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x mas present for dc been ruined by friend wwyd

(152 Posts)
wonderingsoul Sun 25-Nov-12 10:22:38

not sure what to do about this. but couple of weeks ago i had been in town with a friend. she is a lovely friend. i had brought to presents for my dc. coming to £30. which may not sound alot but it is to me and her. i hadnt noticed the time so had to speed of to get kids from school.

she kindly offered to take them back to hers so they wouldnt see the bags and see whats inside. and said shed bring them with her when she came to mine later that night when the kids where asleep.

she forgot and has forgotton the other times. iv offered to go up hers a few times but shes been at work or out.
but as it is her kids have got hold of them and are slightly dirty (their two talking tomes. 2 for 30 in argos) and used basically.

my delimea is now.. i want the money to buy new ones. or it to be replaced. but shes has big money troubles.. so do i

a- just replace them myself and wait for the money instalments .. though i dont really have the money to replace them along with the other stuff i have to get.

b- just forget about them for christmas and get th emoney in the new year.

part of me feels bad wanting to ask her becasue i know her money troubles but then the other part of me feels like my children shouldnt miss out of the presents i brought becasue of it.

pixiestix Sun 25-Nov-12 10:40:08

I woud be pissed off and asking for the money back.

Svrider Sun 25-Nov-12 10:40:24

Ok if you don't think your "friend" will replace replace them, I guess you've got no choice but to wrap them up
I'd be well pissed off with her tbh
It's not "one if those things", its your "friend" not taking care of presents that you've saved hard for
You need to tell her how upset you are

akaemmafrost Sun 25-Nov-12 10:42:16

I would be extremely pissed off. Although I probably wouldn't demand new ones, clean them up as others have said but it would take the shine off them for me, though I am sure your dc will still enjoy them smile.

I would judge someone who did this.

ChippingInLovesAutumn Sun 25-Nov-12 10:42:40

It is shitty that she didn't look after your things more carefully, I'd be really annoyed too.

It is a shame that to you they wont seem 'new new' when your kids get them, but honestly, they wont care one bit.

I would get them back today (no matter what state they are in) and have a good look at them, clean them up and see what you think. If they are passable I'd just give them to the kids for Christmas, if not I'd have a word to her about replacing them and then her giving these ones to her children for christmas as they seem to like them so much.

TidyDancer Sun 25-Nov-12 10:45:48

Sounds like she let her DC play with them toys and she depended on your good nature for it not to become an issue.

I would absolutely be asking her to replace the toys or give you the equivalent money. It doesn't matter if they can be cleaned up now, it's the fact that she's done it. She needs to realise this is unacceptable behaviour.

I have a cousin who behaves like this. Trust me, until you take a firm hand with them, they will continue taking the piss again and again.

LIZS Sun 25-Nov-12 10:48:08

Had to google to see what they were. Depends how grubby they are really. If they look ok ask her for new batteries in case they have run down the preloaded ones. if not she'll need to replace the toys. How come she has kept her won purchases out of harm's way but not yours hmm

Teeb Sun 25-Nov-12 10:49:37

I'd be utterly pissed off if a friend did this to me and except them to be replaced/given the money. She can tell her kids that the presents they have now unwrapped and made dirty are their 'early Christmas presents' if the money is that short.

I feel really bad for you op, when money is tight having something new and shiny and impressive looking in a box to hand over means quite a lot, and she's basically just said 'I don't give a shit about your kids, your money, your feelings and hard you had to save for it,.'angry

wonderingsoul Sun 25-Nov-12 10:52:35

i dont think she would have let them open them on on purpose. well i like to think so any way.

i shall have a good look tonight. if they are savable and can be cleaned then i will leave it. tell her that im pissed at her have a rant and then get over it with the knowlagde of not to let her look after things again.

if not i will tell her her kids can have them but i want the money in january. she prob would pay the money now but i know her kids will lose out and thats not really fair.

BrianButterfield Sun 25-Nov-12 10:52:55

YANBU! It's beyond shit that she let her kids play with them and I would imagine a 7 year old definitely would notice they weren't in their packaging.

SundaeGirl Sun 25-Nov-12 10:54:55

YANBU. She should replace them.

Tell her she can eBay those ones as a contribution to getting you new ones. She should, have kept them out of the way of her DC.

I would be RAGING if this happened because you just know her kids haven't gone near the toys she bought.

Teeb Sun 25-Nov-12 10:55:17

The thing is her kids won't lose out will they? They are up two presents, just that they had them earlier than Christmas day. Why should her children have more to unwrap on Christmas day than yours will?

wonderingsoul Sun 25-Nov-12 10:55:47


I feel really bad for you op, when money is tight having something new and shiny and impressive looking in a box to hand over means quite a lot,

yes this is it. i do budget and save months in advance to get my children things. esp things i know that they will love. this isnt their main present. just something that they would not have got any other time of the year.

CSIJanner Sun 25-Nov-12 10:55:59

I take it her children didn't find their presents and play with them - just yours? If that's the case, then I would be asking for the money or if she had any nectar points to replace them, as she didn't take care with your things, just hers.

Tailtwister Sun 25-Nov-12 10:59:39

Taking everything into account, I would clean them up and let it go tbh. Yes, your friend was very wrong to let her children play with the toys. However, she probably won't be able to give you the money for new ones and demanding she does so will probably cause more problems.

Just never let her look after anything for you again OP and chalk it up to experience.

socharlotte Sun 25-Nov-12 10:59:44

what are talking tomes, are they hard toys or soft toys?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Sun 25-Nov-12 11:01:21

I'd be asking for all the money now in time to buy replacements. If her kids are going to miss out because of it, then that's her fault. She should have thought about that before allowing her children to get hold of stuff that doesn't belong to them.

I'd be really angry with a so called friend for this. It's easily forgivable if she makes up for it and gives you the money, but if she doesn't, then I'd be reassessing whether this is someone I want to be friends with or have my children around. If she doesn't give you the money she is showing she has no morals and doesn't care if your children's presents have been spoiled.

wonderingsoul Sun 25-Nov-12 11:01:51

teebe i dont mean theri miss out in present so much as in food.. decs.. money is very tight for her at the mo.. i am in a better money situation then her. (due to starting months ago and budgeting.. ) i just dont have an extra 30 laying around to replace them with out that digging into the fund for other things.

wonderingsoul Sun 25-Nov-12 11:04:07

talking tomes are soft toys. like the app.. stuffed cat that copies what you say purrss etc.. and his friend the dog.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Sun 25-Nov-12 11:06:32

Her kids wont lose out. They just got their Christmas presents early. Serves them right for snooping....

Take them back to friend and say you bought NEW presents for her kids, not second hand ones, and ask for the money.

She should have guarded them better.

ScaryHairyMcSweary Sun 25-Nov-12 11:06:39


NotQuintAtAllOhNo Sun 25-Nov-12 11:07:10

Sorry, you bought NEW presents for YOUR kids, not second hand ones - which these ones are literally.

TidyDancer Sun 25-Nov-12 11:11:39

You are too nice for your own good.

Tell her she has to replace them, if she has to budget better to do it, so be it. That's not for you to worry about. She shouldn't have let her DCs do what they did.

Goldenjubilee10 Sun 25-Nov-12 11:12:43

Do you buy her children Christmas presents. If so then give them these. Get your 'friend' to give you something towards replacing them for your children. I'm sure it wasn't deliberate but it should be a lesson to her.

CookingFunt Sun 25-Nov-12 11:13:01

I would be offering to replace them if I was the friend. She can return something to get the money for your DC presents. She should have hidden them better.

NoMoreMarbles Sun 25-Nov-12 11:14:23

TBH I would be furious! If she is aware of your money worries then she should replace them regardless of her troubles too! His she apologised at all?

How old are her children? If the toys were taken out of the packaging, how likely is it that the children were the ones who took em out of the boxes? Every toy my DD has had in packaging was a total ball-ache to get out of the box...

(I'm not in a particularly charitable mood today so I may be being a little harsh...)

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