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To want to see evidence from boyfriend before handing over £850?

(69 Posts)
Mirage80 Mon 19-Nov-12 06:16:40

Last night, boyfriend of 4 months booked a flights to New York for us. Total cost being £1700. He earns much more than I do so this isn't a huge deal to him, to me, it's a huge amount of money.

I did insist however on paying half and that isn't a problem, I have the money but rather than it being a bit of pocket change like it is with him, it's taken me a LONG time to save up.

It occurred to me that I don't even have any evidence of him booking anything and to be fair, 4 months isn't really that long to know anybody. He could be fleecing me!!

AIBU to ask to see the booking confirmation? it seems so untrusting but £850 is a LOT of money to me.

DragonMamma Mon 19-Nov-12 06:24:27

Thought you'd been with him 7/8 months?? And he'd met your kids and were spending family days out together?

If you trust him enough to meet your kids and spend a lot of time with them then YABU to not trust him with money.

shinyblackgrape Mon 19-Nov-12 06:26:30

You could just ask him to ping in a copy if the confirmation email - for your records.

Only thing I would say is that these flights seem quite expensive. We go every year for DH to go to a conference. Tend to book via Expedia and book the hotel at the same time so it just seems a bit high

rogersmellyonthetelly Mon 19-Nov-12 06:27:17

Ask to see the booking confirmation to make sure he has your details correct for your passport, and look online to see how much flights are generally to ny. That should give you a better idea without making a trust issue out of it. The details on the flight booking have to match your passport otherwise you can't get on the plane.
That way you won't offend him if he is genuine and you will know if he is chancing it

YouSeveredHead Mon 19-Nov-12 06:28:57

Are your kids going too? If they are how come he's paying half?

Numberlock Mon 19-Nov-12 06:30:26

Is this the holiday you talked about with your kids? Ie not 1700 just for two flights (which is incredibly high).

TheProjectManager Mon 19-Nov-12 06:33:55

I would be annoyed if someone - even a friend - said 'I've booked this now pay half' when it is such a sum of money - id rather they told me a range of prices and we were looking for deals on flights together .... What it he comes up with a similar price for the accommodation?? I would want more say in the process ... Might be too late to do with the flights but get involved more with the accommodation ... Also just a thought if he knows you earn a bit less he should be sensitive to that and shOuls really check with you before buying something like this - you don't want to be in this position again - and yes ask for the confirmations and check he got a good deal - if he didn't then point it out ( politely) - have a good holiday !!

Numberlock Mon 19-Nov-12 06:35:12

... or has he booked business class?

Pancakeflipper Mon 19-Nov-12 06:45:30

Has he booked a place for your concrete mother to go too?

catgirl1976 Mon 19-Nov-12 06:45:50

YANBU - it it doesn't sound like there is a lot of trust between you but better safe than sorry

I'm sure you can make it sound like you want too see the tickets due to excitement not caution

McKayz Mon 19-Nov-12 06:47:53

Hadn't you been together 8 months the other day? confused

Longdistance Mon 19-Nov-12 06:50:41

I take it that's with a hotel included?

Yanbu to see some paperwork though. I'd ask for the booking confirmation to look at times and such.

SantasComingFace Mon 19-Nov-12 06:53:06

Yanbu, you say you've saved a long time? Had you been saving before you met? You could just say 'I would like to see the tickets please' why wouldn't he let you? If he doesn't then don't hand over money. It seems like a big holiday to go on with someone you've not known too long.

stuffitunderthebed Mon 19-Nov-12 06:54:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I really like your username OP smile

ripsishere Mon 19-Nov-12 07:04:30

angry that once again I've missed something.
Maybe the high cost, and I do think that is a lot of money to pay for two tickets, was for excess luggage so concrete granny can go for a decent burial.

pigletmania Mon 19-Nov-12 07:09:53

It s a lot of money for 2 flights, I would ask for evidence

Tabliope Mon 19-Nov-12 07:44:39

I would have thought it would be a nice thing to do together - looking at the flights to get the times that suit you plus choosing seats so I wouldn't be happy about not being involved. Can you ask him for the link to the booking as you want to decide on seats together?

I'm off to NY soon. I paid about £980 for two. I did book quite a few months ago though but I did check online a few weeks ago and while slightly more expensive it wasn't massively different. When are you going? Certain dates in December can be very expensive so maybe it's gone up. However, you're paying almost double what I am. I wouldn't have liked not having the choice though. Price is a determiner for me so if it was cheaper another week I'd have wanted to go the cheaper week.

valiumredhead Mon 19-Nov-12 07:54:57

or has he booked business class?

Business class is a fortune! - look up how much a flight to NY is, it's a LOT more than £850 grin

I don't think it's a lot, my mum has just pad that recently and last year my family paid nearly £3k to come over here from the states. You can get flights cheaper but you have to book them months in advance and do tons of trawling for good deals.

valiumredhead Mon 19-Nov-12 07:55:35

Oh yeah, just ask for a receipt 'for your records.'

McKayz Mon 19-Nov-12 07:57:14

Is that for the whole break? Flights and hotel etc.

I've recently been looking at going to New York and it was about £1700 for flights, transfers and 4 nights in a hotel.

44SoStartingOver Mon 19-Nov-12 07:58:39

Did he not need your passport number to book flights? Did you book travel insurance? Does he know enough about you to buy travel insurance? Do you need a pass of some kind to visit us? Can't remember what it's called, but is that included?

Too many details to sort to do it solo surely?

44SoStartingOver Mon 19-Nov-12 07:59:16

Has he booked nicer things and wants to discreetly, sub you?

awaywego1 Mon 19-Nov-12 08:00:33

If you are needing to ask for evidence then you clearly don't trust him. I've been with my boyfriend 6 months and it wouldn't even occur to me to ask.

MoomieAndFreddie Mon 19-Nov-12 08:05:16

it does sound a lot for flights, are you sure its not for the hotel as well? we are going in feb and i think DH paid about £1500 for everything, flights and hotel.

you don't sound like you trust him much....but then IMO he shouldn't have just gone ahead and booked it without consulting you

and also call me old fashioned but i think (esp this early in the relationship) he should be TAKING you away, not making you pay half hmm sorry

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