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To want my MIL to take this photo off her Facebook?

(114 Posts)
DancingLola Fri 23-Nov-12 21:27:10

Sorry,a joint FB/MIL whinge coming up!

I just logged on to FB to find my MIL has uploaded a photo of DS in the bath on her profile, and has made it her profile pic. He's lying on his front covered in bubbles & you can quite clearly see his bum. Aibu to not be happy about the photo being public? I'm not one of these people who thinks there are peadophiles lurking everywhere, and I don't mind her putting up photos of him normally (as long he's wearing clothes!) but I have no idea who she's friends with on FB & want her to delete it!

DancingLola Fri 23-Nov-12 22:01:06

Tysonsmummy - I didn't say bums were rude, and yes they feature in nappy adverts... I'm assuming with the permission of the parents/guardians. I don't mind MIL having photos of DS in the bath,she can keep them in an album to embarrass him with when he's a teenager,but I'd rather they not be online.

GrumpyCynicalBastard Fri 23-Nov-12 22:01:10

Rend is a verb and was used correctly.

Thier is clearly a typo.

Fail. And fail.

Is that really the best you can do in the face of a witty and well observed comment?

catgirl1976 Fri 23-Nov-12 22:01:10

for you Alliwant

Renders means something else altogether as you can see

Dictionary for you for Christmas from me.......

catgirl1976 Fri 23-Nov-12 22:02:18

I have lopped off my middle finger due to the typo though......

psychomum5 Fri 23-Nov-12 22:02:33

If you don;t like it, tell her. Nicely. She is your MIL tho, and mother of your DS dad. By that very fact she is allowed to use pics in any way she pleases.

I have five children. I give pics to my in laws. they can use them as they see fit. I have to trust them. Being family it would cause issues otherwise.

You are mum, you can SAY you don;t like it. But equally, by being grandma, she can ignore you.

sadly, such is the way of life.

especially life with the access to the world that we all now have.

juedanlil Fri 23-Nov-12 22:02:34

I would just click report and Facebook will ask her to remove it x

shesariver Fri 23-Nov-12 22:03:05

YANBU her profile picture should be a picture of her and not anyone else. Isn't that actually in the facebook rules?

No, otherwise I would be mistaken for a snowman.

RSVPentathlon Fri 23-Nov-12 22:03:22

I don't think YABU.
I would not like it either and would ask politely for it to be removed.

No hysteria just a preference.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Fri 23-Nov-12 22:05:16

grin after too much wine, I had wondered if I should google my attitude before disclosing it! SORRY!! wine hic...

2rebecca Fri 23-Nov-12 22:06:32

I think you should always ask a parent's permission before putting pictures of a child on facebook or the internet.
I wouldn't put photos of my nephews up without my brother's consent and now my kids are teenagers they get to veto what I put up.
I would politely ask her to take it down and explain the internet is very different to just showing a photo to a few friends.
I'd only report it if she refused. I would expect any of my relatives to be very apologetic at upsetting me but some of you have strange entitled relatives.

catgirl1976 Fri 23-Nov-12 22:07:55

Ahh I'm sorry too......I'm not trying to be a twunt to the OP. This thread just comes up a lot and I despair at the way the world is going on this sort of thing.

A peachy baby / child bottom is a lovely thing. It's sad that people feel too afraid or whatever to celebrate it, that's all

psychomum5 Fri 23-Nov-12 22:07:56

don;t click report for heavens sake.

that is how all pics of breast feeding got banned. By people being offended by a NATURAL THING.

bums are natural, and pretty damn cute when showed off by small scrumptious kids.

altho I may well be offended by a hairy and spotty bum <boak>

SamSmalaidh Fri 23-Nov-12 22:08:38

There is a difference between naked photos and clothed photos - I would put a clothed photo of a friend or relative on fb without their permission, but I wouldn't put a photo of them sunbathing topless. Why shouldn't children get the same consideration?

DancingLola Fri 23-Nov-12 22:11:07

I'm not going to report her to FB, DH has left her a message asking her to change it & I'm sure she will.

CheshireDing Fri 23-Nov-12 22:14:19


I have put the odd pic of a friends child on fb but they were fully clothed and Mum had already put pictures of her children on fb (otherwise I definitely wouldn't have put them on).

I think she has probably done it in all innocence but I know if my MIL or Mum did it DH would ask for it to be taken done as well as me. I think it's unnecessary for naked childrens pictures to be on fb but then I don't get why people put bf pictures on fb either, or put a comment in their status saying something like "on the 3rd breast feed of the night".

Somethings needs to stay private.

CheshireDing Fri 23-Nov-12 22:14:38

taken * down *

DancingLola Fri 23-Nov-12 22:15:33

I do think baby/children's bums are lovely too, and not offensive in the slightest. However, as I've made the choice not to show my DS's bum online I'd hope that other family members would respect that too

Nicknamegrief Fri 23-Nov-12 22:15:49

You can change the privacy settings so that only friends can see your profile picture.

I don't necessarily like loads of photos/ details about my life going on Facebook and have locked the account so people can't tag me. There is of course an argument of why I bother with the darn thing (currently we are abroad and it seems to be the only way 95% of our family contact us- another issue).

I wouldn't report it as there is no harm meant in it (referring to 2rebecca's comment) but while I'd want it off FB if I thought it would cause upset I'd forget it as I'm sure she'll change it soon enough.

However I wouldn't think you were unreasonable to ask for her to change it.

Nicknamegrief Fri 23-Nov-12 22:18:44

Sorry, loads of messages got added as I took ages writing my comment. Hope it all works out peacefully.

Facebook needs a whole book on modern day manners in my opinion.

AreAllMenTheSame2 Sat 24-Nov-12 00:39:57

Yanbu. If your unhappy about a picture put on the internet of YOUR Childs bottom then you have every right to be!!! He is YOUR child. I would just speak to mil about it and if you get on she will most likely take it down smile

Totally disagree with physcomum "mother of your DS dad. By that very fact she is allowed to use pics in any way she pleases." No No No and erm No!!! Just because she's related to the father of the baby it doesn't allow her to do anything!!!!

if you do, and have pics of your DS, and put them on your wall, then she too is allowed to. He is still her grandson. He is the baby of HER baby

She is not allowed to do anything without mothers consent. Just because she is a grandma doesn't give her an automatic right to the baby or his pictures!

I will probably get flamed for saying that but i stand by what i say. I do not think just because your a granny grandad auntie uncle whatever your "allowed" to put pictures online ECT. But tht might just be me.

OP i would definatly speak to your mil if your uncomfortable about your sons bum being on the internet. Your child so your choice

StuntGirl Sat 24-Nov-12 01:00:27

I don't know, I'd really rather not see anybodies arse on FB hmm

seeker Sat 24-Nov-12 01:13:55

I appear to be hardwired to disagree with anything a person who says "your child your rules " or any version thereof says. How very strange!

nailak Sat 24-Nov-12 01:47:08


if it was a baby it would be different, but i wouldnt want pics of my 5 year old naked on fb, she wouldn't want it either and would be extrememly distressed, although she likes normal pics,

not because she is ashamed of her body or anything like that, I mean she has no problems changing for pe etc (hows that going btw firawla), just because she thinks private parts are private, and I agree.

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 24-Nov-12 02:02:44

I wouldn't be happy with that either but she's a grandparent so on mn that usually means she can do anything she wants no matter what and the parents cannot complain, special extra rights if said grandparent is a in law just on the off chance you may have one day prioritised your own parents, fuck it even if you didn't you might.


thecatsminion Sat 24-Nov-12 08:07:52

YANBU - I think he'll be awfully embarrassed about it when he grows up.

She presumably wouldn't put a photo of her own arse up on Facebook. At least, I hope not.

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