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to not want a birthday surprise?

(8 Posts)
MichelleRooJnr Mon 19-Nov-12 15:05:34

It's my birthday in 3 weeks.
OH and I will go out for a meal. I love trying out new restaurants but we can't afford to do that very often so I love an excuse to pick somewhere special and look at the menus online etc.
I share my birthday with a friend and we usually do something on the weekend before or after our birthday. But this year it's on a Saturday so we're all going to go out together.
When I mentioned to OH that I would pick somewhere this week so we can book, he said that he and friend's DH have got it sorted and it's a surprise.
I told him I don't want a surprise but he doesn't really get it and I think he's quite proud of himself for arranging things.
I know I am an ungrateful bitch but I'm disappointed and feel like stamping my feet.
I know that friend and her DH like chain restaurants like Strada and Prezzo and my OH would just have agreed with wherever her DH has suggested.
It's a waste of a chance to do something I look forward to for ages.
And it's not as though I can just enjoy it and go out another night to a nice place with OH - this will be us spent up for nights out til the new year.
I need to grow the fuck up, don't I? It's not like this is my fekking 18th birthday - it's my 38th blush
And now I can't stop googling all the lovely restaurants that have opened locally in the last year envy

OldCatLady Mon 19-Nov-12 15:13:04

Just say you really appreciate them organising something, but you just want to check you're not going to strada or pizza express, you know what friends DH is like and you don't want to be disappointed. Sorted.

MissCellania Mon 19-Nov-12 15:15:57

You shouldn't have agreed to go out as a foursome then, since they like that kind of place, and your DH is happy to go along with them, its 3 against one. The majority wins and they get to pick.

FrozenYogurt Mon 19-Nov-12 15:16:17

This exact thing happened to me on my 30th. Friend and I agreed that since it was a special one we'd do separate events, having spent years (willingly) sharing our birthday celebrations. Our OHs got together and decided to throw us a joint surprise party anyway. I wheedled it out of OH before the party, as I had a suspicion they'd organised something and spent the weeks leading up to it in a bit of a sulk (ungrateful I know!). Anyway, party ended up being lovely and I did enjoy myself but I was a bit sad that I didn't get the celebration I wanted. It was the last joint party we had. If you feel that strongly about it just tell your OH you'll be booking the restaurant that you want, and either go with your friend or as a couple. No point ruining your one chance for an enjoyable evening out.

Ragwort Mon 19-Nov-12 15:17:09


Half (well, a quarter grin) of the fun is looking forward to where you are going, anticipating it all etc etc. I never get why if is your birthday you have the 'surprise' - as you say, if you don't like it, it will be a massive disappointment. And you have to pretend to be enjoying it.

Not sure what you can really do though, OldCatLady's suggestion is good, but what if he says that they have booked Strada sad.

BackforGood Mon 19-Nov-12 15:18:23

What MissCellania said.
You have to decide if their company in a restaurant you might not choose yourself is more valuable than you getting to pick the restaurant but not spending time with friends.

Justforlaughs Mon 19-Nov-12 15:19:09

Can you say something like "that's lovely but can we (you and your DP) go to .... next weekend please"? It sounds like you normally go out twice. And you never know, they may have something lovely lined up if not give him hell afterwards Happy Birthday thanks

LaCiccolina Mon 19-Nov-12 15:21:38

Really don't get this. You knew doing a foursome would mean likely doing a restaurant u don't like and still agreed? Ffs why?????

Should have left it girls only one night and u/oh the other. I'm afraid oldcat and missC give u the only options.....

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