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to think my friend is being harsh on her DH?

(13 Posts)
Joanne1982uk Thu 22-Nov-12 17:14:52

i was talking to an old friend recently having a good catch up we were talking about our DP's etc

she was saying she doesnt want her DH go out drinking with his friends.

they are both 30 and have a 5 year old DD. He likes to go out some friday nights with his friends or on a sunday to watch the football. I was a bit shocked at this so asked more about it. She says he should of grown out of that by now and should be at home with her.

I asked if he stops her from going out and she said no but shes not interested at all. When hes at home she says he is a great dad and she trusts that he wouldnt cheat or anything when he is out she just doesnt like him going out when he could be at home with her.

Oh yeah they do go out together for meals and stuff and he doesnt go out and get blind drunk or anything just a few drinks

Is it just me or is that a bit harsh?

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 22-Nov-12 17:17:08

Don't think you know what the inside of her marriage looks like. I know a few marriages where the 'poor' DH had a 'nagging' wife who stopped him having fun. Years and divorces later it turns out the twunt of a DH wasn't parenting, having hangovers instead, DW never got to go out, he was misbehaving, smoking/drinking too much/drugs/strippers.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Thu 22-Nov-12 17:21:16

It's harsh. I would hate to be with someone that thought I should have grown out of spending time with friends by age 30.

AThingInYourLife Thu 22-Nov-12 17:25:16

It sounds a very boring life for both of them.

HeathRobinson Thu 22-Nov-12 17:25:23

So possibly leaving your friend looking after dd on Saturday mornings because he's tired/hungover and Sunday mornings because of the football.

Everlong Thu 22-Nov-12 17:26:22

If she's just stopping him ' for the hell of it ' then that seems wrong.

Nobody has the right to stop anybody doing something like going out.

GraceOfWrath Thu 22-Nov-12 17:26:35

Firstly I don't think it's any of your business! Secondly, I wouldn't be happy if dh wanted to go out and watch the football on Sunday a lot. Weekends are 100% family time for us, seeing friends, family, going swimming/walking etc. Dh works long hours and we like to make the most of our time together with the dc.
That's not to say either of us couldn't do something at a weekend if we wanted to but all our friends are also spending time with their families so the opportunity rarely arises.

Joanne1982uk Thu 22-Nov-12 17:27:16

she did say they were very happy and was a good dad and that he didnt get really drunk or anything. She just doesnt want him to have a social life.

I find that very strange.

Joanne1982uk Thu 22-Nov-12 17:31:03

Grace it may not be any of my business im not gonna fall out with her or tell her shes wrong. Im just trying to see other peoples opinions on this.

I didnt explain it well in my OP he doesnt go out friday and sunday it would be one or the other

katiecubs Thu 22-Nov-12 17:31:37

It's harsh if its an occasional thing for him. Going out every week would be a bit much.

She sounds like a boring cow tbh. It 's important to keep you own friends.

Everlong Thu 22-Nov-12 17:32:05

But if he's not bothered then what's the problem.

My dh never goes out, I do quite a lot. He just doesn't want to <shrug>

BelaLugosisShed Thu 22-Nov-12 18:17:47

I wouldn't want my DH going out regularly without me either, married nigh on 30 years, I've always been the same.

"It's important to keep your own friends" No, what you mean is it's important to you , not everyone feels that way.

ConfusedKiwi Thu 22-Nov-12 19:55:58

Some people are happier not going out separately however I actually quite enjoy my DH going out with his mates (means once ds in bed I can surf/watch girly films/read without having to try and entertain DH who is very extroverted and likes a lot of attention).

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