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To hate 'the wife'?

(89 Posts)
cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 11:29:38

AIBU to have a go at DH because he addressed me as 'the wife' to someone else? I mean did I wake up this morning in the 1980's during an episode of Boon or something? Urgh!

We aused to refer to MiL as The Memsahib.

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 18:35:14

Wiki spouse it says it is for any partners

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 18:34:24

Yes, spouse applies

blueshoes Fri 23-Nov-12 18:12:34

Spouse is only for married partners

YuffieKisaragi Fri 23-Nov-12 18:01:00

I thought spouse was only for married couples, I could be wrong. "Significant other" is also wanky, and long winded. I say my fella or my bloke informally. Might start just referring him as my Mr. Until we get married.

Itsaboatjack Fri 23-Nov-12 17:50:27

I don't really get either how being half of a couple (ie 2) makes you half a person? Surely half of 2 is 1 is it not?

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 17:45:42

Well 'the husband' will be wondering where his dinner is and as I have spent the last our on here I will have to say "in 'the chipshop'" grin

mnistooaddictive Fri 23-Nov-12 17:39:14

DH refers to me as "the wife" and he always referred to a close friend if mine as "my second wife". In front of her and her dh as well. As she got taken by cancer 3 years ago I would love her to still be here to be referred to like that, it was a joke. He is not a chauvinist at all!

Itsaboatjack Fri 23-Nov-12 17:33:02

Oh dear, my dh calls me wifey sometimes. It never occurred to me to be offended blush

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Fri 23-Nov-12 17:30:54

I hate the word "hubby". It makes me want to hit the user!

Bunbaker Fri 23-Nov-12 17:30:42

OH's ex boss used to refer to his wife as "the wife". I asked him whose wife he was referring to.

FeuDeSnowyRussie Fri 23-Nov-12 17:28:32

Hubby is AWFUL. It's just the way it sounds. The words Bupa and hubba and bubba also make me cringe.

grimbletart Fri 23-Nov-12 17:24:49

'utterling' - I've just invented a new word grin

grimbletart Fri 23-Nov-12 17:24:21

The one I really hate is "hubby" - utterling vomit making tweeness. As would be 'wifey' but you don't seem to hear that.

Willabywallaby Fri 23-Nov-12 17:09:38

My mum is not into the Feminist movement but once told me she hates my other half, since she's not a half.

TessCowDirect Fri 23-Nov-12 17:02:17

I don't like. I don't think DH has ever used it.

But if we want to discuss outdated terminology - it's better than 'er indoors

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 16:59:34

Too true

SoupDragon Fri 23-Nov-12 16:56:13

Not all of us need to get a life. He is right that some do though, along with a grip.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Fri 23-Nov-12 16:56:03

My husband refers to me as 'The Boss'. I can live with that grin

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 16:53:10

Anyway, just told dh some of the responses and he said we "all need to get a life". (doesn't take critism well)
At least he might think twice before he calls me "the wife" again. Small steps. I will get respect one day smile

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 16:50:31


ConferencePear Fri 23-Nov-12 16:48:05

I hate the term 'the wife'. Might as well be 'the woman' or 'the book'.
I do refer to my kids as 'the kids', but only in the plural, I wouldn't dream of referring to one of them as 'the son' or 'the daughter'.
I also think we need a new term for adult heterosexuals living together. I don't like OH, but we're too old and have been living together too long to be 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'. 'Partner' could refer to a business arrangement. Any suggestions ?

PetFox Fri 23-Nov-12 15:31:04

I think it all depends how sensitive you are to the possible meanings and origins behind phrases. I dislike "the wife" because I feel like it probably originates in the days when wives were objectified and husbands acted like their wives needed placating or mollifying so that said husband could go out and behave how he pleased, i.e. "I'll just have to run that by the wife first."

Similarly, I dislike "other half" because it makes me think, erm, are you really just half a person now you're in a couple?

And I was very surprised when my mixed-race husband described himself as "half-caste" on a form asking for his ethnicity, because to me that's an insulting term. But he couldn't give a crap about the origins of the term or whether it was perceived by some to be insulting, it was just his way of describing himself.

I'm not saying my way of thinking is particularly rational or helpful, because generally the phrases aren't intended to be derogatory. But I am, like many others, sensitive to these meanings so when I hear terms like "the wife" they grate on me.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Fri 23-Nov-12 15:10:06

How about this one? "The Minister for War and Finance". My BIL calls his wife that and his brother, my husband, thinks it's funny.

Though I notice he never calls me it smile

OneMoreChap Fri 23-Nov-12 15:09:55

I sometimes refer to DW as SWMBO, my honey. The one that offends her is "squeeze" so I don't say that. She wouldn't swear at me though just as I wouldn't swear at her. That would be rude, unpleasant, and show a shameful lack of vocabulary.

I get called the hubby, my man, himself, my sweetie.

I'm really sorry if any of you are offended by the way your partners speak of you. Of course, I'm sorry if they are offended by you, too.

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