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To hate 'the wife'?

(89 Posts)
cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 11:29:38

AIBU to have a go at DH because he addressed me as 'the wife' to someone else? I mean did I wake up this morning in the 1980's during an episode of Boon or something? Urgh!

DreamingOfTheMaldives Fri 23-Nov-12 11:32:37

YA definitely NBU.

I absolutely detest 'the wife!!!' It is so derogatory. My husband knows that he would refer to me as that, on pain of certain death.

Purple2012 Fri 23-Nov-12 11:35:14

I wouldnt be happy to be referred to as 'the wife'. Although my husband does sometimes call me 'the commanding officer' in a jokey way.

PseudoBadger Fri 23-Nov-12 11:36:09

What about 'the missus' grin

PerryCombover Fri 23-Nov-12 11:36:17

I hate all that. Yanbu

NoraGainesborough Fri 23-Nov-12 11:36:27

Yanbu. as its your husband referring to you

However some people don't mind or even like it. I have never got people who hate the phrase when used by someone elses husband.

I also know women that refer to 'him indoors' or 'the husband'.

Startail Fri 23-Nov-12 11:38:10

My Dmother, who has been married almost 50 years would kill my Dfather if he called her that.


Dogsmom Fri 23-Nov-12 11:38:46

I like it (clearly in minority) I couldn't wait to get married and be his wife, there are much worse things to be called.

WorraLiberty Fri 23-Nov-12 11:38:52

Not fussed really

It does make me laugh though if a male poster dares to post that on here

Cue 50+ posts from people moaning about it and totally ignoring whatever problem he was posting about.

BumbleBee2011 Fri 23-Nov-12 11:39:52

My DH calls me 'R Lass when talking to strangers, (he tends to go all "Northern").

Always makes me think of the dog Lassie.

AbigailAdams Fri 23-Nov-12 11:40:55

YANBU. You are not an object, you are a person.

Longtalljosie Fri 23-Nov-12 11:41:49

"My wife" - no problem.
"The wife" - awful. What are you, an inanimate object?

WelshMaenad Fri 23-Nov-12 11:45:09

Doesn't bother me at all. How many of us regularly refer to "the kids"? Different how?

Chandon Fri 23-Nov-12 11:45:32

"the wife" or "the missus" = LTB!

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 11:45:36

I have no problem with 'my wife', although thinking about it does that make me a possession too? hmm
It is just 'the' I object to.
I have asked him several times not to call me that but he has a brain like a doily.

cheekybaubles Fri 23-Nov-12 11:46:25

If I LTB I will be 'the x wife' but at least I won't have to hear it grin

DreamingOfTheMaldives Fri 23-Nov-12 11:50:17

Dogsmum - my wife is fine. I just really hate 'the wife.'

GambasAndCava Fri 23-Nov-12 12:31:02

A friend of mine always refers to her DH as 'the husband' which is unusual and sounds weird, therefore illustrating that 'the wife' is perhaps derogatory.

I always find that men who refer to 'the wife' are usually the ones who also says they are 'getting a pass' when they talk about going out drinking etc without their wives, trying to give the impression that they are unfairly under the thumb and shouldn't be expected to take part in family life etc.

PinsAndNoodles Fri 23-Nov-12 13:06:08

My bugbear is "my/the other half".

My DP says it a lot and it makes me cringe. I hate referring to people just by their status in a couple - bleurgh.

pumpkinsweetie Fri 23-Nov-12 13:11:46

Yanbu-"The Wife" i think, sounds very much like your the property of the man iyswim.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Fri 23-Nov-12 13:15:24

Not bothered by it at all.

samandi Fri 23-Nov-12 13:40:55

Well "the wife" sounds a bit like a functional thing rather than a relation. "The wife" is someone who carries out certain duties (around the home), like perhaps "the receptionist" or "the plumber". It also sounds pretty chavvy.

Mynewmoniker Fri 23-Nov-12 13:46:30

Not as bad as John McKrickric (sp?) calling his wife 'Booby' but I still don't like it and my DH NEVER calls me that.

DH calls me 'the wife' and 'the Mrs', doesn't bother me at all.

Merrycuckingfistmas Fri 23-Nov-12 13:49:39

I get called 'the Mississ' all the time wouldn't mind but were not even married!

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