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to let my five year old still sleep in my bed, or are the 'eyebrow raisers' BU?

(214 Posts)
mummytowillow Thu 22-Nov-12 21:16:55

There are just the two of us in our house, my daughter is five and loves sleeping in my bed.

She went through a stage where she went to sleep in my bed and stayed there all night. I've managed to get her to go to sleep in her bed, but by about 1am she's sneaked into my bed. Sometimes I notice, sometimes I just wake in the morning and she's there!

To be honest, I quite like it, were very close and rarely spend time away from each other apart from work and school. I have a king size bed so no space issues and she doesn't wriggle and sleeps all night.

BUT people who find this out raise their eyebrows and say its not normal?

My mum is very vocal about it, thinks it wrong, she'll get used to it, she's not a baby blah blah blah. I'm single, no boyfriends so that's not a problem, so who is being unreasonable, me, her or the 'eyebrow raisers'.

And if I need to get her out of the habit, how on earth do I do it. Its just easy to let her get in when its 1am, cold and I'm cosy and warm! wink

lightrain Thu 22-Nov-12 21:33:32

All of you saying its lovely must have huge beds. If my DS is in with me and DH none of us get any sleep for kicking, tossing and turning, etc.!

Nivet Thu 22-Nov-12 21:34:10

I still regularly slept in my Mum's bed until I was about thirteen. She was an amazing Mum and we were very close.

Sod the eyebrow raisers, do what works for you.

pinkyp Thu 22-Nov-12 21:34:47

Yanbu... Before I had kids I would of thought no way. Now I don't see anything wrong with it.

sleeplessinderbyshire Thu 22-Nov-12 21:35:23

she'll grow out of it soon enough. Really if you are not bothered by it just stop discussing sleep with anyone outside your household. I am driven mad by my DD1 who wakes and wants to come in woth us but insists I go and get her and bring her in and won't just come in qquietly and go back to sleep. DH is away tonight and I really won't mind if she snuggles in with me (she tends to wriggle and kick DH if he's here too but we do have a superkingsized bed so I can manage me, DH, DD1 and still ahve space to sidelie to feed DD2 in the night.The only downside to cosleeping is if they wet your bed rather than theirs grin

akaemmafrost Thu 22-Nov-12 21:36:15

Ds is 9 and quite often comes and gets into bed with me.

He slept with every night till he was 6 and then with gentle encouragement started sleeping in his own bed.

Nothing at all wrong with it.

JugglingWithPossibilities Thu 22-Nov-12 21:36:19

I was still breast-feeding DS till his sixth birthday, DD tlll 4.6 yrs. Lots of lovely co-sleeping with them both too.

Sometimes I encountered some eye-brow raising too, but generally people didn't know particularly - why would they ?

DS (11) still brilliant at hugs and couldn't be doing better at school, socially, by any measure you care to use.

DD (13) completely ab fab too smile

Both the best of friends with each other too

Enjoy ! Take no notice !
You're doing now't wrong smile

maxybrown Thu 22-Nov-12 21:36:32

Funny, if we all lived in a cave no one would think anything of it - the "pack" would sleep together.

We have one DS, (age 5) he still sleeps with us - but got fed up of being squashed in the bed so he has his mattress on the floor next to ours - I don't give 2 hoots what anyone thinks, it means we all sleep, hoorah. Am wondering if my friend will see this now and it will out me grin but she also has sleep issues in her house and doesn't care either!

Jaffacakeeater Thu 22-Nov-12 21:38:32

I am quite envious too. Your arrangement sounds perfect. I get the impression you have a wonderful relationship and are both happy. I would gladly swap DH as a sleeping mate and have my gorgeous DCs instead.

EggNogRules Thu 22-Nov-12 21:38:36

I agree with Poppadom, I'm quite envy with envy.

My DS has never liked getting into bed with us. We are too hot (sniff).

In a blue moon on holidays, we do have a wee nap together ( he kicks the shoite out of me). I love it.

Every family should do what gets it the most sleep.

StaceeJaxx Thu 22-Nov-12 21:38:50

Aw, bless. I miss sleeping with my 2 now they're 9 and 6. DD1 co-slept on and off until she was almost 7, don't worry about what other people say enjoy it while it lasts.

marriedinwhite Thu 22-Nov-12 21:39:53

Juggling I shall think of you as "Jugs" forever more now grin

HappyAsASandboy Thu 22-Nov-12 21:40:05

I love cosleeping smile We have a kingsized bed with a single pushed up alongside so that me, DH and our two year old twins can all fit in without too much squashing smile

Agree with others - either don't discuss sleeping habits or stop caring what others think of what happens in your bed wink

Floggingmolly Thu 22-Nov-12 21:41:01

My kids are 11, 8 and 5. I've had at least one of them in the bed for the last 11 years, and I doubt it'll stop anytime soon.

Fishandjam Thu 22-Nov-12 21:41:04

Sounds fine to me. (I slept in my mum's bed for many months after my dad died - I was 10. Not the same situation as you I guess, but it was a comfort to both of us.)

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 22-Nov-12 21:41:26

Bah silly people, nothing wrong with it at all providing they are provided with there own sleep areas and are choosing not to use them.

Ime they tend to stop it themselves at about 8/9 ish

It would be an issue if she was not your child or

You had a adult person in your bed who was not the other parent or

She had nowhere else to sleep

Or she didnt want to.

Start worrying when you find your 19 yo fast a kip in your bathtub complete with duvet and pillows and she actually lives in her own house but no booze is involved. Now that's really weird

hellymelly Thu 22-Nov-12 21:42:04

My dd who is also 5 sleeps next to me. So does her sister who is 7. Poor DH would like to be snuggled next to me too but instead he is invariably shunted onto the single bed added onto the side to make room for all of us. It is the same height so essentially makes a huge bed, which looks ugly in the bedroom but is comfortable for all of us to fit on. I think DD1 may start sleeping in her own bed in the next year or two, mainly because her friends do, but it will feel sad, her all alone and the three others snug together. Perhaps they will both move out together. I'm leaving it up to them. I miss the peace of just lying next to my DH, but I also love the intimacy of my children safe and sound next to me.Certainly they won't be there as teenagers. I think its natural for you and your dd to want to sleep together. Where is the sense in you all alone in your kingsize and her in another room in a little bed? Much nicer to be warm and asleep together, and lovely memories for her when she grows up.

Wallison Thu 22-Nov-12 21:43:06

Gosh I am pleased/relieved to see so many parents on here whose children share their bed. Maybe there are actually loads of us and we're just not talking about it?!

QuanticoVirginia Thu 22-Nov-12 21:43:57

My 8 year old does this. It's quite sweet and I don't mind when it's just me and him but I over heat and become very crushed when there's the three of us.

In that case I usually have to get out of my bed and go into his.

Glittertwins Thu 22-Nov-12 21:44:54

Our two like sleeping with me when DH is away. Their favourite trick is to have our tv on whilst in our bed and they generally fall asleep within 20 mins.
The problem is that DS hurls himself around the bed in his sleep whereas DD and I barely move and we tend to get walloped. I usually carry him back down to their room and dump him up into his bunk bed which is entertaining as he's in the top bunk. Add two cats to the mix as well and it can get crowded when DH is away!

EnjoyResponsibly Thu 22-Nov-12 21:45:33

I don't care what people think.

If we all get a good nights sleep and a small child cuddle thrown in who the hell cares.

Kalisi Thu 22-Nov-12 21:45:42

My DS is only 16 months but he still wakes in the night to be brought in with us. We are trying to gently get him out the habit as the kid's a little radiator but I'm not worried about the 'bad habits' bullshit.
I crept in with my parents every so often right up to about 13. In fact I vividly remember when our family dog was put down and I went in for my last ever cuddle totally distraught aged 17. I have such a wonderful relationship with my parents still.

TrinityRhino Thu 22-Nov-12 21:46:11

Ignore your mum and any eyebrow raisers.

No longer discuss it

And enjoy smile

I co slept with all of mine
It's lovely

Gecko the longest but that's cause she is the least wriggly grin

MysteriousNameChange Thu 22-Nov-12 21:49:39

I love it. smile My 2 year old is lovely and snuggly and only sticks a foot in my ear on occasion.

Notcontent Thu 22-Nov-12 21:50:44

There is absolutely nothing wrong with it if everyone is happy and getting a good night's sleep.
In the past, it used to be quite normal for families to share a bed.

HSMM Thu 22-Nov-12 21:50:58

13 yr old DD comes in with me if DH is away.

Make the most of it and ignore everyone else.

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