to hate my birthday(56 Posts)
I am trying to do something for my birthday after many years of bitter disappointed.
My birthday is 11 days before christmas, it always have been lol, I understand that people are short of cash with christmas but I want one year to be a bit special.
I am just getting a bit sick of the only excuss that christmas is so close.
My 3rd daughter was born on Christmas eve and it was lovely as she was born at home ( intentionally ) so was a special pressie for that year.she will be 14 this year and everyone buys separate pressies and cards, also she never has to go to school on her birthday
Dawntigga, why do you do that? On every post on every thread you have that hash tag nonsense. This isn't twitter. Nothing is being trended when you do it.
Sorry not hash tag, but a long sentence followed by your name and two x's.
OP I feel you My birthday is 19th Dec, no one can ever be bothered to do anything that close. I'm not fussed about presents, but I always turn up to people's birthday celebrations throughout the year, I must have been to at least a dozen in 2012, but a grand total of two people are reciprocating by coming out to my quiet and cheap drinks night, even though I tried to be flexible with the date to accommodate them I've all but given up trying to organise anything now. I always take my birthday off work, put a fancy frock on, bake myself a cake and occasionally open a bottle of cava who needs friends.
In my close family I have 3 birthdays within the Xmas period. 2 within 10 days before and 1 in 'Twixmas ' ( dont you just love that word )
There has never been a missed birthday or combined present situation with any of them . They are all well over 21 so have had lots of opportunity for disappointment if it existed.Its a simple budgeting arrangement and proper friends and family should act accordingly.
YANBU. My birthday is 9 days after Christmas, so by the time they've celebrated Christmas and New Year, they are all partied and and skint and don't want to do anything. My mum put on a party for my 18th, only a handful of people turned up. I get birthday presents bought in the sale- nothing wrong with that, but they could at least remove the sale price sticker first!
DD1 has her birthday 11 days before Christmas. She'll be 11 this year. We always try to make it special for her.
I really don't get the whole 'joint' present, unless its something big and expensive. Even with a march birthday myself, if I wanted something particularly expensive, it meant I got a much small present at Xmas.
But YANBU. I have a cousin whose birthday is the 23rd and two friends (different social circles) who are on the 27th. I've always done separate cards, presents (in the appropriate wrap) and made sure I've enough money for the night out. My biggest problem has been when both people want to celebrate on their actual day.
In fact, not only do I not mind my birthday being xmas eve, as a child I always wanted to get married on the 26th so I'd have presents three days in a row
Somewhat coincidentally, I ended up having a shotgun wedding, however DS1 was conceived on boxing day!
(Both sets of grandparents also got married on boxing day
same year too! so I'd also be carrying on a bit of a tradition)
Fake I've always done it, it came as a reaction to something else.
Oh and I pre-date the hashtag.
Dawn has done that for AGES. I would be quite sad if you stopped now!
I thought this was going to be about birthdays in general. Since I hit about 31 I have not really liked the idea of celebrating them at all, I am not remotely happy to be getting a year older. When I hit about 75 and am glad to have hung on another year I may start up again. Hitting 39 this year, with a Dboyfriend 5 years younger, was particularly cringey, next year will be unbearable.
I did wonder fake, but couldnt figure out how to ask without appearing rude
mine is new years day so everywhere is closed for a start, everyone is hungover or in bed from the night before, and if you do try and go anywhere its all booked/double the price. people already have plans on that day too with family. dh never did anything for my bday anyway so this year im happy to have a quiet day with my family im past having a fuss made but i know how frustrating it can be!
Another Boxing Day babe here.
My extensive 52 year research on the subject suggests that Christmas birthdays are more successful before the 25th than after, while people still have cash to spend and are still in the party spirit. Afterwards they tend to be skint or have had enough, and when I was growing up bank holidays were much more rigidly observed so just about everywhere was closed.
Like most of you, I also had my share of joint presents, if they came at all - my day usually got lost in the rush. Like it or not, most people are generally selfish and only remember their own needs at Christmas. I used to feel that at least I knew who my real friends were, even if there weren't many of them, because they'd always remember.
In adulthood it would piss me off when we'd go out drinking in larger groups, and someone would remember about 10.30pm that it was Streaky's birthday and scrape together a shitty card effort fashioned from beermats, and not quite grasp why I didn't appreciate it . Over the years I just learned to accept that my birthday wasn't a big deal for anyone, not even family (my mum regularly forgot), so I didn't expect much from it myself.
But since I met dh he's always made an effort to make it special. He once hid white lilies in the coal house for two days because I had mentioned I'd never had flowers on my birthday . These days we have our own little party in the garden with the firepit blazing, non-Christmassy food and us all wrapped up in blankets. Dh decorates the garden with lights and lanterns and one of the shrubs gets baubles on it to become my Birthday Tree. To make it special for my birthday, the decorations get done on Boxing Day morning and are put away on the 27th - they are just for my day and definitely not part of Christmas. I love my birthday now and look forward to it more than Christmas Day .
OP, if you want your day to be special you'll probably have to make it that way yourself. People WILL forget because it's human nature, but I hope you have a lovely birthday whatever you do .
My mum and uncle's birthday is mid december, my friend's birthday is 24th and MIL is new years eave.
The only one who doesn't like her birthday is my mum, the other two always have a party to go to/everyone is in a celebratory mood. Mum is usually cooking for Christmas.
This year I am thinking of paying for a hotel in London for the night - as a joint present - possibly a bad idea given what you lot have said .
YANBU must be awful. I also hate my birthday, its just after Christmas. Nobody wants to go out as they are skint...or theyre on a detox....or a holiday. My Mum always goes away for the winter so shes never there. Its always just a really big let down. People say...'oh we'll celebrate properly later on' but they never do, its crap.
<waves to Streaky>
My birthday is 2 weeks before Christmas and I hate it.
When I was a child, everyone was skint and either forgot or said they would 'treat me after Christmas' -which never happened. I always ended up feeling crap and responsible that other people had to find money for gifts etc (still do, actually).
Everyone is, naturally, caught up in Christmas preparations and I always wish the day would slip by unnoticed.
DH and my DDs always make it special and make a big fuss of me now, which is lovely, but my extended family often forget.
DD1 was born just after Christmas and we make a HUGE fuss of her -and woe betide and suggestions of 'joint gifts' from anyone else.
However, she often gets family cards days late and it infuriates me.
My birthday is 15th December & DH's is 14th December. It's never really bothered me, but then I've never been one for parties anyway! As a kid I used to have a birthday party & always got separate gifts.
It's a bit crap as an adult now, but only because DH's birthday is the day before. We generally go out on the night of the 14th, so it crosses both birthdays. Sounds great, but in practice it means we usually spend my birthday with a cracking hangover.
Before DC's it was pretty cool as we used to try to go away for our birthdays, and most places are lovely & Christmassy at that time.
My family is all crammed into the end of the year though - mum is end of Nov, DS was due end of Nov but came mid-Oct. Am now pregnant with DC2 who is due end of Jan, but if he comes early like DC1, that puts him right in the birthday/Christmas period.
YANBU to be annoyed that people don't make the effort for your birthday.
YABU to complain things are all booked up. It's not a surprise, you could have organised something AGES ago and got your friends to commit and booked somewhere nice.
Just thought of something else.
Birthday cards (when they come) arrive in the post with Christmas cards and you often can't tell from the outside which is which. It means you end up opening your birthday cards early and it's harder to save them for the day so you can make it special. That can be a real pain when you only get half a dozen or so because it minimises it.
Reading that back, it sounds so self-obsessed and trivial but it's not really. Everyone has birthdays and it feels unfair when other people have a special day and we Christmas types get forgotten about. I know it had a huge impact on my self-esteem growing up, because it's like being told you're not as important as everyone else.
My birthday is tomorrow I quite enjoy it, people are starting to feel a bit Christmassy and there are lovely gift sets in the shops etc... My SIL is NY day and everyone is so over partying and gifts by then. I feel sorry for her
Well it seems to me that a lot of you just have shit family/friends.
I´m closer to Christmas (but still before) that OP & I love, love, love it!
Are you an only one, OP?
I have a sibling who has a Summer bday.
No joint presents there-so obviously none allowed for me either!
I think the thing is that once you reach a certain age (about 22 or so?) most birthdays are pretty much non-events. So after that age, everyone's having pretty dull, non eventful birthdays, whether they're at Christmas time or not. Maybe Christmas birthdays seem duller in comparison to the Christmas parties that are going on?
I mean, I'll come straight out - my last birthday (and I was 35, so that's a pretty round number) we didn't do anything in the way of a party or even a special meal, because we had building works going on. I think I got presents from my DH, DM, DB, DSis and my DMiL. That's it. My friends didn't fall over themselves to wish me happy birthday, and I didn't really expect them to.
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