DH and his two brothers had a difficult childhood. Mother largely absent, returning periodically till early teens, then not seen until he was in his mid twenties. Father selfish and detached, string of girlfriends barely out of their teens. But DH and siblings all calm, kind, well-adjusted people. Amazing qualifications, good jobs, happy relationships, no obvious issues.
Conversely, I had a wonderful upbringing. Parents still together after 30+ years of marriage, lots of love, attention and no dramas. I haven't found a job I can stick with for more than two years, suffered with depression and PND, bit unhinged at times, terribly insecure. My Dsis has been in trouble with the law and, for other reasons I better not go into, is even more of a mess than me.
Can't understand why the offspring of the negligent parents are so...sane. Only differences I can see is that DH and bros were all packed off to a very prestigious public school and have this inner confidence and peace with themselves that Dsis and I (both went to local comp) clearly lack. And there is the obvious gender difference.
I'm thinking of this a lot now since having my own daughter. I hope to give her the loving upbringing and secure home I had, but it doesn't seem to have done me a lot of good! How do some children turn out so well and happy, and others not so much. Could it be that schooling plays just as important (if not more important) a role??
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to wonder how DH is so well adjusted...and I am not!
23 replies
EdibleBears · 19/11/2012 20:39
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