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to think if 2 of your children have been taken by their dad

(41 Posts)
mamamibbo Mon 19-Nov-12 14:51:17

and they other 2 are very close to being taken into care (different dads) becuase you havent been looking after them properly

then you should try and make an effort with the ones you still have

my neighbour is screaming at the 5 year old thats playing out in the pouring rain with out a coat on, ive no idea why he isnt at school sad shes using words that shouldnt be said to small children

i know i should keep my nose out but i feel sorry for the kids sad

MrsCantSayAnything Mon 19-Nov-12 14:52:58

Ask her if she'd like you to look after him for a couple of hours. sad

DameMargotFountain Mon 19-Nov-12 14:55:10

AIBU to think that there are many other things to think that you could be doing rather than typing this out on an anonymous forum?

go and ask her if she needs any help ffs

or if it's gone past that, call someone who can help her and the DCs

SamSmalaidh Mon 19-Nov-12 14:56:32

Rather than keeping your nose out, shouldn't you be actually doing something to help those children?

mamamibbo Mon 19-Nov-12 14:57:20

i cant go and offer help because we've had bother with her before and had to report her to her landlord and i dont know who i could call, ive rung ss about her before and they are involved

SchroSawMummyRidingSantaClaus Mon 19-Nov-12 14:58:10

Yes, you should be doing something. If SS are already involved, this is about the time where it would be appropriate to call them.

SchroSawMummyRidingSantaClaus Mon 19-Nov-12 14:58:28

Please phone them again.

DameMargotFountain Mon 19-Nov-12 15:00:20

so, you're not going to help her, or the children and thought you'd set up a nice little discussion over the 'net for what reason?

mamamibbo Mon 19-Nov-12 15:01:59

just a quick list of things ive done

rung the police every time shes left them (10,5,2 and 8 months) alone in the house at night and after finding her 2 year old walking down the street alone and no one answered the door
rung ss because the children were crying to me that they were hungry (after speaking to the school)
rung her landlord becuase she threw all her rubbish into the garden the children played in and i could see rodents in it
spoke to her sure start family worker
spoken to school

i sound like im harrassing her

LadySybilPussPolham Mon 19-Nov-12 15:02:16

Have you got net curtains?

SchroSawMummyRidingSantaClaus Mon 19-Nov-12 15:04:16

You're not, you're doing what you can for the kids. I mean FFS one is 8 months. Go call the police on 101 or SS again.

Hopeforever Mon 19-Nov-12 15:04:24

Why are you getting so cross with the OP?

She has called SS, she is concerned, she is stuck listening to unhappy kids.

Also, unless you struggle to parent yourself it's hard to understand how others do

mamamibbo Mon 19-Nov-12 15:05:07

oh and once when she went out and left the 10 year old and 5 year old playing out and tghey decided to play chicken

the 10 year old is friends with my 10 year old at school,

ClementineKelandra Mon 19-Nov-12 15:05:42

Maybe less children would be at risk if communities all worked together to support a parent who is struggling.

SchroSawMummyRidingSantaClaus Mon 19-Nov-12 15:06:06

I do struggle at times, I certainly don't have DS out in the rain in Nov with no jacket and I also don't scream and swear at him.

And leaving them in the house alone! shock

quietlysuggests Mon 19-Nov-12 15:06:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamamibbo Mon 19-Nov-12 15:07:10

and i started the conversation because its upsetting me that its still happening and this way i can talk but stay anon

SucksToBeMe Mon 19-Nov-12 15:10:37

You sound like you've done a much as you can tbh. If you did knock on the door and offer help she would most likely shout and swear at you too. At least ss can keep an eye on her.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Mon 19-Nov-12 15:11:47

I don't get why people are being harsh to you OP. It sounds like you've already done a lot and its an awful situation. I'd call SS again though.

longingforsomesleep Mon 19-Nov-12 15:14:47

and presumably, mama, you also hoped that someone might have some constructive advice to give instead of having a go at you! You've obviously done a lot already to try and help. It amazes me she still has any children given the behaviour you describe. Leaving them alone and hungry at night? We all snap at our kids and perhaps behave inappropriately at times, but it sounds like she is a lost cause. It sounds like any practical help you offer - looking after them for a couple of hours, feeding them etc would just be a drop in the ocean. Sounds like they need to be taken into care.

Nancy66 Mon 19-Nov-12 15:17:15

jesus - why all the nastiness towards the OP - she's not the one mistreating her children.

tethersend Mon 19-Nov-12 15:44:33

Am also baffled by responses to the OP.

mamamibbo, you need to call Children's services and report what you've seen, even if you've called them before. It's evidence like this which allows SS to investigate and take action, which sounds appropriate in this case.

"Maybe less children would be at risk if communities all worked together to support a parent who is struggling."

Even the most well-meaning community can place very vulnerable children at greater risk by taking action to 'support' an abusive parent. Community support has its place, but it is no substitute for social services, and sounds like it would be inappropriate in this situation.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 19-Nov-12 15:46:49

Me too tether.

Strikes me the OP is letting off steam.

Sounds like the OPs neighbour has no idea how to look after children

RandallPinkFloyd Mon 19-Nov-12 16:02:48

She could a neglectful cow who doesn't give a shit about her kids.

She could be a desperately sad woman with PND or similar who just can't cope and is clinging on by her finger nails.

Only she knows the truth.

Either way it would seem that both she and the children need help.

It doesn't matter how many times you've called SS before, if you really don't feel able to offer her some help yourself, ring them again.

And keep ringing them every time you see something that you think they need to be aware of.

If things really are as serious as you've written them on here then those children's live's are at risk.

(To be totally honest if she has a police record for leaving such young children at home alone I'm surprised she's not in prison never mind still in sole unsupervised charge of her kids.)

DameMargotFountain Mon 19-Nov-12 16:05:32

i'm cross because the OP (and her initial replies) is talking about how bad this other parent is, not how helpless she's feeling

OP, have you called SS again yet? this family needs help, and they won't get it unless the agencies know how bad it is for them

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