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To think that when they said 'relaxed' they meant not a good Mum?

(18 Posts)
Spice17 Mon 19-Nov-12 15:39:25

I'm a new Mum and my DM saw 2 of my cousins yesterday who said that I was 'relaxed' with my DD.

Now I don't know the context of this conversation but it's made me think they mean it in a negative sense for some reason (I get on with them both very well by the way and no previous of bitching/arguments)

I've taken it as meaning I'm lax or not very responsive to her needs. I realise that sounds mad and paranoid now I'm writing it but it's made me wonder why I can't just see it as a positive.

Also, feel oddly a bit pissed off that they're suprised I'm relaxed with her if that's genuinley the way they meant it.

Perhaps I should get out a bit more! smile

sleepyhead Mon 19-Nov-12 15:40:29

Relaxed is a compliment.

When it's an insult they say "slack" wink.

mamamibbo Mon 19-Nov-12 15:41:40

relaxed is good smile

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 19-Nov-12 15:42:48

I think it sounds excellent, and possibly unusual in a first-time mum. Many of us found it hard to be relaxed, to go with the flow, not worry about the future implications of what we were doing right then, and enjoy our DCs.

But perhaps you aren't that relaxed because you are a bit paranoid grin. I say that because you've no reason to think they meant it in a bitchy way ....

TinyDancingHoofer Mon 19-Nov-12 15:43:08

I'd have thought they meant relaxed in a serene, calm way. As in not stressed smile

squoosh Mon 19-Nov-12 15:43:24

Relaxed is a compliment, means you're natural and at ease.

sleepyhead Mon 19-Nov-12 15:43:56

Oh, and lots of people are not relaxed with their newborn, not necessarily a bad thing, people can't help the way they feel and some are less confident than others or have specific worries, so I don't think it's odd to mention it if you seem very relaxed and happy with your dd.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Mon 19-Nov-12 15:43:56

It's a compliment. They mean you're a natural at it.

Justforlaughs Mon 19-Nov-12 15:44:03

Take it as a compliment, if this is your first DC many people will be surprised that you are relaxed about it, maybe they are jealous, but it is a fact that many first time mums are stressed and worried about whether they are doing everything right. Enjoy it.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Mon 19-Nov-12 15:44:06

Relaxed as the opposite of highly strung or pfb.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 19-Nov-12 15:44:17

My FIL said (to my face) that he was surprised how maternal I was. Now that's an insult

Spice17 Mon 19-Nov-12 15:51:22

Phew, thanks I was worried people would say I was going a bit crazy!

I DO feel relaxed with her most of the time apart from when she snuffles/breathes funny/moves differently/sleeps a lot/cries (only joking!) so I should see it as a compliment I guess.

I just recall a friend of mine saying another friend had a 'relaxed' parenting style after she let her 4 year old son stay up until 5am in the morning on NYE!

I will be rational (is that possible with a newborn I wonder?!) and take it as a good thing smile

YoullScreamAboutItOneDay Mon 19-Nov-12 15:53:40

No no. 'Relaxed parenting style' as a criticism of someone with an older child is not the same as 'relaxed' when talking about someone relating to their young baby. It is a compliment.

MamaMary Mon 19-Nov-12 15:55:31

My DM says the same about me and I take it as a big compliment smile

Notquite Mon 19-Nov-12 15:58:01

'Relaxed' with a newborn is a massive compliment. If they're surprised, it's because not everybody achieves such a serene state. blush

TraineeBabyCatcher Mon 19-Nov-12 15:58:21

It's when they put 'too' before relaxed that you need to worry.

mrsscoob Mon 19-Nov-12 16:02:48

Compliment definitely. Welcome to the world of guilt ridden motherhood smile

MoomieAndFreddie Mon 19-Nov-12 16:02:50

no its a compliment IMO esp to a mum of a PFB

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