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to let my five year old still sleep in my bed, or are the 'eyebrow raisers' BU?

(214 Posts)
mummytowillow Thu 22-Nov-12 21:16:55

There are just the two of us in our house, my daughter is five and loves sleeping in my bed.

She went through a stage where she went to sleep in my bed and stayed there all night. I've managed to get her to go to sleep in her bed, but by about 1am she's sneaked into my bed. Sometimes I notice, sometimes I just wake in the morning and she's there!

To be honest, I quite like it, were very close and rarely spend time away from each other apart from work and school. I have a king size bed so no space issues and she doesn't wriggle and sleeps all night.

BUT people who find this out raise their eyebrows and say its not normal?

My mum is very vocal about it, thinks it wrong, she'll get used to it, she's not a baby blah blah blah. I'm single, no boyfriends so that's not a problem, so who is being unreasonable, me, her or the 'eyebrow raisers'.

And if I need to get her out of the habit, how on earth do I do it. Its just easy to let her get in when its 1am, cold and I'm cosy and warm! wink

GwendolineMaryLacey Thu 22-Nov-12 21:18:46

My 4.10yo sleeps in with me and has never spent a night in her own bed. So now DH sleeps in her bed and I share with DD1 and 10 month old DD2. Super kingsize bed so no space issues in theory. She has absolutely no intention of moving. I've given up thinking about it.

GiraffesRUs Thu 22-Nov-12 21:21:56

My 5 year old climbs in bed in the early hours every night which we've got used to. She won't be doing it forever so enjoy the cuddles while you can.

AlwaysHoldingOnToStarbug Thu 22-Nov-12 21:23:51

I quite often wake up to find DS5 (he's 5 too) snuggled up in bed with me and DH. It doesn't bother me, though he kicks DH sometimes.

I find the best thing is to not ever discuss sleeping arrangements with anyone.

And as for getting her out of the habit, well, none of my others get in with us, so they do stop one day.

plantsitter Thu 22-Nov-12 21:24:12

DD is nearly 4 and often gets in our bed in the night. Sometimes if she hasn't got in she tells me that she came into our room but we weren't in bed yet!

It is much easier to let her come in. And it is lovely and cuddly and warm. If you put her back she will generally stay in her own bed but I can seldom be arsed. I wouldn't worry until you get a new boyfriend.

devonsmummy Thu 22-Nov-12 21:24:27

My DS (6yrs) & dd (3yrs) have bunkbeds
& I have the pull out one underneath.

In fact DS sleeps on my pullout bed & dd & I squeeze in the bottom bunk.
I used to get in the top bunk but would be woken 3-4 times a night by one or the other calling for me.
Rather than struggle out of the top bunk in pitch black , I gave up & let them sleep how they do best!

Haberdashery Thu 22-Nov-12 21:25:27

My SIX year old still gets in with us in the night. It's a big bed, she lies neatly in the middle and doesn't wriggle or wake us up too early and, you know what, I don't care! Quite honestly, anything that means I get to sleep the whole night through is just fine by me.

A five year old isn't a baby, true. But a five year old is still very little. I don't see, if it's not bothering you, what's wrong with it. And DD and me are very close, too. I like rolling over in the night and finding a little warm cuddly person next to me. And when we wake up in the morning, the first thing she says is 'I love you, mummy' which is, quite frankly, a lovely thing to wake up to. Also, in a few years, she won't want to get in with me, I expect. I am enjoying the cuddles while they are still on offer!

UnnamedFemaleProtagonist Thu 22-Nov-12 21:25:32

I cosleep with DS1 who is 6 in a couple of weeks. 3 year old DS2 is in a travel cot next to my bed. DD (10) is in her own bed.

CremeEggThief Thu 22-Nov-12 21:26:01

My 10 year old DS spends the occasional night in with me!


FrillyMilly Thu 22-Nov-12 21:26:27

I do have a DH and I co sleep with 10 months old DS and 4 year old Dd. DH has been relegated to spare room. It all started when co sleeping with DS who is a terrible sleeper. She got wise and joined in. I'm sure it will end one day but for now I enjoy it. Although two little people do take up a lot of room!

Haberdashery Thu 22-Nov-12 21:26:44

>> I find the best thing is to not ever discuss sleeping arrangements with anyone.

Hear hear!

HipHopOpotomus Thu 22-Nov-12 21:27:14

YANBU - it's one of the loveliest parts of being a parent I reckon smile

catsanddogs Thu 22-Nov-12 21:27:20

I agree, it's best not to discuss your sleeping arrangements with anyone. DD1 slept in our bed until she was 9, and dd2 is now in with us, she is 3. It's lovely for everyone involved!

ISeeThreadPeople Thu 22-Nov-12 21:27:21

DD sleeps in with me when DH is away on a course which is about every 3 months or so. She is also 5. She sometimes comes through and asks to get in with us when we're all there too (14mo is still cosleeping). She is happy to go back to her own bed if you suggest you need the space. Won't last forever. Can't see the problem tbh.

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 22-Nov-12 21:27:28

My 5yr old ds sneaks into bed most nights. Both my 5yr old and my almost 7 yr old get in every morning. LP here to.

eatssleepsfeeds Thu 22-Nov-12 21:28:10

Enjoy the cuddles. No reason to even think twice. The little love won't be there forever. X

timeforachangebaby Thu 22-Nov-12 21:28:59

I cant see a problem

AThingInYourLife Thu 22-Nov-12 21:29:59

"she'll get used to it"

Presumably she is used to it at 5 years of age.

And how lovely for her.

I really can't see why anyone would care other than for a wistful "awww".

Viviennemary Thu 22-Nov-12 21:31:06

Well if you don't mind and she feels secure then fine. I totally do not sleep a wink with a child tossing and turning all night long in bed. I had a foot in my ear once.

CMOTDibbler Thu 22-Nov-12 21:31:27

Ds is 6, and fairly often joins us in our bed. Neither dh or I mind, and tbh rather like sharing the bed with him if the other adult is away as he's so snuggly and cuddly

marriedinwhite Thu 22-Nov-12 21:32:09

We used to wake up and find one or both of ours in the middle some mornings and be oblivious as to how they got there - probably stopped when DS was about 6(ish).

DH is away now for nearly a week on business. DD will be cuddling up and snuggling down with me until he comes home. I sleep much better with another lump in the bed and we will giggle and snort a bit and watch a bit of rubbish telly. >>whispers<< DD's 14 and a half grin and it's a treat for both of us.

bedmonster Thu 22-Nov-12 21:32:17

I still get into my Mums bed if I pop round on a Sunday morning and she's still in bed, her DH brings us up a drink and we watch a bit of telly - i'm 28!! grin

PoppadomPreach Thu 22-Nov-12 21:32:30

I'm a little bit envious! We don't co sleep, but on the odd occasion I have to go through to our dc room and snuggle in with one of them to soothe them, I love it!

ToffeeCaramel Thu 22-Nov-12 21:33:14

YANBU absolutely nothing wrong with what you are doing. Most of the world has done it throughout history. I'd probably not tell people so they can't be judgy. I think it's always best that they do have their own bed that they could sleep in if they wanted to so that they can show pals their bedroom when they invite people back.

Littlegreenbear Thu 22-Nov-12 21:33:29

my dd always ends up in our bed...she's only 16 months but i have alot of people says its a bad habit to get into..blaa blaa....

well i love it and so does dh. nothing wrong with it at all and anything for a good nights sleep. before we know it thet'll grow out of it so we enjoy the cuddles while we can.

i wouldn't worry about it and to me its so normal for a child to want to be close to mummy

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