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Feeling sorry for myself

(7 Posts)
Bettyintheburbs Thu 22-Nov-12 22:15:08

I had mirena removed two days ago. My DP is in the army, and currently lives an hour's drive away. He spends weekends with me and visits me sometimes once during the week, usually if he's over this way with work. Immediately after it was taken out, I drove, with toddler, 90 mins on motorway to be with him at official function, had to call to ask him to let in babysitter as was delayed due to TMI alert strings being too short and mirena being stuck. Evening out went well, but toddler was unsettled and spent rare night in our bed. During last two days at home, fridge has packed up and car also, so not the best days. This morning have had very heavy bleed (am already anaemic), and bled heavily all day. I work, from home, about 30 hours a week, look after the toddler for four week days and all weekend (he reads and plays but doesn't do 'care' e.g. bath, change nappies) so I have been feeling run down and sad recently. Now, today I emailed him at work (no phones allowed) to say I felt unwell. I've never done that before. I asked him to call when he got in, and he replied, saying sorry you don't feel well, will be on the mobile from 6pm. He called me at 8pm, for five mins, was quite brusque and told me to rest. I'm still having really horrible cramps and heavy bleeding but am feeling pi**ed off that he didn't drive over to see me tonight. He has had work related social functions every night, including a leaving dinner last night for someone, so is probably tired too, but I just know if it was him who was unwell and without a fridge, I'd be there. To top it all. I spent the afternoon doing all his laundry, while thinking 'why I am doing this'? Mirena crash or am I justified in thinking he should have come over?

mummydarkling Thu 22-Nov-12 22:29:56

YANBU you have had a very bad day.....brew have a cuppa and hope you feel better tomorrow.

Bettyintheburbs Thu 22-Nov-12 22:33:49

Thanks babe, I've just been feeling so alone with this. Had it taken out because of horrible cramps last weekend, felt very faint, he was with me then, and guess the stress of not living together properly is just biting harder than usual.

PomBearWithAnOFRS Thu 22-Nov-12 22:39:03

He probably just doesn't "get" how low you feel just now. Unless you specifically say "OI! get your arse here and hug me NOW you git" it won't register I bet confused
Have you got some painkillers and a hot water bottle? Get yourself tucked up in bed nice and warm, and try to get some sleep and hopefully the cramps will ease off soon.
If they don't, maybe get in to see the doctor just to check your anaemia isn't getting worse and see if they will prescribe (and I forgot the brand name) mefenamic (sp??) acid, or buy some in Boots even, to help get the bleeding under control.
<<gentle unMNetty hug>> take it as easy as you can (hollow laugh with small child in house!) and look after yourself

Bettyintheburbs Thu 22-Nov-12 22:43:20

Bless you PomBear, especially for the hug, much needed. You're right, he probably doesn't get it. Am rubbish at asking for help, keep thinking he should just 'get' it. Thanks for the support.

KeepYerTitsIn Thu 22-Nov-12 23:06:53

Poor you, sounds rotten and you absolutely need some TLC, in the absence of DP you'll have to provide it for yourself. So, as above, a hottie and bed. Before you get in, have you any codeine based painkillers? If not, 2 paracetamol, alternating 2 hourly with 2 or even 3 ibuprofen (my recipe for getting through shitty endo periods). Then doc tomorrow if possible to get checked and painkiller prescription, and maybe some tranexamic acid? All will be well. I'd be cross too with DP but sounds like he's just caught up with his own stuff and needs a gentle prod and pointing out that support is sometimes needed for the most stoic of us. Take things as easy as possible, sofa day tomorrow if you can, and fuck work off and lots of cbeebies for toddler.

Bettyintheburbs Thu 22-Nov-12 23:16:04

Thanks keepyertitsin. I've taken some codeine and paracetamol things; very nice. Will pop a couple of ibuprofen before trying to get to sleep. DP has a lot on his mind at the moment but a gentle prod probably doesn't do any harm. Thanks for the good ideas. Am going to curl up and try to get some zzzzs. As for tomorrow: no sofa, no TV and work for myself so badly need the money tomorrow. May need to work on making home a bit snugglier and am coming round to the idea of a TV. Gorgeous toddler but full on.

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