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DH won't let me ho back to school. bastard.

(30 Posts)
TaggieCampbellBlack Sat 17-Nov-12 17:53:38

I'm pondering the idea of a masters.

DH has reminded me that last time I went back to school I made him promise me he'd shoot me if I ever considered it again. I also think he might leave me if I did put him through just how horrible it was. It was That Bad.

It was Horrible.

I do remember how horrible it was. It was truly horrible.


As is my bent, 2 years along the line and I'm a bit bored.

So. He is not being U at all. Really. But I do think I need a little something

GobblersSparklyExplodingKnob Sat 17-Nov-12 17:57:17

Ah, just do it grin

I have started a degree this year and I have many days where if I could turn back time there is no way on earth I would have started knowing now how bastarding hard it is.

But I woudn't change it for the world really, the chance to re-engage my brain is amazing, I feel like 'me' again.

G'wan, do it, what would it be in? [nosy]

Numberlock Sat 17-Nov-12 17:59:01

Tell us what you mean by horrible and the impact that had on your husband and family.

TaggieCampbellBlack Sat 17-Nov-12 17:59:56

I've done it twice in the last 10 years.

I haven't decided specifics. But something hippyish and midwifey.

TaggieCampbellBlack Sat 17-Nov-12 18:03:22


The hardest work ever. Constant stress snd deadlines. Neglecting the brats. Missing school stuff. Giving up everything housey and leaving DH to do it. No weekends off. Few treats and days out. No holidays.

Stress, depression, financially stuffed, tears, tantrums, etc.

Really quite grim.

But I like making my brain work hard. I hate being stagnant. I get so bored.

TaggieCampbellBlack Sat 17-Nov-12 18:06:11

It didn't help that at the same time DD2 was struggling massively and we were going through the whole horrible assessment and diagnosis (ASD) bollocks.

ThreeWheelsGood Sat 17-Nov-12 18:08:12

Don't do it - trust his judgment! If my DH.wanted to go back and do a full-time full-on degree I wouldn't let him, he has tried and dropped out three times!

But maybe find something else eg learn a new language, take a short course. Not a Masters.

TENDTOprocrastinate Sat 17-Nov-12 18:10:32

Can you do a part time masters? Are you a SAHM?

If it was that awful perhaps you should find another course- less intense than a masters. It would be a bit selfish to put the family through all that again IMO.

mayorquimby Sat 17-Nov-12 18:13:10

Well it sounds like you acted very selfishly the last times so I'm with him on this one and can completely see why he objects

AMumInScotland Sat 17-Nov-12 18:13:21

Maybe there's something between a Masters and stagnation? Something that would give your brain the fix it craves without totally taking over the whole family's life? If I was your DH I'd be pretty worried about you taking on too much again if that's the level of stress and focus that it required before.

TaggieCampbellBlack Sat 17-Nov-12 18:14:24

But I then want to do a phd and be Dr Taggie blush

TaggieCampbellBlack Sat 17-Nov-12 18:15:23

He is right. But I don't want him to be.

TaggieCampbellBlack Sat 17-Nov-12 18:16:10

And it may have been hideously horrible but still the best thing I ever did.

Merrin Sat 17-Nov-12 18:39:46

Do it part time smile

BabyGiraffes Sat 17-Nov-12 18:58:25

I'm all in favour of doing degrees (I have three - not that it has done me any good) but what makes you think you will cope this time?
And I'd also look at part time taught masters. I did a part time residential weekend course (8 weekends over two years) which was quite do-able with a full time job (but before children).

quirrelquarrel Sat 17-Nov-12 19:02:49

I get a LOT of free time (1st year).....I'm wondering why it's not called "part time", really. I have three days a week, with either one or two lectures on the third day. Yes, it's a humanities subject- no, you probably wouldn't think it was mickey mouse....
Go for it OP! do it, do it
There are loads of MNers I think doing degrees while juggling homelife, you'll get support here....think what a great message you'll be sending to your kids, think how amazing you'll feel on a rare night when you've managed to nail a deadline and you're snuggled back with your kids and DP watching a fluffy'll be so worth it. You only get one life! This is when your brain is active and yearning for new stuff. Yeah, you could do it when you're 50/60 and your kids are all grown up and settled, but this is when you'll really profit from it.

quirrelquarrel Sat 17-Nov-12 19:03:51

Oh sorry, just realised it's an MA you're talking about, ignore the first bit I wrote! don't know what that's like.....

quirrelquarrel Sat 17-Nov-12 19:07:32

Learning a language on your own without a rigid course to guide you is hard enough without having a family to look after as well- very hard to not let it fall by the wayside unless you're extremely motivated at the thought of learning this language and dynamic, and I think if the OP was like that then she'd have come up with the idea of languages herself. A qualification at the end pulls you along, it's a goal, too much hangs on it to let it drop.

Goldmandra Sat 17-Nov-12 19:08:34

I was near the end of a Foundation Degree when ASD reared it's ugly head and in the three years since I have been fighting for support and provision for both DDs who are now dxed.

I am in awe of anyone who can finish a degree while their child is going through dx. I fell at the last hurdle - just couldn't think about a research project while fire fighting the ASD issues.

You have managed to stay on track at a very difficult time. You can do it again.

BOFingSanta Sat 17-Nov-12 19:12:31

Can't you just read a few books? Or better still, write one! I'd love to do a writing course.

mamij Sat 17-Nov-12 19:15:42

Or do a Rossetta Stone language course at home? Then you also have the added excuse bonus of going to that country (purely to use your newfound language skill of course!).

1605 Sat 17-Nov-12 19:21:21

Open University is your friend.

GobblersSparklyExplodingKnob Sat 17-Nov-12 19:24:00

quirrel, I am a first year too and doing easily 40 sometimes 50+ hours a week.....

The rest of my life has gone to shit grin

TaggieCampbellBlack Sat 17-Nov-12 19:24:10

It's the professional development bit I want. I need to fuel my passion. Rather than something random. Although one of these days i will learn italian and the harp.

Maybe something very part time and collect credits towards my phd.

quirrelquarrel Sat 17-Nov-12 19:38:15

Really Gobblers? are you at Oxbridge/Imperial or doing medicine/nursing/science or something! shock forty hours is a lot a lot!

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