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AIBU to be pissed off at friend and let her know it?...

(94 Posts)
Pinkforever Mon 19-Nov-12 13:15:54

I always arrange our girls nights out. It can be quite challenging as need to find dates that suit everyone,venues etc.

Due to works nights out,other commitments etc I had arranged that our xmas night out would be last saturday.

However one of my friends is a very fussy eater and made it clear that if she didnt like the choice of restaurant she wouldnt come. We picked an indian, she doesnt like curry so was fine with her not attending.

Now my other friend had made no objections to which restaurant we were going to and seemed quite happy-up until the point that this other woman pulled out. They are bosom buddies btw.

Now she didnt even tell me she wasnt coming-even though I had booked it-told another friend and then when I spoke to her about it came out with the shit excuse of her nearly 2 year old not sleeping and she cant leave him-she has a dh and it is their 3rd child not fucking pfb!!

I dont believe this excuse and think that not coming because your pal isnt is a bit pathetic in a grown woman? plus I think she was peed off we didnt invite her dh but thats another story...

Aibu to be pissed off and tell them they can organise their own nights out from now on?...

MrsCantSayAnything Mon 19-Nov-12 13:23:01

Lighten up ffs. It's a night out not a bloody work meeting! I HATE it when people get all precious about things. She doesn't want to go.
Deal with it.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Mon 19-Nov-12 13:24:28

I agree with's not a big deal that she doesn't want to go if her mate isn't going! When we organise big nights out we just pick a date and then say who wants to come come and if you can't make it no biggie.

missymoomoomee Mon 19-Nov-12 13:26:09

WOW. Over-reaction much? Maybe she was telling the truth and her child wasn't sleeping properly and she felt knackered and shit.

frootshoots Mon 19-Nov-12 13:26:59

How old are you all? It's a night out, not the first, not the last. If she doesn't want to go for whatever reason then that is her own prerogative. Maybe hand the responsibility of sorting nights out to someone else if you can't handle people not wanting to go.

WileyRoadRunner Mon 19-Nov-12 13:27:18

She doesn't want to go and is making up an excuse to be polite.

There are certain things I would drop out of if one of the people I enjoy myself most with wasn't going. I would save my cash and wait until we could all go.

Of course she could be telling the truth and they may take you up on the offer of organising their own night out.

Tweasels Mon 19-Nov-12 13:27:31

Why would you pick a restaurant that one of your group wouldn't eat in?

What does it matter if the other one didn't want to come. Doesn't matter if it's a shit excuse, she clearly just didn't want to.

I wouldn't worry about it. As long as you had a nice time.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Mon 19-Nov-12 13:29:35

So, just because your friend is a fussy eater, you deliberately booked Christmas nights out at an Indian restaurant, and thought "fuckit if sheila wont come", and now you are pissed off that Sheilas best made decided to give it a miss too?
To be honest, I am not surprised.

boobyboo Mon 19-Nov-12 13:31:34

My toddler doesn't sleep and won't settle for her dad so I've had to miss/come back from every single night out for nearly a year and a half. Occasionally I think I am getting some respite and might be able to have a night out, but then the not sleeping starts again and I am once more housebound. Almost worse than missing out on the nights out is the sense that my friends might think I am lying to them. I am sure some of them do, and I feel like I've lost some friends on top of being incredibly sleep deprived for well over a year. YABU.

Also, if you have a friend that is a fussy eater, why on earth did you book to go for a curry?

Pinkforever Mon 19-Nov-12 13:31:57

To answer questions-

We picked the indian as it is majority rules Im afraid-had suggested a couple of others and fussy eater wasnt keen on them either...

My friends jokingly call me the social seretary of the group and they tell me they want me to organise it and that if I didnt we would never go out...

I found it very rude that she didnt tell me she wasnt coming until one day before it and then bullshitted about the reasons why. If she had said I am no longer coming because X isnt then I would have found it pathetic but I would accepted it.

I had a great time btw-another lady joined us in her place and she was a lot of fun...

waltermittymissus Mon 19-Nov-12 13:32:09

YABVU. Not only did you pick somewhere that you knew one of them couldn't attend because she doesn't eat the food hmm, then you get all upset because someone pulled out?

Is it really that big a deal?

NewNames Mon 19-Nov-12 13:32:35

Agree, you should have gone somewhere everyone liked.

However, I don't really tolerate fussy eaters so wouldn't go too far out of my way to accommodate her.

Be pissed off if you like but I wouldn't - focus your energy on something less silly.

Pinkforever Mon 19-Nov-12 13:32:49

Your child wont settle for its own father?-wow some people really do make a rod for their own backs....

FunnysInLaJardin Mon 19-Nov-12 13:34:14

how many of you were there?

BuddyTheChristmasElf Mon 19-Nov-12 13:35:45

maybe people just don't wanna go because you take these nights SO FRIGGIN SERIOUSLY that it bleeds all the fun out of it?

does it matter? did the restraunt charge you for them? could you not have fun with whoever WAS there even if it was just a couple of you?

and FWIW kids of all ages can have sleep regressions/periods of nightmares/insecurity, yes even third children hmm perhaps the problems only started the day before, kids don't give you notice before they regress!

Pinkforever Mon 19-Nov-12 13:35:51

Indians do serve other food rather than indian-and to misquote alan partridge-you will pay the price for being a fussy eater....

I concede I may be a bit bu to be so miffed so will let it go. I think I am missing the mummy martyr gene or something because if I thought my child was going to whinge all I would think was great I wont be there to hear it!!grin

Pinkforever Mon 19-Nov-12 13:37:24

Buddy-did you miss the post where I pointed out that my friends ASK me to organise the nights out? believe me I wish someone else would do it as it is a pain in the arse trying to suit everyone...

BuddyTheChristmasElf Mon 19-Nov-12 13:37:52

well my DH is as capable as I am to look after DCs, but if I knew it was going to be an unsettled night, and he had things to do the next morning, I would "take the bullet" that time.

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots Mon 19-Nov-12 13:37:54

i know someone called the social secretary. it isnt meant in a nice way.

<just sayin.>

BuddyTheChristmasElf Mon 19-Nov-12 13:39:44

no I didn't miss the bit where your orgnanising is a bit of a joke with your friends, I think you are taking it too seriously now, its not fun any more when someone starts "playing mum" to grown adults

it's just a night out.

scentednappyhag Mon 19-Nov-12 13:41:59

I think it's bloody mean to organise a group night out somewhere that one of your friends would be uncomfortable. I think it's childish to have a strop because someone else decided not to come.

Pinkforever Mon 19-Nov-12 13:42:31

I have conceded I was bu to be so pissed off-did have a great night after all/ But I still think not coming to a night out because your bezzie isnt or because your dh wasnt invited is pretty juvenile....

BuddyTheChristmasElf Mon 19-Nov-12 13:43:50

OP, I think they were just being polite, I think they just got fed up with you and couldn't be arsed with it but were kind enough to not tell you to shove your curry up your arse!

frootshoots Mon 19-Nov-12 13:45:11

No more juvenile than you throwing a strop because everyone didn't dance to your tune...

coppertop Mon 19-Nov-12 13:47:47

"However one of my friends is a very fussy eater and made it clear that if she didnt like the choice of restaurant she wouldnt come."

So why not just ask this friend to choose a restaurant and take it from there? confused

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