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to think the doctor was inappropriate?

(121 Posts)
forbiddenfruit85 Sun 25-Nov-12 15:41:46

Last Wednesday my DD (aged 13) had a dr appointment. She had to take her top off for the dr, and the dr said "you're a big girl aren't you?"

My DD is a size 10 so she's not overweight. She is also around 5ft 5, so hardly tall/big.

I can only really assume that she was referring to her chest. She is definitely bigger than most girls her age and it does make her self conscious. Surely that would be a rather inappropriate comment for a dr to make?

Ginandtonicandamassageplease Sun 25-Nov-12 18:46:02

Big has many connotations socharlotte. Don't try and backtrack now.

TheAccidentalExhibitionist Sun 25-Nov-12 18:46:03

Socharlotte you are talking about averages, very unhelpful and irrelevant really.
I was 6 foot at aged 13, there is no way I was size 10.
I think you're shit stirring.

forbiddenfruit85 Sun 25-Nov-12 18:46:13

who's say size 6 is the normal size?

If you even bothered to google it you would see that it ranges from 6-12.

You are utterly vile.

cumfy Sun 25-Nov-12 18:48:28

I really think you should make an official complaint to the surgery about this.

If nothing else you will get to the bottom of whether the Dr was referring to DD's breasts or adipose tissue.
You will always be wondering otherwise.

McChristmasPants2012 Sun 25-Nov-12 18:50:08

what was the appoinment for.

socharlotte Sun 25-Nov-12 18:50:15

FFS If you refer to something,anything as 'big' then you mean compared to the average.
Size 10 is bigger than the average 13 year old. Not fatter but bigger and at 5' 5'' she is definitely way taller than average I would say

ImperialBlether Sun 25-Nov-12 18:50:36

Of course it's not, socharlotte! FFS she's about 5'5"!

MurderOfGoths Sun 25-Nov-12 18:52:58

"which is what 'big' actually means"

What big actually mean is that it is a descriptive word that can be applied to pretty much everything.

And you know what, even if the doctor was referring to the OP's DD's dress size rather than bust size it is still inappropriate! In fact, possibly more so, a doctor should definitely be aware of the huge percentage of teenagers affected by worry about their weight and the high incidence of eating disorders, depression and self harm in teenage girls.

Ginandtonicandamassageplease Sun 25-Nov-12 18:55:06

I taught at a girls' school for years and the difference between heights and sizes of 13 year olds is enormous. Some were tiny and some were much taller than I am (coincidentally 5'5"). I would say that size 10 is precisely average.

Socharlotte, your comment was unkind and unhelpful. I expect you have only succeeded in upsetting the OP further and sidetracking the thread completely. I suggest you apologise and take your nastiness away.

Isn't 5'5 quite tall for a 13 year old?

forbiddenfruit85 Sun 25-Nov-12 19:02:58

Average height is around 5'3.

And she's not exactly 5'5, I said she's about around that. So 2inches max, isn't quite tall in my opinion.

Also she was sitting down when the comment was made so ..

Not in your opinion but perhaps the Dr thought she was tall for her age.
I dunno must be so difficult for GPs, yes eating disorders are on the rise but so is obesity.

While you might think it inappropriate timing the Dr sees so many bodies she probably didn't even think about it.

If you think the Dr made a mistake then have a word with the practice manager but without knowing what your daughter looks like or what the Dr was actually referring to it's difficult to make an accurate assessment of the Drs behaviour.

forbiddenfruit85 Sun 25-Nov-12 21:03:40

My DD was sat down when the comment was made. I don't think many people would make a comment on someones height whilst they were sat down?

DD took her top off, and then the comment was made.

Icelollycraving Sun 25-Nov-12 21:08:00

I think it's completely about her bust not tummy/height etc. I think a conversation with the practice manager may point out to the gp how sensitive teenagers are.

Tweasels Sun 25-Nov-12 21:13:30

It doesn't matter what she meant. She shouldn't have said it. Whether she meant height, chest, tummy, whatever. It's not appropriate.

squeakytoy Sun 25-Nov-12 21:27:16

Is this a doctor that has known her since she was a little girl?

has your daughter got a big bust? I was a 34dd at 13, and my family doctor was female.. if she had made that comment I would not have thought anything of it, as it was true..

forbiddenfruit85 Sun 25-Nov-12 21:36:45

No she is not her regular gp.

It doesn't matter if its true or not squeakytoy its inappropriate for a doctor to say that, especially to a young girl.

squeakytoy Sun 25-Nov-12 21:43:35

It depends on the context it was meant in. My opinion is that it doesnt sound particularly inappropriate.

Tweasels Sun 25-Nov-12 21:47:31

Ok squeakytoy, if your son had gone to the GP with an issue with his genitals at 13 and the GP had said "you're a big boy aren't you". And he did have a big penis, would that be ok?

GrumpyCynicalBastard Sun 25-Nov-12 21:47:54

No OP - it's not inappropriate at all. You are grossly overreacting and it's YOU making it all about the boobs, or the dress size or whatever - and YOU who'll be giving your DD body issue ideas by making such a monumental fuss about it all. To me it sounds rather as thought the Dr was making an observation - a general non-boob, non-dress size specific observation, the likes of which are made all day every day to children of all sizes.
squeaky is right as are all the others who are trying to downplay this to the non-issue it really is. I suggest you get over it - if your DD sees you making such a hooey about it she'll really get the wrong idea.

I am not sure it is inappropriate, we know neither the Dr nor the girl.
What I do know is:

"For the same period, around three in ten boys and girls (aged 2 to 15) were classed as either overweight or obese (31 per cent and 29 per cent respectively)."

If the GPs aren't allowed to point it out, and hopefully point the parents/children in the right direction for help then who is?

I am not saying this girl is overweight but it's not necessarily inappropriate for a GP to make a comment like this. Again we don't know the details.

Tweasels Sun 25-Nov-12 21:50:50

Grumpy, if FF's DD was 3 that would be reasonable but she's not, she's 13 and a teenager. I would have been horrified if someone said that to me at 13.

GrumpyCynicalBastard Sun 25-Nov-12 21:51:53

Probably so tweasels - probably so - but if I remember rightly anything that is said to one at 13 is a matter of huge cringeworthiness. Even if someone says you have nice hair! grin

NamingOfParts Sun 25-Nov-12 21:53:00

It is an inappropriate comment for a doctor to make.

Having had the opposite experience (I posted about it up thread) where the doctor acted in a totally appropriate and professional manner I know there is a difference.

Patients are vulnerable, especially when they are asked to undress. Young girls will be feeling extra vulnerable. A good doctor should know that and act accordingly.

squeakytoy Sun 25-Nov-12 21:53:29

Tweasels, my 13yo stepson would probably have walked out of that surgery with a huge grin on his face, as would most teenaged boys at being told they had a large penis...

If the 13yo in question here has a large bust, then a factual comment made by the doctor will be nothing compared to the comments made by her peers. As I said, my bust was very large, and the rest of me was tiny.. it wasnt exactly something I could hide (and still cant - so I make the most of them nowadays).

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