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Was I wrong?

(19 Posts)
Milly22 Tue 20-Nov-12 16:34:11

My DD wasn't invited to a school friend's Birthday party two weekends ago (most girls invited) but I told her it doesn't matter and she wasn't too bothered anyway so the following Monday my DD took a card and gift for her friend anyway. Her mum has tried to avoid me ever since. Was I wrong?

valiumredhead Tue 20-Nov-12 16:37:26

Why did you take a card and grift in? Presumably you don't know them very well or she would have invited dd?

Groovee Tue 20-Nov-12 16:37:45

I don't think you did anything wrong. I think the mum may be embarrassed that you use the I don't give to receive motto.

Justforlaughs Tue 20-Nov-12 16:39:02

No right or wrong, maybe she thinks you were making a point

valiumredhead Tue 20-Nov-12 16:39:05

It seems like if dd wasn't bothered that you made a bigger deal of it than it was.

missymoomoomee Tue 20-Nov-12 16:39:34

There was probably limited space at the party and she feels a bit awkward now. I do think you were wrong to send a gift in tbh, I would have just left it. It was very nice of you though.

Milly22 Tue 20-Nov-12 16:39:55

We know them very well, basically neighbours and DD's always together.

Sameageaskylie Tue 20-Nov-12 16:41:00

Why do you think she didn't invite your DD if they are such good friends? Seems a bit odd?

Floggingmolly Tue 20-Nov-12 16:41:41

She's obviously embarrassed. There's nothing actually wrong with what you did; but it is unusual and could be seen to be making a point.

pictish Tue 20-Nov-12 16:41:55

Yes you were wrong. Even if your intentions were good, it will look like you were making a point about the party.

DozyDuck Tue 20-Nov-12 16:42:34

When DS doesn't get invited to parties he still takes presents and no one is funny with me. He doesn't like parties anyway.

ihearsounds Tue 20-Nov-12 16:44:16

maybe the mum is miffed that although neighbours, you waited until monday to give the gift. Could easily been done over the weekend as the two girls are always playing with each other.

Milly22 Tue 20-Nov-12 16:46:54

It was DD decision (and money) to buy present not mine. Who was I to stop her?

Milly22 Tue 20-Nov-12 16:54:57

Birthday wasn't until the following Monday.

pictish Tue 20-Nov-12 17:02:16

You probably shouldn't allow your daughter to spend her own money buying presents for people who don't think she's important enough to be invited to the party.

Never make someone a priority if they'll only ever make you an option.

Floggingmolly Tue 20-Nov-12 17:04:30

If the present was given a week in advance of the actual birthday; could she have intended to invite your dd to a birthday tea on the day itself, and now feels crap because you'll never now believe she didn't do it out of guilt?
I would only ever get a birthday child a present if we were invited but couldn't make it, fwiw.

Nancy66 Tue 20-Nov-12 17:11:31

You weren't wrong at all.

Your daughter wanted to do a nice thing for her friend. The mum is embarrassed now but that's not your (or your daughter's ) problem.

Tailtwister Tue 20-Nov-12 17:14:27

I'm guessing the other mum thinks you did it to make a point and she feels embarrassed.

valiumredhead Tue 20-Nov-12 17:47:05

What pictish said

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