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To not sleep in bed with dh

(13 Posts)
apachepony Wed 21-Nov-12 08:31:00

Dh is getting upset that we are sleeping apart so frequently. I am 32 weeks pregnant and sleeping v lightly. Love having bed to myself. He snores like a train, and I can't seem to settle with him in bed. He also drinks most nights which worsens the snoring. Aibu?

dreamingofsun Wed 21-Nov-12 08:45:27

if i was a medical person would find a cure for snoring. we normally sleep apart - in fact its impossible to sleep with my husband. its a shame, but i can't cope with constant sleep depravation and he won't do anything to improve things.

tell him - if he wants to sleep together to stop snoring. maybe possible by cutting out the drink.

QuietNinjaTardis Wed 21-Nov-12 08:48:04

Towards the end of my pregnancy we slept in different beds. I was huge and very uncomfortable and slept badly so yanbu. I'd love to sleep in different beds now as I'm a terrible sleeper but dh wouldn't go for it.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Wed 21-Nov-12 08:48:32

YANBU. Tell him to stop drinking.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Wed 21-Nov-12 08:48:59

And see the GP about his snoring.

BadgerFace Wed 21-Nov-12 08:52:18

He is being VU to get upset when he is not doing anything to try and lessen the snoring like stopping drinking!

I often sleep in the spare room because lack of sleep is awful. And my DH only breathes heavily rather than snores but it's enough to disturb me. I can see it becoming more frequent as I get further through my pregnancy (am currently 31 weeks) but to be honest I've always made good use of the spare room!

If he is serious that it upsets him then ask him to try the nasal strips, stop drinking every day, anything else which might help...

CailinDana Wed 21-Nov-12 08:52:36

Your DH is very mean to expect you to sleep in the same bed when it is so disruptive to your sleep.

warriorwoman Wed 21-Nov-12 09:02:33

I am hearing of more people sleeping in separate rooms. We have been for last few years, started with a day or two, then every other day, now it's every day. Dh snores very loudly, he drinks & smokes. When he moans about it I tell him that he isn't doing anything to help & I don't feel bad about it. Too many years of sleep deprivation...

I do miss waking up together & having someone to snuggle up to sometimes. If he stopped snoring I would go back to sleeping with him, but would have days when I would want my own space in bed & so would sleep on my own.
I think YANBU, but think about how you can still have that closeness sometimes.

Wilding Wed 21-Nov-12 09:03:20

If he won't give up drinking he's only got himself to blame. My ex was a terrible snorer but was very accepting of the fact that I therefore didn't want to share a bed with him most of the time!

TrudiRed Wed 21-Nov-12 09:32:31

My dh and I have rarely slept in the same bed for the last 8 years (since first child came along). We frequently slept separately before that too which I hated at the time but now really don't mind as long as everyone sleeps! We've had 3 children so no worries on the intimacy side of things either. I don't get a bed to myself though as I slept with DD1 for years and now share half the night with dd2 (ds in between is a good sleeper thankfully). It doesn't matter to us where we sleep any more as long as we do. Whatever the reason, and a snoring dh and late pregnancy are very good reasons, if it works for you then do it and don't worry about what anyone else says.

Bunbaker Wed 21-Nov-12 09:39:26

Can you record his snoring one night and play it back to him? Re the drinking - is he able to keep off the sauce the nearer you get to your due date?

Softlysoftly Wed 21-Nov-12 09:39:36

DH has been in the spare since I was about 8 months, I'm now in our room with the 3yr old and 6month old, I want the spare sad

I'd be worried about the drinking every night. Is that going to continue after the baby comes? You'll be doing every night alone if it does like me

apachepony Wed 21-Nov-12 10:24:18

Doubt he will stop drinking. He does move when I insist during the night, but it is making us grumpy and I guess I do worry about the eventual effect on our relationship.

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