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To want my MIL to take this photo off her Facebook?

(114 Posts)
DancingLola Fri 23-Nov-12 21:27:10

Sorry,a joint FB/MIL whinge coming up!

I just logged on to FB to find my MIL has uploaded a photo of DS in the bath on her profile, and has made it her profile pic. He's lying on his front covered in bubbles & you can quite clearly see his bum. Aibu to not be happy about the photo being public? I'm not one of these people who thinks there are peadophiles lurking everywhere, and I don't mind her putting up photos of him normally (as long he's wearing clothes!) but I have no idea who she's friends with on FB & want her to delete it!

WorraLiberty Fri 23-Nov-12 21:42:53

Actually I agree - it is a bit disrespectful to the child to put naked photos of him online presumably without his consent.

Is it not also 'disrespectful' to put photos up of him with his bum covered?

When I was a kid and my Aunt and Uncles would come and visit, my Mum would get the photo album out and I would absolutely cringe.

I hated them looking at photos of me and Cooing and was just embarrassing.

If my Mum had put those photos in our front window, sent them to the local newspaper and the TV station....I think I would have died.

Yet that's the 1970's equivalent of what people do every day now on social media.

If you're ok with making these decisions for your children, I don't see how having their naked bum in the photo makes any difference.

Icelollycraving Fri 23-Nov-12 21:43:10

I think you are getting an unnessarily hard time. Yanbu.

GrumpyCynicalBastard Fri 23-Nov-12 21:43:55

Sometimes one despairs for humanity. This is one such time.

DancingLola Fri 23-Nov-12 21:45:33

I should add, I haven't phoned her up & screamed at her or anything (came on here instead to vent grin ) I showed DH & suggested he ask her to take it down & put up a more suitable one.

KeepCoolCalmAndCollected Fri 23-Nov-12 21:45:43

Think your mil is very naive - would ask her to remove it.

WorraLiberty Fri 23-Nov-12 21:46:15

As far as I know there aren't loads of photos of DS plastered over the World Wide Web... I have a few in an album that is restricted to family/close friends

You know how it works though yes?

Once you put your kid's photo online, they're open for your family and friends to right click and save.

Therefore they are in the public domain.

GreenyEyes Fri 23-Nov-12 21:46:16

You know what, I'm going to say YANBU.

Purely because I think a 5yo does have a right to privacy.

I wish my 5yo valued his privacy. I think all of his schoolmates and most of the teaching staff have seen his tallywhacker mow, and he only started in September <sigh>

GreenyEyes Fri 23-Nov-12 21:47:15

His tallywhacker now I meant. He doesn't mow with it.

DancingLola Fri 23-Nov-12 21:47:30

Midnite - I like the fig leaf idea!

psychomum5 Fri 23-Nov-12 21:49:20

do YOU have an FB account?

if you do, and have pics of your DS, and put them on your wall, then she too is allowed to. He is still her grandson. He is the baby of HER baby. She is proud of him, and wants to show him off. She see's small children in the bath as innocent, which, 99% of us all do.

The hysteria of paedos stalking FB and of naked children never being seen in case we encourage paedos is all just that, hysteria.

I get entirely that you don;t like it. I am not for one minute ridiculing you for your dislike. What I am trying to say is that, for your MIL, she is still of the generation who celebrates innocence and truly thinks that FB is seen just by whom she adds onto her friend list. And they would probably be the ones she shows anyway when they come over for coffee and cake.

if you hate it, then explain. but don;t go in ranting and raving and making out that it is something terrible and dreadful cos, ya know, someone unknown might be stalking.

the stalking ones will go for a pic can be even be fully clothed <gasp>

lovelyladuree Fri 23-Nov-12 21:49:31

There is plenty of material available online for paedophiles, I understand, without them hunting for naked bums on FB.

WorraLiberty Fri 23-Nov-12 21:50:39

Exactly lovely, I just googled 'baby's bum' and there are millions of images.

DancingLola Fri 23-Nov-12 21:51:08

Well yes Worra, I suppose that's true but I don't put up lots of photos, it's more the odd day out/birthday/Xmas pic (and none with his bum out!)

FannyBazaar Fri 23-Nov-12 21:53:37

YANBU her profile picture should be a picture of her and not anyone else. Isn't that actually in the facebook rules?

catgirl1976 Fri 23-Nov-12 21:54:14


DancingLola Fri 23-Nov-12 21:54:52

Yes Psychomum I have a FB account,but as I said earlier in the thread the few photos I've uploaded go into a restricted album,not publicly on my wall so they aren't seen by everyone.

It's not paedo-hysteria, I'm just not happy with the idea of my sons bum being on her profile (no matter how cute it is!)

GrumpyCynicalBastard Fri 23-Nov-12 21:55:48

Exactly lovely, I just googled 'baby's bum' and there are millions of images

Awkward. What are you going to tell the rozzers when they come worra? grin

WorraLiberty Fri 23-Nov-12 21:56:02

But you do put up some photos without your child's permission as he's to young to give it.

You put them out there for people to copy if they see fit and do what they wish with.

If you're happy with that (and you obviously are) then I don't see what the problem is with his bum showing.

What do you think people are going to do with this photo that they couldn't do with the millions of images on Google?

Or is his bum made of chocolate that poops £20 notes?

TysonsMummy Fri 23-Nov-12 21:56:28

bums are not rude ! there are nappy adverts its not a bad thing !

catgirl1976 Fri 23-Nov-12 21:56:56

BTW - under FBs terms, your MIL owns that image of your DCs bottom.

DancingLola Fri 23-Nov-12 21:57:32

Oh,and I'm not sure about her generation (shes in her early 50s) seeing all he innocence,she's always banging on about dodgy looking men & paedos - sadly she's a daily fail reader. That's why I was a bit surprised that shed put it up too!

WorraLiberty Fri 23-Nov-12 21:57:34

Grumpy, we'll sit here saying 'Oohh and Aww' no doubt....they were all very cute and mostly Hallmark card images grin

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Fri 23-Nov-12 21:58:06

Catgirl1976, if you want to give a sarky comment at least spell "their" correctly. And of course, "rend" should be "renders" but you no doubt know that because you are WELL clever!

BookFairy Fri 23-Nov-12 21:58:21

Any photo uploaded onto facebook automatically appears on an external website owned by fb (an IT genius friend showed me). Privacy settings don't mean anything when it comes to it! YANBU to be unhappy that a photo of your child has been uploaded without your permission. Your MIL probably uploaded it thinking "aww how sweet". If you ask her calmly I'm sure she'll oblige smile

mum2threesons Fri 23-Nov-12 22:00:30

YANBU. Ask her to take it off. I would not be happy if it was my child.
Have a chat with her about it.

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