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Or would be I BU to buy dd1 a kindle fire to ease my guilt?

(66 Posts)
D0oinMeCleanin Fri 23-Nov-12 10:06:37

I have to go away for her 9th birthday. It's non negotiable. I can't be there. I will be home the day after.

Her 'big' present was supposed to a weekend away. We are still doing that, it was the weekend after her birthday.

I've also arranged for her to have a tea party at her Grans on her birthday. She was not meant to have a party owing to the cost of the trip away being far more than we would ordinarily spend on her birthday present.

We have told her she can chose a small gift. She asked for a Kindle Fire hmm

She is getting a lot spent on her Christmas present too (A 3DS XL)

WIBU to buy the Kindle Fire anyway, even though she was not supposed to get a 'big' birthday present because I feel awful about leaving her. She is not expecting it, she knows she can't have one, so it would be a nice surprise for her on her birthday. She does love reading and has wanted a Kindle for years. Ever since they came out.

MainlyMaynie Fri 23-Nov-12 11:25:28

Depends if you can afford it. At nine, I think it's a bit unfair to have a family weekend away as your birthday present if the family can afford weekends away normally. Does she have any present to open from you? I'd definitely get her something, even if it is something small.

Fairenuff Fri 23-Nov-12 11:33:14

she can get the kindle herself, but then they might not be £99 anymore and she might not be able to afford it

I would buy it now whilst it's a good price but not tell her. Put it away until she has saved up for it. Then 'order' it for her and, two days later, hey presto, it's arrived in the post!

She will be just as thrilled to get it then and it will also help her self esteem to know that she saved up for it herself.

But not if you would be tempted to just give it to her.

When my dh got his first job my MIL made him pay towards his keep. She secretly put all the money he gave her in a savings account and gave it back to him when he left home. She didn't need the money but wanted to instill good values in him and he's turned out lovely smile

Startail Fri 23-Nov-12 11:35:58

Also I've looked into kindles for my two and lots of the books 9-15y read are far cheaper as paper multipacks from the book people or on Smiths and Waterstones BOGOF and 342 offers.

We used to iBook hardbacks we real couldn't wait for, but bloody JW and horrible hunger games are all cheaper on paper.

Because I've been given a kindle fire, DDs can now run the kindle ap on their IPods and share.

DumSpiroSpero Fri 23-Nov-12 11:39:25

I would buy it now whilst it's a good price but not tell her. Put it away until she has saved up for it. Then 'order' it for her and, two days later, hey presto, it's arrived in the post!

Actually that was what we did with the DSi as we saw an offer just after her birthday but she had to save some pocket money as well!

diddl Fri 23-Nov-12 12:37:34

I can´t help thinking no wonder people are so entitled when I read stuff like this.

A weekend away with the family isn´t a real present-even if it´s where she wants to go & she should get a present to open as well??!!

Perhaps she have vpochers, perhaps a relative can get it?

She´s 9 & it´s a 100GBP bit of kit that she do without for the moment!

SoupDragon Fri 23-Nov-12 13:55:33

You would have to buy the £109 version to avoid special offers/adverts being displayed.

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 23-Nov-12 14:31:03

Special offers? Do you mean like in app purchases? She plays apps on my phone that have those, she knows not to buy them. She's quite savvy. You can password any in-app buying. She has my password but knows not to buy anything without checking with me first.

The only thing she has ever asked for is a golden eagle on angry birds and a virtual puppy.

I'm going to order her one on the offer. Give her the £50 she was originally offered in cash and tell her she can sell her ds lite to make up the extra if she still wants the kindle. That way she's not actually getting more than she would have been getting anyway.

Whoever pointed out that she was taking the piss when she asked for the kindle as a small gift, she didn't know how much they were when she asked. She saw them advertised on the TV and then came to ask me how much they were. She knew she had a budget of £50, so left it there but has already wrote next year's birthday wish list and of course a kindle fire is top of the list. She hasn't decided what to get with the £50 yet.

Floralnomad Fri 23-Nov-12 14:37:20

Don't buy it because you feel guilty . Buy it because you can afford it and want to get her what she wants for her birthday. And to those posters who have said don't buy it because you asked her to pick a small present please remember she is only 8 and maybe to her that would be a small present . We don't know the OPs circumstances , my children would class it as a small present because a big present would be a computer or a car , everyone is different.

seeker Fri 23-Nov-12 14:45:31

Sorry- but I would say absolutely "no".

You agreed about the weekend, and said she could have a small present too. A 9 year old is quite aware of what a small present is, and a kindle fire is not a small present.

So no. Stick to the plans you made.

quirrelquarrel Fri 23-Nov-12 17:16:54

We don't know the OPs circumstances , my children would class it as a small present because a big present would be a computer or a car , everyone is different.

If it is a small present to her, would that situation really be ideal! I'd want all the more to downsize her expectations by not getting her one if that were the case.....

Mrsjay Fri 23-Nov-12 17:20:53

well if she doesnt realise a Kindle is a small present then maybe she is too young for 1 , I know you are just going to give her it anyway and of course it really is up to you , I just think you are trying to make up for something that you can't avoid what are you going to do when you are working I can imagine your hours of work will be antisocial as you need to fit round clients etc , I dont understand lets buy a kids something cos i feel guilty It really baffles me ,

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 23-Nov-12 17:27:20

She knows gadgets are expensive. She also knows that I am friends with the man in local second hand shop and can get her a DS Lite for less than £50. She did not know the Kindle Fire was very new. She thought she might be able to find one for £50. When she was told she couldn't she didn't push the matter, she just said she would get one next year.

I want to buy her one because she wants one and I want her to be happy, especially since I am leaving her on her birthday for the first time ever.

I've spoken to her about it and she is willing to sell her DS Lite and a few games to go towards the cost of one, so we will only be paying the original £50 she was offered. She is going to buy a few books with the birthday money she gets but has asked if I could loan her the amount and put the books on before I go away, so it is set up and ready to use when she gets it on her birthday.

rhondajean Fri 23-Nov-12 17:35:14

Just to reassure Thr poster up there who is worried the DS will never be played with when the iPad appears.

My 13 year old (iPad iPod touch and access to several laptops) has spent Thr last two days trying to find a DS charger and eventually borrowing one from her friend because her sister has lost hers and she wanted to play Pokemon.

The iPad is probably her favourite, but even with all kinds of technology the DS is an old and trustd favourite.

And dooin, the only things that matter here are - can you afford it? -do you want her to have it? And will she look after it? Not really our opinions.

Floralnomad Fri 23-Nov-12 17:36:38

quirrell why should she downsize her expectations , if you can afford it what's the problem . My children always have lots spent on them but they don't ask for stuff all the time and aren't at all entitled. If I didn't have the money to spend they would be just as happy with something cheaper . Infact this year we are really struggling with Christmas and my DD has got a book , a cd and 3 DVDs on her list and that's it.

VoterColonelSebastianDoyle Fri 23-Nov-12 17:38:32

If you can afford it buy it her grin you only live once!

Mrsjay Fri 23-Nov-12 17:49:59

Just what rhonda said we can all waffle on and give out opinions but it really is up to you smile

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