to want another baby?(9 Posts)
I am nearly 36 and my husband and I have two children aged nearly 5 and nearly 2.
I have been broody since my second one was born and raring to have another baby. My husband doesn't want any more and says he has not enjoyed our second one as a baby. Whatever my reasons for having more it does not change the fact that he is happy with two an actively DOES NOT WANT any more.
But I really do! I can't shake my broodiness and it's making me quite unhappy on occasion. I know I'm so lucky to have my two children, but I want more! I feel like I never signed off on my last pregnancy being my last. I just feel so sad thinking I won't have any more babies.
Have any of you had similar experiences? Did you find a way to get over wanting to be a mum again? Or did you find a way to talk your husband around?!!!!!
I wouldn't try to change his mind tbh
It's no fun having a new baby when your dh isn't committed to helping you out
Agreed! Our two kids have been a total team effort and he is very hands on. I just wish he wanted more. Or that I could let go of wanting more!
You can't make your Dh want a baby if he just doesn't. It's not fair.
I know feeling broody is hard, I think most women can empathise with you on that score but I think it would so much damage to your marriage and relationship if you pursued this.
Book a nice holiday for next summer to take your mind of it
well at least for an hour
It's a hard one. My mums refusal to have another is one of th e reasons my git father cites for their marriage break down. But I think it was more the failure to talk and resolve other issues that really killed it. My heart goes out to you. I am currently 35 weeks with no 2. I know this will be the last for us (baring accidents) as dh doesn't want more and for us this is practical. But itt does make me a bit sad as well.
Neither of you abu.
You would be unreasonable to come off the pill without telling for example. Not saying you would, but just giving a reason where a person maybe unreasonable. Like he would be unreasonable to have unprotected sex with you knowing you were not on the pill and moaning if you did get pg.
But both feeling the way that you do is reasonable.
Thanks. It's a toughie, agree there's no right or wrong here, just two different viewpoints. I worry it'll affect the marriage if I can't get over wanting more. I've started to feel very resentful! So silly - we have two fab children. Why can't I be content with that?!
I can sympathise. I'm desperate for another. Ds is just turned 5 and dd is nearly 3. I'm 24. Dp has said he would like another but we both know it wouldn't be a great idea. We only have 2 bedrooms and I can't drive. We have agreed to think about it again in 6months after we get married.
There's probably no way you can persuade your dh, he sounds pretty set on only having 2. It's hard to let go of that broody feeling though isn't it?!
YANBU but neither is he. The only problem is that there is no real compromise you either have a baby or you dont. I think in your position I would question why he has said he didnt enjoy you dc2 as thats quite a strong thing to say and this may help answer the question of why he doesnt want any more - not change his mind about it but at least possibly help you see his reasoning and come to terms with it if needed.
After we had our dc2 dh and I were umming and ahhing about dc3 and in the end we sat down and just said "where do we go from here". In our case I was a sahm, he worked and we were both in our early twenties. DH constantly during the discussion talked about how he LIKED me being home and how he saw that as a longer term thing - i.e not just until the kids started school. I pointed out that I wanted a part of something outside the home as well but also we agreed we wanted a large family. Therefore we started a business together and had more children. Obviosuly this is a very personal soultion but it solved the problem of 1. Him hating his job and feeling pressured to go in to support us and 2. our family size.
So i would really say to him "look what is our future, we have these two children, you want no more so now what".
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