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to kill my MiL for telling DD2 that Santa doesn't exist

(122 Posts)
freddiefrog Mon 19-Nov-12 09:39:26

DD2 is 7, she was very firmly in the I Belive camp and I really would have liked it to remain that way for a couple more years.

DD1 (11) got suspicious a couple of years ago, and finally sussed/had it confirmed just after last Christmas, amid dire warnings of no stocking if she blew it for her sister.

The DDs were Skyping with the inlaws last night and the subject of Christmas came up.

MiL said 'oh, you don't still believe in Santa do you <DD2>, you're getting too old for that'. DD asked her what she meant, MiL then told her it was 'all pretend'

I'm ready to kill her

EchoBitch Mon 19-Nov-12 09:41:09


Primrose123 Mon 19-Nov-12 09:41:23

YANBU! I would be furious! Can you backtrack at all and persuade her that MIL was wrong?

scentednappyhag Mon 19-Nov-12 09:41:34

shock cow!
I know some people dot like 'lying' to their kids about Santa, but they're not her children angry
Cow. Cowcowcow!

lurkedtoolong Mon 19-Nov-12 09:42:13

Joyless crone. Not sure there's much you can do but I would be tempted to ask her what pleasure she took from disappointing your DD.

Fairylea Mon 19-Nov-12 09:43:29

My ex mil has done this with dd now aged 9. She told her that at 9 Santa stops visiting. I was very angry as its up to me when the magic ends, not them and dd still believes - even if she doesn't quite one hundred per cent believe we still want to enjoy it for as long as possible.

We have reassured her that mil / nanny has got it wrong and Santa will definitely be coming.

Grrrrr. Yanbu.

cozietoesie Mon 19-Nov-12 09:43:43

She probably knew already but the trouble is that now she 'officially knows' so you'll have to go with the 'Santa being the idea of how Xmas should be' and all that stuff. She'll be over it pretty quickly.

I see why you don't want MIL around if this is the sort of thing she enjoys doing.

Best of luck for the weekend - if it's still on.

ReallyTired Mon 19-Nov-12 09:44:15

That is horrible. It a parenting decision to decide when your child should realise that santa is pretend.

cheekybaubles Mon 19-Nov-12 09:44:22

Tell your dd that her grandma is barking and then do as lurked said. How dare she!

glentherednosedbattleostrich Mon 19-Nov-12 09:45:42

Tell your DD that your MIL is wrong and that is why she won't be getting any presents this year, because only people who believe get presents.

What sort of horrible old crone does that to a little girl? I would have to have very strong words with her.

Solo Mon 19-Nov-12 09:45:47

I do believe that any court in the land would find you not guilty of murder under those circumstances. Go for it! wink

BeatTheClock Mon 19-Nov-12 09:46:01

So would I! What a mean thing to say. Why did she feel the need to say that?sadhmm

I can remember my Grandma constantly 'getting it wrong' and alluding to the fact that my mum was behind the stocking presents. My mum could've throttled her as I recall.

But some people just are incrediably tactless and and have no ability to engage brain and mouth. My mil also for many many, things but even she's never said anything about Father Christmas.

cozietoesie Mon 19-Nov-12 09:46:31

There's a lot of history here, glen. sad It's probably a retaliatory thing.

Primrose123 Mon 19-Nov-12 09:48:18

There was a mum in our primary school who didn't like lying to her children, so she told them that Santa wasn't real. The three children told everyone and it went through the school like wildfire. Parents were furious. I think most managed to convince their children that he actually was real, but there was mayhem in the school yard for a while.

SminkoPinko Mon 19-Nov-12 09:50:31

Very thoughtless and/or mean, I agree. I would tell her that mil is jealous because Santa only comes to children. (Probably true!)

cozietoesie Mon 19-Nov-12 09:54:02


She's clearly willing to upset the DCs - and what normal adult is not exceptionally careful with children of that age on the subject of Santa. She's demented. Seeing the kids as your Achilles heel. (Which they probably are.)

I wouldn't normally say this but given that she's prepared to do as she's done, would you not actually be better off just cutting contact once and for all?

freddiefrog Mon 19-Nov-12 09:55:37

We've never made a massive deal about Santa, no threats of no stocking if she doesn't behave or anything like that. He just brings a sack of little bits and bobs (new hair bands, knickers, colouring pencils, Top Trump games, etc) to open Christmas morning. The rest of it goes under the tree and is labelled from the gift giver

DD1 came to her own conclusions when she was around 9, and we confirmed it just after last Christmas, no trauma or upset. We had planned to do the same for DD2. She's never asked or questioned it, DD1 was on Google Earth and all sorts, DD2 has never asked us anything so I think she still very firmly believed.

We've fudged it a bit, she wasn't ready not to believe yet if you see what I mean.

cosietoezie yes, weekend is still on unfortunately

cozietoesie Mon 19-Nov-12 09:58:13

Okay. But I would prepare yourself for a difficult weekend and more difficult Xmas visit. I'd have her in a headlock in the kitchen, myself!

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Mon 19-Nov-12 09:58:41

Horrible old cow! Give her a lump of coal from Santa for being so naughty

Frontpaw Mon 19-Nov-12 09:58:53

What a cow! I'll hold her down.

cozietoesie Mon 19-Nov-12 10:00:23

PS - she'll likely be back on the Santa topic at the weekend if she sees she's got a result - or sees she's got no result - or because the moon is in the wrong quarter or something. That's why I suggested that you deal with it more broadly and get it out of the way. She probably won't let it go. sad

Redstockingswillstopsanta Mon 19-Nov-12 10:01:22

Stake her out in an ant hill with jam smeared on her face grin,my 9 year old still believes and I hope it lasts for a few more years.
Tell your dd that grandma was a very naughty girl and didn't get any presents and thats why she doesn't believe in FC.

ReshapeWhileDamp Mon 19-Nov-12 10:03:58

Not only are you NBU, I will gladly do it for you. angry Bloody hell, who died and made it her job to decide what, and when, your DD2 would believe? What a killjoy cow. Please tell me you're going to have Words. If not actual stabbery.

and yes, can you convince DD2 that granny was being v naughty saying that, and guess who won't be getting any presents this year? grin

SparkleSoiree Mon 19-Nov-12 10:05:39

What a horrible thing to do to a child, especially if they are firmly in the believing camp.

If it were me I would be redirecting the conversation straight back round to the believe camp then I would be ringing MIL with a few things to say!

However YABU for wanting to kill MIL! grin

BRANdishingMistletoe Mon 19-Nov-12 10:05:51

Has your MIL ever made mistakes that your DD2 might know about? You could go down the route of Granny getting things wrong sometimes, eg she didn't even know that One Direction are a boy band so she might not know about other things that kids know.

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