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To say no??

(12 Posts)
BaneOfMyLife Tue 20-Nov-12 17:35:37

My brothers asked me to mind his DS overnight on saturday, he's only 4 months old.

I have 4 kids of my own here under 9.

My brothers minded my kids a few times lately but its been during school hours so its only the younger 2 and at most for 3 hours when I couldn't sort anything else out.

He wants me to have his DS overnight so he can go to his girlfriends parents house overnight and 'chill', he wont be able to with the little one there (hes taking his older daughter,6)

I have had the baby overnight before but TBH it was hard work with 4 of my own and I didn't sleep well worrying as hes so small.

I have no real reason to say no but don't know, if I'm going to be brutally truthful, if I can be bothered with the extra work at the moment, my kids are being particually challenging at the moment and I've been finding it quite hard.

I did say yes when he asked, so i will be changing my mind ... my husband isn't too happy about it either.

ifso Tue 20-Nov-12 17:38:42


what, did he think having kids he could just dump them on you, who already has a busy household and all that involves?

he's sounding very selfish here, like his 2nd baby has been such hard work and he just has to have this overnight chill out thing.

eugh. maybe, forgive me, but perhaps one of your DC will be feeling a bit vomity nearer the time so you'll have to stay at home to nurse them...

pjmama Tue 20-Nov-12 17:40:15

You could say no, but might find him refusing next time you want him to babysit for you. If you want a reciprocal arrangement, I'd probably do it providing he's not asking too often or taking the piss. I can understand wanting an occasional night off.

Spatsky Tue 20-Nov-12 17:40:18

You are totally within your rights to say no, of course.

I would do it personally though, even if you only do it to bag some criedit toward solme future babysitting for yourself.

I would love to have a sibling that could help me out so would hapilly help them out - but that is coming from my angle of being a tad jealous that I don't have anyone for all that.

missymoomoomee Tue 20-Nov-12 17:41:28

I'm on the fence a bit with this. If he was going for a night out or to an event then YWBU to change your mind, but he is only going to 'chill'. I do think it would be bad form to back out after saying yes already but I get your reasoning and think he is a wee bit cheeky to ask <helpful>

BaneOfMyLife Tue 20-Nov-12 17:45:00

I wouldn't mind having him for a few hours, in fact for a while we had him for 2 hours 3 times a week!

But its just the overnight thing, whilst all 4 of mine are here (we used to have him during the day and it was less noisy)

MaxPepsi Tue 20-Nov-12 17:45:48

Won't the grandparents want to see their grandson and if he's going with the mother of his child surely she can look after him also confused

I'd still do it though, but then I've always had MUG written across my forehead when it comes to my brothers children!

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 20-Nov-12 17:48:53

I think it's a big ask, particularly if the baby wakes in the night.
I don't think I'd ask it of someone with 4 children, so YANBU to be not keen.

But you've said yes now, so I think you have to do it.

As an aside, I never say yes to anything like this straightaway unless I am 100% sure I'm happy to do it. I always say I'll think about it. That way you never let anyone down and you never feel resentful

susiedaisy Tue 20-Nov-12 17:50:36

Normally I would say YANBU and your db needs to suck it up and get on with it, however I suffered from really bad baby blues and needed alot of support after both my dc were born so I would be just curious as to how your db's partner is coping, perhaps its more for her?

WhereYouLeftIt Tue 20-Nov-12 18:13:24

"He wants me to have his DS overnight so he can go to his girlfriends parents house overnight and 'chill', he wont be able to with the little one there (hes taking his older daughter,6)"
Is the baby not his girlfriends' too? Won't the grandparents be disapointed not to see the baby? confused

ll31 Tue 20-Nov-12 18:16:10

think yabu, given that he's done you favours, also he's your brother,,, so as you obv get on I'd do it

Whoknowswhocares Tue 20-Nov-12 18:21:42

He has helped you out several times when you had no one else to call on. You owe him a return favour

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