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x mas present for dc been ruined by friend wwyd

(152 Posts)
wonderingsoul Sun 25-Nov-12 10:22:38

not sure what to do about this. but couple of weeks ago i had been in town with a friend. she is a lovely friend. i had brought to presents for my dc. coming to £30. which may not sound alot but it is to me and her. i hadnt noticed the time so had to speed of to get kids from school.

she kindly offered to take them back to hers so they wouldnt see the bags and see whats inside. and said shed bring them with her when she came to mine later that night when the kids where asleep.

she forgot and has forgotton the other times. iv offered to go up hers a few times but shes been at work or out.
but as it is her kids have got hold of them and are slightly dirty (their two talking tomes. 2 for 30 in argos) and used basically.

my delimea is now.. i want the money to buy new ones. or it to be replaced. but shes has big money troubles.. so do i

a- just replace them myself and wait for the money instalments .. though i dont really have the money to replace them along with the other stuff i have to get.

b- just forget about them for christmas and get th emoney in the new year.

part of me feels bad wanting to ask her becasue i know her money troubles but then the other part of me feels like my children shouldnt miss out of the presents i brought becasue of it.

Goldenjubilee10 Sun 25-Nov-12 11:15:06

It's quite cute isn't it!

flow4 Sun 25-Nov-12 11:15:14

No-one thinks what her friend did was OK. No-one thinks the OP is BU for being angry and upset about it. The question is what she does now...

She would be perfectly within her rights to tell Friend to buy replacement toys. But if F doesn't have much money, then she may not be able to. And if the OP values the friendship, she may not want to put F in an impossible position, and/or fall out over this. And OP's kids won't mind.

Sometimes, even if someone has been a complete idiot, it is worth forgiving them. smile

wonderingsoul Sun 25-Nov-12 11:18:20

they are 4 and 3.. so more likly theve been pulled out of the box tbh

nomoremarble he hee yes i know toys are bugger to get out. i am sure they the people in the factories tie them as much as possable just for kicks lol.

that said i have had toys that need no more then tugging to get out. so i dont know.

CookingFunt Sun 25-Nov-12 11:19:30

Has the friend apologised?

MsElleTow Sun 25-Nov-12 11:20:11

I would be fuming!

She should be paying for 2 new ones for your two children. She manages to keep the presents she has bought for her children hidden away somewhere safe, but not yours. I very much doubt they accidentally got hold of them!

TidyDancer Sun 25-Nov-12 11:20:49

That's the trouble though flow4. Is a friend who will allow their DCs to do this a friend worth having? I don't know.

To me, it shows a complete lack of respect and concern, it is intensely selfish. But then like I said, I have a cousin who is exactly like that, and I end up having to take a very strong stance with her. I can't cut her out as she's family and has a lovely DS who would suffer for lack of contact with my DCs, but you really can't make allowances for these people. They need to be shown forcefully that they are selfish bastards and their behaviour is unacceptable.

wonderingsoul Sun 25-Nov-12 11:21:03

yes, i dont want to fall out over this. we have been friends fo so long and have major major fallings out before where weve not spoken for months but put i behind us when i had something happen and she was right there soon as she heard. she is a good friend. be it a careless one at times.

TheMonster Sun 25-Nov-12 11:25:55

I would be livid.

flow4 Sun 25-Nov-12 11:26:54

I don't feel qualified to say whether the friendship is worth keeping, Tidy... But I can easily imagine how it could have happened... My kids are much older now, but when they were 3 and 4 they were into everything, and my head was a bit mashed... confused grin I can easily see myself forgetting to give my friend the toys, so putting the bags somewhere really obvious so I wouldn't forget again, then going off to do something, and my kids getting hold of them... sad blush

OHforDUCKScake Sun 25-Nov-12 11:27:16

What has your friend offered to do?

CookingFunt Sun 25-Nov-12 11:30:15

flowin that instance would you give your friend the toys that were used? I certainly wouldn't.

Narked Sun 25-Nov-12 11:31:32

Had you bought her DC Christmas presents? Could the toys they acquired become their gifts and you take back what you'd bought them and use the money to buy new gifts for your DC?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Sun 25-Nov-12 11:31:43

If she's any kind of a friend, she will be worried about falling out over it too and would therefore offer to give the money back. If she doesn't think the friendship is worth thirty quid, then there's something wrong.

melika Sun 25-Nov-12 11:34:46

Is it talking ~Tom, interactive cat? Well if they are slightly dirty, what can you do to clean them up? I think it's a bloody cheek. Never would I trust her to 'look after' anything again. To save friendship, let her know how fed up you are but as the others said just wrap them and hope they don't notice.

wonderingsoul Sun 25-Nov-12 11:35:57

she hasnt offered any thing she had said she was sorry the kids had got hold of them etc then was quite. so i siad id pop round today.

no. we had a set rule this year we would only buy the kids a token present ( ie a tube of sweets) because there is a few kids and moneys tight etc.

Floggingmolly Sun 25-Nov-12 11:36:51

Are they fur covered cats? You can't really clean them up and restore them to "new" like appearance, can you, and they're out of their packaging too angry
They're your kids Christmas presents, they shouldn't have to have grubby pre-played with presents unless you decided that's what they're going to have. I don't suppose the (un opened) things she got for her kids are anything that could be swopped? She really does need to try her best to replace them.

Narked Sun 25-Nov-12 11:38:34

Then I'd suggest she wraps them and gives them to her DC. Then you can have the £30 back from what she was going to give them, which can be returned.

wonderingsoul Sun 25-Nov-12 11:40:37

no. what she does have for her kids mine wont enjoy or things my chidlren arnt into like polly pocket etc. and tbh they both asked for talking toms.

right i am off out. shall pop back later after iv seen the state of them.

im feeling clamer now though and look at them level headed. so thank you.

CookingFunt Sun 25-Nov-12 11:41:21

Agree with narked 100%.

CookingFunt Sun 25-Nov-12 11:43:21

Well she can return her Polly pockets and replace the toys.

flow4 Sun 25-Nov-12 11:45:30

Cookin, it's hard to say since I'm talking hypothetically... I would have wanted to replace/repay, but I can remember a time where a situation like this would have been a real problem for me... Where I had £15 total Christmas budget per child and bought second-hand, so wouldn't have had either cash or replacement toy to offer friend... sad

wondering I'll be thinking of you this aft, and hoping that when you see the toys, they don't look bad/grubby... smile

CSIJanner Sun 25-Nov-12 11:47:24

The she can return the Polly Pckets for ££ and give the money to you. Why should you be the one to learn the lesson. It's quite clear they would like it as they took it out of the packaging and played with them, the. They can have them a s a Christmas present. Jobs a Jolly one!

valiumredhead Sun 25-Nov-12 11:53:11

I'd be furious!!! shock and actually it's a really shitty thing to do and I don;t think many people would be so relaxed and really wouldn't think it was a crap thing to do!

I would have it straight out with her - " Why did you let your kids open MY kid's presents when you KNEW they were their xmas presents?" and I'd want a pretty good explanation and an apology before I would even think about forgiving her!

Hope they clean up ok, I am sure your kids will love them x

CookingFunt Sun 25-Nov-12 11:54:06

I remember only too well struggling at Xmas too,heating up some Turkey slices from a packet for Christmas dinner. If the toys are grubby then they were allowed to play for a while with them.

QOD Sun 25-Nov-12 11:57:36

Sounds s bit fishy to me

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