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To not want him encouraging the kids to say these things?

(11 Posts)
WelshMaenad Sun 18-Nov-12 13:48:31

I have just started working nights. I've been doing overtime to keep my employers happy, and we've not yet worked out the finer details of daytime childcare (2.5yo mostly at home and 6yo in school) do done days I only get 1.5 hrs sleep after a night shift and nothing before.

I am working tonight, DH is off, the inlaws are visiting, so I opted not to go out with them today but to sleep as I can't tomorrow. I let DH sleep in till ten then woke him so I could return to bed. I then heard DH and dd and the inlaws laughing about how "mummy is a lazybones".

AIBU to be a bit upset by this? I'm not lazy, this is my night time, and in already down about 8 hrs sleep this week as even on sleepable days I have to do the school run then get DS from playgroup at 1pm.

I've returned to work to make all our lives better as we were finding things tight, and they just take the piss out of me! Thinking of going and spending my first pay packet entirely on myself...

MrsTomHardy Sun 18-Nov-12 14:03:51

You are definitely not lazy.
I couldn't do what you are doing

beeny Sun 18-Nov-12 14:05:34

You are not lazy.You need to have a word with your DH.

IDontDoIroning Sun 18-Nov-12 14:14:17

If you're lazy why not go for the full house and be selfish too and sirens your entire pay packet all on your self.

I'm sure he won't mind after all they go hand in hand.

Of course when you tell him about your plans and he seems a little disappointed that he isn't going to share, you can give him the correct explanation.

Either that or he is more supportive of you and your attempts to catch up on your list sleep.

I'm sure if it was him catching up on a night shift's lost sleep your ils wouldn't be laughing and calling him lazy. They would be tip toeing round. I would call them out on this its unfair and unappreciative.

IDontDoIroning Sun 18-Nov-12 14:14:47

Sirens - I meant spend

Lia87 Sun 18-Nov-12 14:15:43

if it was being said seriously/behind your back thats not ok at all, is there any chance your DH was saying it jokingly though? mention that it upset you, and could be he apologises not realising that it would have upset you, if he doesnt then you are definitely not being unreasonable though!

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 18-Nov-12 14:17:25

I would have gone down and very calmly said " I'm tired because I work nights not because I'm lazy" then if I was feeling super mean " shall I tell the children that you are liars"

MammaTJ Sun 18-Nov-12 14:26:43

I get a lie in on a Sunday because I work Sunday night. No way would my DP dare to say I am being lazy in doing so. He was probably only joking, unlike my exes DM when she told me that I liked my bed too much.

A few tips from a veteran of working nights.

If you do get to sleep, don't drink anything for a couple of hours before going to bed.
When you are working, if it is the kind of job you get to sit down, drink loads. The need to empty your bladder overrides the need for sleep every time!
I always put my TV on in my bedroom because the constant noise of that blocks out any sudden noises from outside.
Earplugs if you are bothered and can wear them.

What job is it you are doing?

WelshMaenad Sun 18-Nov-12 15:59:29

Mammatj, I work nights in a women's DV refuge.

MammaTJ Sun 18-Nov-12 21:33:38

oh WOW, interesting work!! I work in a home for the elderly with mental health problems.

CrapBag Sun 18-Nov-12 21:45:11

I would be very unhappy with this. Even as a joke I find it rude and demeaning.

My DS called me lazy recently because I wouldn't do something for him, that he was perfectly capable of doing himself. Ok he is 4 and doesn't quite get it but he really thought that I was lazy because I wasn't preparred to do it for him.

Your DH should be teaching your children that mummy is doing something for the family which means she needs to sleep at funny times.

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