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AIBU?

To be totally offended by my mother?

19 replies

mummy1986 · 17/11/2012 19:59

Was talking to my dm today about my weight gain since ive given birth to dd2 (17 months).
I know i have put on weight, i feel very concious (sp?) about it and hate looking in the mirror.
I do not eat crap, eat 3 meals a day the occasional take away and bar of choc.
I have had the depo injection sice dd2 was born, or just after.
I think this is the reason for my weight gain as it can slow your metabolism down.
My not so dm told me that i wasnt having anymore children as i would have a shit life and be tied to them for even longer, so i should go and get sterilsed or send my dp for the snip.

I would like another dc at some point, i am only 26 and have a 4yr old dd too.
I was so gobsmaked i couldnt reply!

OP posts:

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thebody · 17/11/2012 20:04

Ignore your dm, she's not in charge if your fertility is she,?

You gain weight because you eat more than you burn off!

Themumsnot · 17/11/2012 20:06

YANBU. When I told my family I was pregnant with my (totally planned) third child my sister's reaction was 'Don't you think you have enough already?' If you are only in your twenties it would be crazy to get sterilised at this point. I had my third child at 38, if I'd been younger I'd have gone on and had one more.
Just ignore it, families seem to feel entitled to have opinions about this sort of thing, doesn't mean you have to agree.

MikeLitoris · 17/11/2012 20:08

Tell her to mind her own business..

I had the depo injection after having ds and i on about 3-4 stone. I went from a size 8 to a size 16. It also made me feel really hormonal and angry.

When i stopped having it i went down to Size 10 within 10 months. No change to my terrible eating habits.

mummy1986 · 17/11/2012 20:09

Her arguement was i wouldnt have to worry then if i was sterilsed and she said and i quote
"If you have any more bloody kids i swear i'll be on the 1st plane to Oz and so will your dad and you wont see us for dust!"
Just to clarify, they see our dd's a couple of times a wek, my dad and mum adore them both but do not babysit or offer to help out, so i see how having a 3rd dc would affect them in the slightest!

OP posts:

mummy1986 · 17/11/2012 20:10

Really Mikelitoris?
I have heard lots of women put on weight with it.
I was a size 10-12 when dd was born, and around 9.5stone.
16 months later i am a size 16 and nearly 13 stone it makes me want to stuff my face so i have a reason to be this size

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lovebunny · 17/11/2012 20:12

mothers get it wrong. i know. i am one.

Bogeyface · 17/11/2012 20:16

I would definitely look into tstopping the injection. I put on loads of weight with it, and one injection, about my fourth or fifth turned me into a raving maniac. I was absolutely vile for almost the whole 3 months. My GP persuaded me to have one more, and although I was better, I was still horrible so I stopped. The weight came off with no effort as my appetite went back to normal, and I wasnt being an utter bitch to all in sight.

mummy1986 · 17/11/2012 20:21

yes now you come to mention it i do get very bad moods...i thought it was just me. Ive gotta wait till jan then will try something else.
But...my appitite hasnt increased if anything i eat less to try and get the weight off.
My mother just phoned and i said oh i just read that some other women have put on weight withh depo, and when they stopped, it came off and she replied well if you had the sterilsation, i would pay for you to have a gym membership so you could get back to pre baby weight!!!
Honestly....sometimes the mind boggles...

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alwayspregnant · 17/11/2012 20:22

When I had was pregnant with my first DC my not so DM said "Are you sure you want to do this?". Four years on and when my husband and I were planning our fourth child my whole family felt it was their right to tell us that we were being selfish and what if something went wrong with this one, be grateful with what you've got etc.

If you want another child and are able to give that child a loving secure home then it's none of your mothers business.

NoraGainesborough · 17/11/2012 20:23

The injection doesn't make you put weight on. it increases your appetite. Very few medications just increase your body fat. Depo is not one of them. You only put weight on if you eat more than you burn.

As regards your mum, unless she helps you care for the children, ignore her.

alwayspregnant · 17/11/2012 20:24

Meant to add - stop the injections. I put on a stone when I was on the depo a decade ago, only time outside of pregnancy I've put on weight.

mummy1986 · 17/11/2012 20:28

She thinks i'm missing out because im a sahm, but i love it i used to work in a retail chain and hated it, now i feel like i have a purpose.
And she cant understand that as she is in the health sector and has worked full time since she was 18 having 6 weeks off with me and 4 with my sister 7 years later

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Convert · 17/11/2012 20:31

Your mom sounds lovely.

I put on two stone with the depo and was vile. I only had two of them after ds2 and it was awful. I have never ever finished what was on my plate in my life and after that I was eating bloody seconds. It made me so miserable. I hope you feel better after you stop it.
I think my mom was quite shocked when I had dd (dc3) but after she got used to the idea she was over the moon. Being at the birth has made it all very special for her. I think you need to explain to her that you find her comments hurtful and your decision on having another dc will have fuck all to do with her opinion.

mummy1986 · 17/11/2012 20:35

She is very opinionated and thinks she is right all the time. Just to give an idea:
When i found out i was preg with dd1, we was pleased, wasnt planned but never the less we were thrilled. My parents told me to get rid, i was too young (21, had own house with dp, 2 ft jobs) and i would be tied down. When i gave birth my mum came to hosp and ignored me.
DD2, ahhh well i got abuse from when i told her, which was at 16 weeks i think as i knew her reaction. I didnt speak to her again or my dad or sister actually until i was 36 weeks.

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Bogeyface · 17/11/2012 20:38

The fact that she only had 6 weeks off with you and 4 weeks with your sister says to me that she just doesnt like babies. Sorry to ask but were you and your sister planned? Did she resent you taking her away from her career?

mummy1986 · 17/11/2012 20:41

Dont know, my sis defo was planned because they were trying for ages, there is 7 yrs between my ds and i.
She said it was because of money she had to go back, but she paid a childminder 80% of her wages to mind my sis, and me after school!

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MummyPig24 · 17/11/2012 21:18

Jeez theres nothing like a supportive family eh? Seriously, its your life and just ignore your mum. My family were not exactly thrilled when I announced my 2nd pregnancy. My dad was livid! But like you, nobody actually has to look after our kids so it makes no odds to them. As for the weight gain, I can sympathise, not on the injection and have stopped taking the pill. Maybe you could try a different form of contraception for a while.

Bobyan · 17/11/2012 21:41

Tell her you're pregnant with twins .

Then when she's going off on one shout "only joking"!

apostropheuse · 17/11/2012 21:44

It's none of your mother's business.
Tell her so.

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