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to kill my MiL for telling DD2 that Santa doesn't exist

(122 Posts)
freddiefrog Mon 19-Nov-12 09:39:26

DD2 is 7, she was very firmly in the I Belive camp and I really would have liked it to remain that way for a couple more years.

DD1 (11) got suspicious a couple of years ago, and finally sussed/had it confirmed just after last Christmas, amid dire warnings of no stocking if she blew it for her sister.

The DDs were Skyping with the inlaws last night and the subject of Christmas came up.

MiL said 'oh, you don't still believe in Santa do you <DD2>, you're getting too old for that'. DD asked her what she meant, MiL then told her it was 'all pretend'

I'm ready to kill her

hk78 Mon 19-Nov-12 10:08:09

You can prove that he is real by tracking him on that NORAD Santa thingy.

MIL is just saying that because she knows he won't come to her because she's been saying mean things to people all year? (long shot?)

freddiefrog Mon 19-Nov-12 10:08:39

Tell your dd that grandma was a very naughty girl and didn't get any presents and thats why she doesn't believe in FC.

We did! grin. She wasn't ready not to believe, so with a bit of fudging from us and her big sister, she's dismissed it as 'silly nanny' for now, but the seed of doubt is there now, she's asked a couple of questions about the mechanics of the big man this morning

DH has given her a massive bollocking over it. Apparently she's very apologetic, she "didn't think kids these days still believed at that age" (yeah right, hmm ). She has been warned.

HullyEastergully Mon 19-Nov-12 10:08:52

Still believed at NINE???

Do you live in a cave..?

Tigresswoods Mon 19-Nov-12 10:11:02

Seriously do children of that age still believe?

cozietoesie Mon 19-Nov-12 10:12:06

They often want to, Tigress. sad And if so, who are we to not support that.

FireOverBabylon Mon 19-Nov-12 10:15:29

I would be seriously looking at the appropriateness of them skyping the children if your MIL's going to come out with crap like this. If she can't use her common sense on something like this, then what else might she say? I think a stiff "you do something like this ever again, you don't get to skype the girls" might be in order.

Lovecat Mon 19-Nov-12 10:15:44

DD still believes at 7. She wants to believe. She's sussed out the tooth fairy, but likes the idea of Father Christmas ("Santa" - bleee!) and given her current propensity to melt down <please God it's a phase> I find him a useful method of behaviour modification. So Ner.

There was one horrendous little gobshite of a child in her class a few years ago who went round telling everyone there was no Father Christmas, no Tooth Fairy, no Easter Bunny and no God. As it is a Catholic school this last one got looked upon rather dimly so thankfully the other children (4-5 at the time) dismissed everything else she said as well.

What's wrong with wanting a little magic in your life? It doesn't equate to living in a cave...

Corygal Mon 19-Nov-12 10:16:27

I know children aged 9 to 10 who (claim to) believe. I find it slightly freaky that kids nudging puberty can go all dreamy about it. And are still hovered over by mothers terrified their child might stop believing in Santa.

I'm guessing the old religion cliche is at work here - if you don't believe in something, you'll believe in anything. But to push and push your kids to go on believing in Santa as their periods start...

"Look darling! Santy brought you condoms and a chlamydia testing kit!"

socharlotte Mon 19-Nov-12 10:17:55

Seriously do children of that age still believe?

I think they either pretend to believe for their parent's sake or else believe because they don't think that their parents would deceive them.
neither is healthy IMO.

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 19-Nov-12 10:18:36

I would take her down. Down to China Town.

CharminglyOdd Mon 19-Nov-12 10:20:11


FWIW I still believed at nine despite school friends telling me otherwise blush I think that was because the stocking was always placed on the end of my bed without waking me up, which was part of the Father Christmas story in our house and the first time I woke up during that process I was 22 (didn't believe by then but it was still a bit gutting to see my Mum sneak in... although she cared less by that point and was doing it at 6am rather than 2am when I was definitely sound asleep grin).

HullyEastergully Mon 19-Nov-12 10:20:27

I said "live in a cave" because I can't believe that a child of nine who lives in the real live world would have escaped the knowledge that Santa is a bit of a great big lie. It wasn't meant to be insulting. Am just AMAZEBALLS

Tamisara Mon 19-Nov-12 10:20:33

I still believed & wanted to believe at your DD2's age.

On Christmas Day my nan told me that Father Christmas didn't exist and it was my dad. To be honest I was just confused - I thought she meant my dad was the real Santa, and spent Christmas Eve taking presents to all the children in the world.

Admittedly it was all the more confusing as my dad had dressed up as Santa for years at social clubs, at which I told the other children that he was my dad (as I knew). So my nan's revelation actually convinced me that my dad was the real thing!

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 19-Nov-12 10:20:38

I think killing her would be a bit extreme. Maybe bit of a kicking?

Seriously though,why would she say that? Was she just being thoughtless?

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 19-Nov-12 10:20:47

Fuck off, man! I still believed until I was like 11. I honestly did. sad

HullyEastergully Mon 19-Nov-12 10:21:26

I believe you Bups.

It explains a lot.

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 19-Nov-12 10:21:55

HULLYEASTERGULLY, some of us do live in caves on here on Mumsnet I can't believe that you are being this insensitive. Usually you are a thoughtful poster but this was misjudged.

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 19-Nov-12 10:22:55

Just because the only magic YOU had in your life was when you sprinkled your cornflakes with glitter just so you could do a sparkly fart, Hully. Don't be jealous.

Tamisara Mon 19-Nov-12 10:24:17

Hully I get your point, but people believe in god, despite children dying. Believe me it is not comforting to hear that "God has them in a better place" when your child dies sad

I'm not trying to say god doesn't exist - it's personal belief... so I see nothing wrong in believing in a benign figure such as Santa... heck I wish I still believed in him smile

HullyEastergully Mon 19-Nov-12 10:24:40

You forgot the SHS, Buppy you primordial cave-dweller you

HullyEastergully Mon 19-Nov-12 10:25:29

I didn't say there was anything WRONG with it, just that it was astonishing.

Jingleflobba Mon 19-Nov-12 10:26:13

Hully DS stopped believing at about 9 but went along with it for a couple of years because he thought we believed! He knows now obviously but happily goes along with it for the sake of his sisters, in fact I think he may be trying to convince himself that he does exist!
OP YANBU. Not her place to say anything no matter what the backstory is.

freddiefrog Mon 19-Nov-12 10:27:56

There are a couple of kids in DD1's year 6 class who believe (or at least they let people think they do). I always said I'd knock it on the head before secondary school, if they hadn't already worked it out for themselves.

DD1 had suspicions in year 4, had it confirmed in year 5. Is now keeping her gob shut so as not to spoil it for her sister.

But DD2, very definately believed. She's a very young 7 year old, pretty much all her friends believe, so she's never thought to question it.

Will rethink Skyping with Nanny & Grandad, if she can't keep her mouth shut. You'd think you could load the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen while they're Skyping their grandparents without issue really.

DH has had words

Oh, and we do call him Father Christmas, I'm typing on my phone and Santa is a lot less letters grin

Lovecat Mon 19-Nov-12 10:29:09

That's a rather weird post, Corygal - I don't think anyone's 'pushing and pushing' their child to believe, if my DD decides of her own accord to stop believing that's her business and it really won't be a big deal. Afaik we all stopped believing about 8 or 9 in our house but we still got stockings til we were 16! (but that was the limit of Fr Christmas's responsibility in our house, presents were from family)

I think what the OP is objecting to (quite rightly) is the MIL taking it upon herself to disabuse a SEVEN year old (I don't know where this business of being near puberty has come from) who was quite happy believing.

Sparkly farts must mean horrendously messy pants, no?

squeakytoy Mon 19-Nov-12 10:29:12

I definitely still believed at 7.. even though I had found the presents that were hidden in the wardrobe long before Xmas Day... it didnt stop me from spending Xmas Eve staring out of my bedroom window just in case I saw anything in the sky!!!

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