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to be annoyed that we are excluded

(177 Posts)
Flojo1979 Fri 23-Nov-12 18:06:18

Here comes the excuses, so far I've batted them back with good humour but its fading fast.
Been seeing someone on and off for a while, he spends time art mine, with my young kids etc.
Hes off to NEC with his son tomorrow who I havent met.
I just invited myself and DD to go to, as he knows we love motorbikes too.
Cue excuses.
So far we've had 'u know I'm going with DS', to which I replied 'oh sorry for confusion, I meant we all go then u see us and DS, win win, wharves time are u picking me up?' To which he replied 'told u I'm going with DS' to which I replied 'thats fine, can't wait to meet him. What time shall I be ready for' .....
I'm on a hiding to nothing ain't it?
How on earth do I salvage this?

COCKadoodledooo Fri 23-Nov-12 21:52:55

I wouldn't muscle in on a day ds1 has planned with his dad and I'm married to him!

timeforachangebaby Fri 23-Nov-12 21:35:50

I wasn't policing the board, I was pointing out your misinterpretation of the OPs posts, IMO, given that it isn't as easy to play word games with me.

diddl Fri 23-Nov-12 21:06:28

I didn´t think that he cancelled anything did he-just said "can´t do Saturday"

So when someone says that-why would you say-oh it´s OK-we can come with you??

Well, it´s sorted now-but take the hint in future, OP!

He´s allowed to not see you on a Saturday!

NoraGainesborough Fri 23-Nov-12 20:59:54

Anyway OP. Well done for admitting you were wrong.

Have you thought about counseling as you say you have issues in relationships?

Might be worth it. Try not to see everything he does as a slight against you.

NoraGainesborough Fri 23-Nov-12 20:57:02

Yes I am referring to you.

You don't want to follow MNs guidelines and prefer to be passive aggressive? Up to you.

Whats not up to you is to police the boards. As I said my last few posts were as a result of the OP posting comments directed at me.

timeforachangebaby Fri 23-Nov-12 20:53:01

If you are referring to me, I don't believe in reporting, I think posts should stand as we aren't children in a playground.

NoraGainesborough Fri 23-Nov-12 20:51:56

We will have to agree to disagree.

I didn't realise you were the MN police and we were only allowed to respond a set amount of times.

if you look, my last few posts have been direct responses to the OP posting using my name.

If you feel I am acting outside guidelines, report me. HTH

chaya5738 Fri 23-Nov-12 20:50:39

Glad it all worked out in the end, OP.

Enjoy your wine!

timeforachangebaby Fri 23-Nov-12 20:48:07

No she didnt your interpretation of the situation was wrong, IMO, I could see straight away that OP meant he had cancelled their Saturday, not her plans to go to NEC, its just the way you chose to read it.

And why you, because you are the one who is acting like a dog with a bone who doesnt want to let go of it.

Kethryveris Fri 23-Nov-12 20:48:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoraGainesborough Fri 23-Nov-12 20:46:24

Why just me?

Because tbh, as a few posters have said (but you seem to only want pick me up on it) it seems so far fetched.

You keep changing the situations. This is why you have so many problems relating to people.

Yes i do feel you using (and changing to suit you) a stat to show its better to leave a child with a friend than family personally.

If you are going to use stats, expect to have them clarified.

As I said i don't have an issue with you leaving her with him. it was the implication he was stealing her away to meet his family in secret, but wouldn't let you meet them.

timeforachangebaby Fri 23-Nov-12 20:46:18

Flo, if you are ever feeling lonely, there is always adult company to be had on chat.

GhostShip Fri 23-Nov-12 20:45:08

FFS you've come down heavy on Flo, stop the interrogation. She's already accepted she was BA bit U.

timeforachangebaby Fri 23-Nov-12 20:43:35

Nora, give the OP a break!! I am not sure why exactly she has rattled your cage so much.

NoraGainesborough Fri 23-Nov-12 20:41:55

hence why when he cancelled our plans to go NEC did I jump

From your post at 19.36. If you want to check.

He took DD to meet his family a few months back, just not me! And not DS, we are a secret, this from the same post.

See that we are secret?

Flojo1979 Fri 23-Nov-12 20:39:56

Nora I admitted I was pushy and was wrong to push him.
I'm going to leave it here as for some reason u seem to be taking things personally and that's not my intention. I've felt I've always got to be on the defensive with u and that's not nice.
I'm sorry u had a bad experience when younger and I can see why introducing boyfriends to DCs wouldst sit well with u. But I guess that horse as bolted as far as I am concerned.
And yes I do find this thread rather self indulgent! I'm not used to talking about myself quite this much!
It's been nice to talk to other adults for a change. Even if I've been given a pasting!

timeforachangebaby Fri 23-Nov-12 20:36:48

For example, I know of someone who is currently living with a CP social worker and her children - and is on bail for rape and sex with a child. I do not know how that is not a conflict of interest but there you go.

timeforachangebaby Fri 23-Nov-12 20:35:05

CRB checks aren't worth the paper they are written on IMHO and I think provide a false sense of security.

Sadly Nora, that is the highest statistic, male step parents. Sorry that happened to you.

Flojo1979 Fri 23-Nov-12 20:34:24

I didn't say he cancel our plans to go to the NEC. I said (or meant) he cancelled our plans go to the NEC.
I didn't say he took DD and excluded me. I said DD has met them but not me.
Just because I'm not articulate doesn't make me a liar.
As for why haven't I met his son in those 13 yrs, well I did briefly once bump in to him in Asda when he was 9 but that's hardly the same as met him now, as an adult, as someone important to his dad. Also our 13 yr friendship was a group of us down the pub every wkend, not happy families! (until I had DS anyway!)

shinyblackgrape Fri 23-Nov-12 20:32:04

Anyone working in the school will be CRB checked and traceable. Although CRB checks aren't foolproof, they at least give some comfort.

Anyway, I'm bowing out now as we're not going to agree on this

NoraGainesborough Fri 23-Nov-12 20:30:52

Nora I think you'll find most DC who have been abused were abused by a family member.

What the fuck has that got to do with anything? I am fully aware actually since my step father repeatedly raped me. I know loads about it. Note step father.
Its actually not blood relatives. That statsic includes step parents and parents partners. If you want to get technical.

my comment about my kids only staying with my parents was because you said you bet I left my kids with female friends and i don't leave my kids with any relatives. Its just mum, dad (now remarried) and my brother and sil.

you were the one that intimates you boyfriend was more interesed in your dd and took her off. Rather than doing you a favor.

NoraGainesborough Fri 23-Nov-12 20:26:17

I am not talking about drip feeding.

I am talking about the fact that you claimed to have said in your OP that you screwed up. Then 2 minutes later say 'but I think I am right'.

You say you invited yourself to the NEC then said he cancelled your plans to go to the NEC. When there weren't any.
You also said you would have been fine if he had said its was a boys day out. Which he did.

Then you said he want to introduce dd to his family and excluded you. But actually he did a favor for you as you were in a 'bind' so couldn't have gone. So you weren't excluded.

That's not drip feeding. Its changing stories.

Well done for admitting you were wrong and try to be a calmer. Let him decide what he wants to do in regards to his son.

I am wondering how come you have known this man for 13 years, consider him a good friend and you have never met the son he spends loads of time with.

Flojo1979 Fri 23-Nov-12 20:23:36

I trust my friend of 13 yrs and he trusts his sister implicitly, that's good enough for me.
I leave my DC at nursery and school with strangers.
Nora I think you'll find most DC who have been abused were abused by a family member.

Flojo1979 Fri 23-Nov-12 20:20:58

Thanx Flow for all your advice and not telling me I'm a twonk!

flow4 Fri 23-Nov-12 20:19:23

Yay, well done Flojo. smile Credit to you for admitting you messed up, AND for taking advice! smile

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