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to be hurt by comments about my DS from friends staying with us?

(84 Posts)
Petershadow Tue 20-Nov-12 11:15:40

Or do I need to get a thicker skin?

Separate comments made by both of them

"ooh, just what you need, more sugar"

"yes, that's what you should have, more sugar"

DS is very active, borderline hyperactive

In no way does he have too much sugar.
One of the occasions he had just got up, one of the occasions, he had just had weetabix for breakfast

Dh thinks it was a bit out of order too.

Willdoitinaminute Wed 21-Nov-12 20:23:54

You must be friends of my sis and her DH. Exactly the sort of thing they would say. Unfortunately they can't have children so they will never know!

Petershadow Wed 21-Nov-12 20:19:42

Forgot to buy sugar again today!

HarderToKidnap Wed 21-Nov-12 09:09:22

I think a good rule in life is to try and give people the benefit of the doubt. The "more sugar" thing is probably an in joke amongst their group of parent friends and they just said it to your DS. If they have been nice to him and seem to like him, put it down to being a slightly misjudged joke and enjoy the rest of their stay.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Wed 21-Nov-12 06:40:51

I have a friend who has sugar free days in her house. Last time I saw her she told me this about 4 or 5 times. I am happy for her. biscuit - sugar free of course.

OP, ignore the stupid comments on this thread. YANBU to be irritated by the comments made by your guests. I reckon you should let your DS have a sugar fest while they are there.

Petershadow Wed 21-Nov-12 06:09:51

Very constructive domino, thanks for your input
And you don't know my child, so fuck off

And Morris, I'm sorry if it's a bit complicated for you
I think I've explained everything now

Dominodonkey Tue 20-Nov-12 23:37:24

Your kid is a pita. They commented on it using a sugar reference. Many people will think it but won't say it.

If you don't like it, don't ask them to stay again.

MorrisZapp Tue 20-Nov-12 22:17:52

They were joking, presumably. And sugar does have a direct impact on energy levels, that's why office workers hit the chocolate at 3pm.

And the op made no sense, and still doesn't.

All in all, a big over reaction.

griphook Tue 20-Nov-12 22:08:39

^Or maybe I'm just overthinking and they were just saying "you are active enough, you don't need sugar"
but I even think that's a bit rude^

This is what they were saying, I think they were being a bit sarky, it's the sort of thing my brother would come out with about my ds, who doesn't stop from the moment he gets up.

My db's dd is very placid and he believes this is how all children should be, sort of seen but not here.

Don't worry about, but if they say something again just make a comment back

blanksquit Tue 20-Nov-12 21:23:32

Floggingmolly - i disagree with you too. I've known plenty of calmer, less active boys than my dd.

MyLittleFireBird Tue 20-Nov-12 17:39:46

Children need healthy food and eating a diet of crap does affect them negatively, however I would point out to your friends and anyone else that the idea that sugar specifically causes kids to stay awake/be hyperactive/play up etc is a myth.

Floggingmolly Tue 20-Nov-12 17:14:29

Yes, coldcup, in terms of bad behaviour I agree.
In terms of sheer whirlwind energy, though, they do seem to be different.
(or maybe it's just my kids...)

coldcupoftea Tue 20-Nov-12 17:08:03

Oh God, I hate comments about other people's parenting, especially snidey sarky or passive aggressive comments. A friend of DH's was round the other day and I gave DD age 5 a snack of some grapes, at around 6.45. His comment: "ooh it's a bit late to be having grapes isn't it, they are full of sugar, you won't get to sleep...". OK it may not be the perfect bedtime snack, but she wanted them, I didn't have much else in and most importantly it was none of his business!

Floggingmolly I do disagree with your statement though and I hate it when parents use 'boys will be boys' as an excuse for their badly behaved DC who just happen to be male hmm Not saying this is what the OP is doing though...

Floggingmolly Tue 20-Nov-12 16:49:54

The key phrase here is "they have a daughter"...
Little boys are not the same species as little girls. Fact.

blanksquit Tue 20-Nov-12 14:51:59

I think it just sounds like a joke really. I wouldn't read too much into it.

Brycie Tue 20-Nov-12 14:47:20

Peter, if you do zinc make sure you give before bed as it makes them sleepy.

mummytime Tue 20-Nov-12 14:12:06

You might want to switch juice to see if it has an effect. OJ was severely restricted for years in our family.

THERhubarb Tue 20-Nov-12 13:11:27

Petershadow - you might find this article on diet and behaviour helpful. It's not just sugar that is to blame it seems.

Petershadow Tue 20-Nov-12 13:09:57

Brycie, I'll try anything! thank you

mummytime- he does have juice, but not loads, and I still water it down
if I give him the choice he will opt for milk

SamSmalaidh Tue 20-Nov-12 13:07:41

Exactly - they could easily have said "ooh, no more coffee/red bull for you!". I doubt they were commented on his diet, just making a joke about energy levels (and maybe trying to empathise/stop you feeling bad about his behaviour - saying it is funny rather than bad).

mummytime Tue 20-Nov-12 13:07:24

Do you have Orange Juice? Because that used to make my DS more hyper.

Your house guests were rude and seemed to have reached the fish stage (began to smell).

You can't expect normal behaviour when his routine has been so disrupted. Especially if they aren't letting you get out in the morning. I would be tempted if they hang around to much, to treat your DS like you would a dog and just take him for an early morning walk regardless.

brew to give you patience.

SparkyTGD Tue 20-Nov-12 13:04:59

I think you should forget about 'why' they said it but make sure to question them on it if they say anything similar again.

eg What do you mean 'more sugar'? and be ready to explain that your DS has a healthy diet & yes he is a bit hyper but its not really anything to do with that.

They will probably say 'Oh, I was only teasing' to which you could reply '"I know but there's someone I know (invent person) who really goes on about this and it really annoys me because they don't know anything about it" wink

Brycie Tue 20-Nov-12 13:03:54

Are you looking for advice here? As I would have a try at a bit of magnesium, zinc or taurine, if you are really that worried about behaviour. They help focus which always helps behaviour.

Petershadow Tue 20-Nov-12 13:01:37


maybe they went to put sugar in their tea, and because there was none, they assumed ds eats it

diddl Tue 20-Nov-12 12:59:06

Do they mistakenly think he has been having the sugar from the bowl, then?confused

Petershadow Tue 20-Nov-12 12:58:43

That's why I'm asking, because I am very defensive of DS's behaviour, because I feel like I have tried everything and that's just the way he is.
It is also very much on my mind at the moment as he had a shocking week last week, his behaviour was awful
So yes, maybe I'm overthinking it

TheRhubarb, your scenario sounds shocking.
Fortunately DS's school only has school dinners and they are very healthy and tasty.
I have tried Omega 3, didn't really make any difference, but he still has it

Notquint- The 3 bears took the sugar I think!

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