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to be so annoyed about comment on babys skin colour

(120 Posts)
Lia87 Tue 20-Nov-12 12:10:50

my baby is still quite jaundice. however an old woman in the doctors earlier found it necessary to say out of the blue "she's mixed race then?", with quite a condesending tone, to which i replied "no" then she felt the need to say "oh. she's got such dark hair as well though, is her dad british?" this was without any prior conversation at all

i just thought that was completely rude and nothing to do with her, for a start, why does it even matter what race she is? and to then question it again after i've said no was rediculous, i didn't bother to explain she's jaundice, as i don't think its got anything to do with her!

am i being unreasonable and over grumpy or am i right in thinking thats not the kind of question you ask people

CrazyRandomHappenstance Wed 21-Nov-12 10:05:09

I have Dark hair and dark eyes and olive skin as does DH and DD1, DD2 however has white blond hair and blue eyes, so far i've had an old woman ask if they have different dads randomly on the bus "No" "are you sure?" shock. and various people ask if shes the milkmans, not likely my milkman is a woman. you just have to smile and think of something witty.

InNeedOfBrandy Wed 21-Nov-12 09:27:19

mybaby are you saying people didn't believe you? Please link to thread I would love to read it. Ignorant fuckers.

bionic thats really frightening people think that way

BionicEmu Wed 21-Nov-12 09:18:40

My toddler DS has very light blond hair (almost white), very pale skin and striking big, bright blue eyes. Took him to a neighbour's toddler's party where said neighbour said he looked like "a good little Aryan."

I've had comments like that from a few people now. Possibly as we live in rural-ish Derbyshire, a strong BNP area. I still have no idea what to say in response to that - it's usually huge skinhead men who say it and TBH they scare me slightly.

MyBaby1day Wed 21-Nov-12 07:12:01

Sorry it was about white people judging me and my Mum!, not mixed-race people.....although maybe they're next. Everyone was on my case!. Bet they're quiet now!.

MyBaby1day Wed 21-Nov-12 07:10:50

A few weeks ago I started a thread in the AIBU section. It was about mixed-race people judging me and my Mum. To all those who doubted me-here is all the evidence!. @Bogeyface, you are too funny!!, get working on that lesbian one!! grin.

sleepywombat Wed 21-Nov-12 03:41:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NorksAreMessy Wed 21-Nov-12 02:46:00

I am half goggling and half giggling at this thread.

beaver of steel should take over from balls of steel for particularly feisty women...

"ooh, she has a steel beaver, that one"
"oh, strap on a beaver and just tell her"

sashh Wed 21-Nov-12 02:27:15

Sister of a friend, she's dark, parents from Sri Lanka, husband white, baby started off white and gradually darkened.

She was on a plane breastfeeding, "Excuse me, is that YOUR baby?"

Bogeyface Wed 21-Nov-12 02:12:58

We have between us....
a gay one
a disabled one
a ginga one
a mixed race one, and three "normal", whatever that is, ones.

The comments we get have to be heard to be believed, but our standard answer is..."We hope that the next one is a lesbian because then we will have a full house!" grin

LulaBear Wed 21-Nov-12 01:36:40

Really? In the last week I've been asked if very British DH is definitely British because he has dark eyes, hair and olive skin. Three people (and counting!) have asked if he is Greek. I don't see that as racism. People are used to multi-cultural families and ask questions. This past week I've worked with two people, one seemed Asian and the other Black. I didn't ask because, frankly, I didnt't care, but they were both Mauritian.

pigletmania Wed 21-Nov-12 00:23:52

YANBU the woman was rude and in polite

designergirl Tue 20-Nov-12 23:59:54

My DH and I have 4 daughters, so we get "were you trying for a boy?" quite regularly. Or "are you going to carry on until you get a boy?"

Valdeeves Tue 20-Nov-12 23:20:52

I agree with Richteas - both my kids are mixed race - olive skinned with almond shaped eyes and black hair (sound gorgeous? They are, ha ha!)
I get asked all the time - and I talk about there skin colour. Half the time people are just curious and phrase clumsily to try and appear at ease or show an interest. There's such a difference between this and real racism - which I have experienced, jumping on everything as rascist makes us all so defensive and makes an issue out of nothing. How can asking if someone is mixed race be rascist? It's just a question?

eatyouwithaspoon Tue 20-Nov-12 23:19:57

DC1 is bond and blue eyes, DC2 is dark skinned v.dark eyes and had a blue spot. My partner is dark - one of his friends said to him when we were all standing together about DC 2 there is no doubting who her father was obvious that they thought that DC 1 had another dad!

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 20-Nov-12 23:11:36

<<goes and makes logos up>>

Softlysoftly Tue 20-Nov-12 23:08:10

I will! Was quite funny actually, but then I tend to laugh at people now rather than batter them.

DDs both have Mongolian blue spots, that can be the mixed breed club name grin

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 20-Nov-12 23:02:42

Or both in your case sole <hugs> you have it in all directions.

SoleSource Tue 20-Nov-12 23:01:04

Yup, some people love to patronise parents of mixed raced and or disabled children.

Welcome to

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 20-Nov-12 23:00:59

No I got breed like your dog breeds not gets pregnant. It is pretty common in potois speak tbf and in so many dancehall songs.

What breed is fucking rude, I would of had to walk away before I punched her.

I would love to start a club PM me if your serious! grin

Softlysoftly Tue 20-Nov-12 22:53:46

Inneedof I got the breed thing too for DD1 shock, it was in a park and from an Asian woman, can't remember exactly but it was something like "she's mixed right? What breed", like she's a fucking labradoodle hmm.

Technically she's Wengladeshi grin

We are near Bristol perhaps we out to start a club!

TraineeBabyCatcher Tue 20-Nov-12 22:44:51

When ds was born he was jaundice with dark hair (and two very white/pale parents). A lad I know asked my friend if I was sure x was his dad, was I sure who the dad was because he looks like a paki. I was astonished to say the least!

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 20-Nov-12 22:34:16

~If the ageism comment was towards me.... It was in my experiences and still is.

CrapBag Tue 20-Nov-12 22:28:53

I would say that the lady in the OP does seem to think that a british dad would equal white skin though which I would have found annoying as well. Not the standard what a lovely skin tone/beautiful colour eyes/lovely hair that people might say if they were giving a complement.

CrapBag Tue 20-Nov-12 22:24:50

I often get people commenting on DD as she is a redhead with very pale skin, but so far so good, they have been positive.

However I am olive skinned with dark hair and eyes, as is DS so I am surprised more hasn't been said about them being so different however they do look alike if you take their colouring away. It seems people aren't too shy on opening their gobs before engaging their brains usually though.

I have had the odd question like "has DD got her colouring from her dad" but this is from people I know.

Mandy2003 Tue 20-Nov-12 22:17:10

ExP is mixed race (AngloIndian/White Caucasian).

When DS developed jaundice ExP's mother told me jaundice was caused by "the English blood fighting with the foreign blood"

WTAF!!!!! shockangrysad

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