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To say this wasnt my life plan?

(20 Posts)
Gottabbrave Fri 23-Nov-12 21:30:03

Stay sahm to4 dcs 2 different dads one good one an idiot would love to study but baby is just 9 months . I also have a dd 2 a dd 9 and a dd 12 . I genuinely thought my relationships would last and my dcs are my world and my everything and im sooo proud of them all. I just seem to have lost me somewhere along the line . I dont have much support and would love to study I just never have the time or energy just feel in a complete rut anyone sympethise ??

Gottabbrave Fri 23-Nov-12 21:33:09

Bad typos sorry x

HairyGrotter Fri 23-Nov-12 21:34:36

I never had a life plan, might make one...I plan to seduce Simon Neil of Biffy Clyro and wife happily ever after.

Your baby is still young, you can still study when the babba is a little older. I have one DD, am a lone parent, and in my 3rd year of uni. Life ain't for planning, just live it as best you can whatever is throw at you

HairyGrotter Fri 23-Nov-12 21:34:57


WidowWadman Fri 23-Nov-12 21:36:16

Have you looked at the OU? You could start off with a gentle introductory course to see whether it suits you? If money is an issue, if you're under a certain household income you can get help with study costs, and you can also spread it out into monthly installments rather than a lump sum.

mrscumberbatch Fri 23-Nov-12 21:37:19

I have only one thing to say, and it's 'MON THE BIFFY!'

All best laid plans go to waste etc etc.

bradywasmyfavouriteking Fri 23-Nov-12 21:37:49

What was your life plan?
how old are you?

Gottabbrave Fri 23-Nov-12 21:40:12

Thanks hairy thats what im trying to do but got so much worry about my narc ex. He would rather play mind games than think of his kids. your right ill raise the kids then ill run off with mr bloom from cbeebies I think xxx

sweetkitty Fri 23-Nov-12 21:42:19

I feel like that too I have 4 DC and been a SAHM for 8 years, I have a great DP, fabulous DC etc but feel I want something for me.

I already have a degree but it was so specialised hardly any jobs. I would need to retrain, would love to be a primary teacher but don't know if I could handle the pressures of the course plus the DCs, DP works long hours and we have no family help. Sometimes I feel like I'm destined to stay at home forever sad

Gottabbrave Fri 23-Nov-12 21:43:05

Im 34 and yeah having kids was my plan but a decent man helps i just like looking after everybody and their problems thats my mistake x

Gottabbrave Fri 23-Nov-12 21:46:38

Thanks sweet and well done for the degree. Takes some dedication and more especially with kids . I think when they are older I may try something. Its just so mundane isnt it . I even dream bottle washing and mr tumble yuk!!

Gottabbrave Fri 23-Nov-12 21:52:07

And thanks widow some good advice there . Im afraid I need every single penny at the moment . x

sweetkitty Fri 23-Nov-12 21:58:47

Oh no the degree was when I was young. I don't know if I can study now confidence shot to pieces. I'm thinking of doing an evening course next year it's on Early Years and Childcare one night a week at the local college.

Gottabbrave Fri 23-Nov-12 22:08:07

Great idea ! ive thought along those lines too us women are great jugglers. we have to be dont we?

I think we all feel a bit stuck with young children because you know your options are fairly limited. I assume your DD will start nursery next year when she turns 3 so you will only have one child full time which might allow you to explore some choices that aren't available now. I know some women who had access to a creche at college when they were studying.

Just wait until you don't have any children in nappies any more; that was one of my milestones.

Gottabbrave Fri 23-Nov-12 22:33:38

Thanks chaz yeah I dont think many colleges have creches but I will definately explore that option . With no car im also limited . I have a licence but im a v bad driver so prefer not to. Its a few years that will drag a bit I think especially as ive been there before with my older girls but dont get me wrong im still enjoying the baby stage x

Rockchick1984 Fri 23-Nov-12 23:24:01

I'm a SAHM doing a degree with the OU at the moment, I took student loans to cover the tuition fees so don't start repaying until I'm earning over £25k per year. I've worked out that it'll probably take me 6 years to complete the degree, but can basically do it in anything from 4-12 years smile

GhostShip Fri 23-Nov-12 23:30:56

You dont even need to go through the OU, you can do an Distance Learning Course. You can pay for this monthly too :D

i'm doing an 'access to health' course. This means I can go on to uni to do nursing, midwifery and other health related professions.

If you did anything like that, at the uni stage you will get help with childcare. Think its up to like 80 percent

Kitano55 Sat 24-Nov-12 09:43:04

It depends what you want to study too, but there are so many online courses and many free tools and resources to help you. I'm currently doing an MA at uni but, since starting, have found that I could learn pretty much everything I need to learn by using online resources. If you don't have the cash to start a formal qualification, you could still do some of the many fascinating free modules in all kinds of subjects on the Open University's Open Learn programme - totally free and high quality resources. Good luck.

Kitano55 Sat 24-Nov-12 09:47:12

Forgot to include the link, if you're interested -

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