Advanced search

To think that just because I look a bit different doesn't mean

(194 Posts)
FrenchRuby Fri 23-Nov-12 23:37:37

That it's ok to lean out of your car and shout abuse at me? Or make rude comments.
I have blue hair and lots of tattoos and piercings. Now I do know that this is entirely my choice and I do expect odd looks, which to be honest I don't get now nearly as much as I used to but still the the odd double take or people saying they like my hair etc.
Yesterday I was walking my son to school and standing at the road waiting to cross and some guy leaned out of his van and shouted 'Urg what the fuck is that' at me.
It's not the first time people have been rude. A while ago I was sat on the bus with my dh and an old lady leaned over and said to us 'I feel so sorry for your little boy, he is going to be so ashamed of you when he is older'. And I once had a lady tell me that I'd never get a boyfriend with all that metal in my face. How do people think this is ok, just to comment on people's appearance like that? By all means think it, I don't care what people think, if I did I wouldn't look like I do.

FivesAndNorks Sat 24-Nov-12 17:38:27

ChippingIn isn't on this thread

aufaniae Sat 24-Nov-12 17:42:24

Ha ha, oops! I meant clipped!

ChippingIn if you read this, I do apologise if it looked like I was aiming that at you, I have no idea what your views on conformity are!

specialsubject Sat 24-Nov-12 17:44:37

Doing something unusual with your appearance will attract attention. That means people are allowed to look, although I think staring at anyone is a bit rude.

abuse and insults, absolutely not. Being a little old lady is no excuse for comments like that! And clearly you did get a boyfriend :-)

This is a perfect case of the old 'if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing!' What is wrong with people?

scottishmummy Sat 24-Nov-12 17:46:00

it's extremely rude of people to make abusive comments and be obnoxious
however, you must know certain looks will provoke response,comment
equally looking like a towie girl would get comments too. if you're happy ignore folk

rhondajean Sat 24-Nov-12 17:48:28

French I bet you look amazing.

scottishmummy Sat 24-Nov-12 17:54:34

thank you for recalling Sophie Lancaster case, dreadfully sad
fwiw,my kids love the look of goths,piercings,colured hair.they stare appreciatively

superstarheartbreaker Sat 24-Nov-12 18:02:11

In my opinion once you have kids it is all the more reason to hang onto whatever your OWN identity is rather than conforming to a yummy mummy boden/Cath Kidston mess.

scottishmummy Sat 24-Nov-12 18:04:24

I wholeheartedly agree,find your own individual style,wear what suits you
and be aware you'll not please everyone

FryOneFatManic Sat 24-Nov-12 19:17:44

I had blue streaks in my hair when I was a teenager, and dyed it bright red for a number of years. I was always a bit different, sort of cross between a hippy and a metalhead in style. No way would I have toned it down to please some numpty who thought that they were the arbiter of normal.

I still dress a lot like that.

DD is developing her own style, very sharp tailoring, etc, which again for a child of her age (12) isn't really what some people consider normal. But I support her choice to dress as she likes (and she has style.) grin

5dcsinneedofacleaner Sat 24-Nov-12 19:42:33

some people just need to keep their opinions to themselves dont they!. If you want to have blue hair etc what business is it of theirs?

I have red hair and my 3 youngest children alo have red hair - I have had cars beep me when im walking with them to shout "witty" red hair comments. Have you ever had "do you have ginger pubes" shouted through a car window at you while walking with your children - I have and it makes me a tad angry.

FrenchRuby Sat 24-Nov-12 19:46:17

That's my point! Why do people think that that's an ok thing to do?!

FryOneFatManic Sat 24-Nov-12 19:48:26

The sad thing is that while we have judgemental people like ClippedPhoenix (and yes you are being judgemental), then we will still get people abused for any reason. It's just that hair colour, clothing, etc is a little more obvious, but nasty people will still find something to abuse people with.

It all boils down to the attitude of "you are different to me, so therefore there's something wrong with you" that so many narrow-minded people display.

We are all different; we should just accept that.

gimmecakeandcandy Sat 24-Nov-12 19:56:46

One of the things I hate most in this world is the fact that people ate so judged on what they wear, how they have their hair etc. Why? And why do people think that just because someone dyes their hair blue they ate doin it for attention? Erm, can't it just be for themselves? Some people have a really backward view of what people should/should not wear. I can't believe the rude comments the op has had from real life people! It's craZy!

Op you wear what you want and ignore the ignorant wankers in the street who say stupid, ignorant things.

BrittaPerry Sat 24-Nov-12 20:04:40

I have purple hair, and apparently I dress oddly. I have no idea in what way I dress oddly, most of my clothes are from normal shops and everything, and even when I wear a suit (when I had my natural hair) people still said I was a 'dirty mosher', so...shrug.

Anyhow. Yes, you do need to dress in a certain way to be a banker or whatever, but if you are just going about your daily life, you shoukd be able to wear what you like (except obscene t shirts etc, obv)

Most of the mums my age round here wear hair extensions, fake tan, heels and so on, and there is NO WAY I would insult them about it. No way.

I would find it difficult to believe that people would do such things, but unfortunatly I got it loads as a teenager, and what about poor Sophie Lancaster?

What do the haters wear, anyway?

NotMostPeople Sat 24-Nov-12 20:12:10

My dd gets a lot of stick at school for being a goth (a label she doesn't like, but to give you an idea). She is 13 is in uniform at school but sneaks a bit of black eyeliner on so not outrageously dressed but just this week one of her class mates felt the need to tell her that 'people like you make me sick'. This is from a girl who blindly follows the trend for Jack Wills, One Direction and spends her evenings pouting in an overt manner for Facebook photos - I know which one I'd rather have as a daughter.

Glittertwins Sat 24-Nov-12 20:15:53

I'd love to have blue hair all over. I used to have it black with violet and electric blue streaks a few years back and more recently bright pink underlayer. It took quite a bit of maintenance to keep the pink bright. I bet the insults came from larger than average, badly dressed people...(not that I am judging but this is where I got the insults from).

SchroSawMummyRidingSantaClaus Sat 24-Nov-12 20:21:58

My hair is no longer bright as I want my own colour back but even though I have taken loads of piercings out, I still get this. sad

I have my cheeks pierced so there is no way I can hide them really and I am pretty much covered in tattoos, including my hands and chest and a half sleeve. I live in Glasgow, it's ned city here so I get abuse a lot. I wish people would just grow up and accept that others own lives are theirs to make their own choices about and that underneath it all, we are all the same.

Sophie Lancaster has already been mentioned, I was going to until I seen that she had been mentioned. I wear a Sophie band, I really believe that no one should have to suffer because of how they choose to dress or what they choose to do with their body.

AuntieMaggie Sat 24-Nov-12 20:27:46


I'd love to colour my hair a bright colour but being a natural blonde any colour fades in about 2 days.

I get unwanted attention about the size of my boobs no matter how conservatively I dress. Having recently lost weight they stick out more again and having some knobhead shout obscenities at me out of his shitty car when I was walkin home at 3pm in the afternoon made me feel shit about myself and want to put all the weight back on.

Nobody has the right to make anyone to feel that way because of how they look.

MmeGuillotine Sat 24-Nov-12 21:18:08

I am a goth and have had bright pink hair (but no tattoos and no piercings at all) for many years now and I don't think I've ever had any hassle about it. I get people coming up to me all the time to say how much they like it and I hear children at my DS's school occasionally asking their mothers about it but other than that, it's as if no one has noticed!

However, my natural hair colour is a rather vivid shade of red and I used to get abuse ALL THE TIME for that. I find it quite funny that no one bats so much as an eyelash at my pink hair but when I had my natural colour, I could barely set foot outside without some idiot shouting something or being asked impertinent questions about my genital region. ;)

I accept that choosing to look the way I do is inevitably going to attract attention but I feel really happy, strong and confident when I look this way - which is a big deal as I have Aspergers.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: