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To inform the baggy combat wearing, makeup free and greasy ponytail club

(187 Posts)
LolaDontCryOverSlitThroats Sat 17-Nov-12 17:20:49

. . .who seem to think they are superior parents because of these attributions that they are in no way any better at parenting then i am with my make up on curled hair, slightly too tight jeans and a smile.

And announce that they probably do spend more time thinking about the way they look then putting ''that energy into playing with my children'' than they seem to think.

This is not a thread moaning about the people who dare to wear comfortable clothes and leave the house (i do too occasionally), or who are confident enough to go out without make up on because it matters not too them, but instead about those who declare it is ''because they are to busy to care and would rather play with the kids'' Passive aggressively or maybe those who roll there eyes and nudge there partner in there ribs with gusto if they see someone with a child in tow who fancied wearing high heels to Nandos.

anyone know what this is about?, doesn't the whole ''i'm so relaxed that i don't need to care what people think of me'' end up lost in the convincing everyone that they are doing there kids a favour by not wearing perfume and makeup.

Or is DS going to grow up sideways because of me for spending an extra ten minutes in the bedroom before DP goes to work? grin

LolaDontCryOverSlitThroats Sat 17-Nov-12 17:42:50

3b1g that is why i said This is not a thread moaning about the people who dare to wear comfortable clothes and leave the house (i do too occasionally), or who are confident enough to go out without make up on because it matters not too them

3b1g Sat 17-Nov-12 17:42:52

Sorry OP, cross-posted, I didn't mean to sound so harsh. It's just that your original post seemed to lump me in together with some people who have judged you, which I'm not in the habit of doing.

3b1g Sat 17-Nov-12 17:44:23

I would hold your head up high and ignore the judgy brigade. You know you are a good parent, so it doesn't matter what they think. All they are going on is random assumptions.

LolaDontCryOverSlitThroats Sat 17-Nov-12 17:46:01

I have a fair few times heard the putting ''that energy into playing with my children on mumsnet and the rest certainly happens in real life.

I think i am a bad thread maker and should quit blush

But i am certainly not making this up, promise.

thebody Sat 17-Nov-12 17:49:08

I can honestly say that in my 19 years as a school gate mom I have never heard any comments like this.

I would assume if did that the critical one was jealous.

I think it's probably generational, my gran, mom and me always wear slap and my dds have always been interested in appearance from an early age.

So what!!

LadyFlumpalot Sat 17-Nov-12 17:49:19

I have seen the following on Facebook, I think this is what you mean?

"I have swapped highlights for a pony tail, high heels for comfy shoes, trips to the spa for trips to play group, nights out for nights in and soaps for CBeebies blah blah blah"

That might not be entirely verbatim.

HoneyDragon Sat 17-Nov-12 17:49:57

I am perfectly capable of ignoring both my appearance and my children. I pity the management skills of people who can't do both. I really do sad

Mrsjay Sat 17-Nov-12 17:50:48

why do you even care what other people think why are you even worrying yourself about it, keep living your life how you want serioulsy nobody really and truly gives a shiny shit who wears what and if they do they are vain and shallow

LolaDontCryOverSlitThroats Sat 17-Nov-12 17:52:38

yes lady that sort of thing, i haven't seen that sort of post myself (yet), but it is that way of thinking i guess.

I just can't stand the thought that i am being judged on my parenting by my appearance because i wouldn't do it back the two aren't linked for me.

I know every poster will say just forget about it it's pointless thinking about it, but it does bother me and for that i guess my insecurity shows.

OhPantsAllTheGoodNicksAreInUse Sat 17-Nov-12 17:53:06

Don't worry Lola I do this often. I just don't start threads anymore grin

FWIW Today I made an effort, I washed my hair, blow dried it, put on my skinnies and boots, looked outside and thought 'yeah okay, I'm so not going out today@ I am currently sporting a leopard print onsie 3 pairs of slipper socks, full face of make up (tinted moisturiser/mascara/pinkish cheeks), hair done nice and going nowhere. grin

3b1g Sat 17-Nov-12 17:53:15

grin at Honeydragon. I have never put much effort into my appearance beyond making sure I look clean and presentable enough not to scare people. It's certainly not any kind of sacrifice I'm making in order to spend more time with my children. I haven't met anyone who claims this, but what are they expecting? House points?

LolaDontCryOverSlitThroats Sat 17-Nov-12 17:54:21

I am also aware that i will probably be told i am judging them on how they look because of my thread title, but it was just a description and so i can't possibly be held guilty grin

CarpeThingy Sat 17-Nov-12 17:54:33

Generally speaking, I get irritated by anyone who makes a value judgement out of their own personal preferences/circumstances - whether it's to do with appearance, food, work or anything else.

NoraGainesborough Sat 17-Nov-12 17:55:06

Two threads like this spring to mind.

One where a posters dd had just started school and she moaned about most of the parents. One left their child in the care of another mum so she could go to work, one swore and one was done up to the nines and was late everyday. except it transpired she wasn't late but just was't there for the door opening. The OP thought she spent too much time on her appearance and clearly didn't care about getting her child to school. There were other examples of women not caring about their kids at the school gates. I think it ended up being deleted.

Another was a poster who said that women who preened themselves were stupid and only took women seriously who didn't dye their hair.
here it is

bigbadbarry Sat 17-Nov-12 17:55:11

I cba to wear makeup unless I am going somewhere special. I spend the extra 20 minutes a day on here or on facebook.

OhPantsAllTheGoodNicksAreInUse Sat 17-Nov-12 17:55:19

So in one sentence what I am saying forget what other people say/think. Life is too short, I couldn't give a toss what people think..... smile

LolaDontCryOverSlitThroats Sat 17-Nov-12 17:57:01

honeydragon i salute you, positive role model if ever there was one grin

petrified of writing their incase i am disciplined again

Trills Sat 17-Nov-12 17:57:37

You are being unreasonable, mostly because I think that you are wholly imagining that anyone is judging you for wearing makeup.

lovelyladuree Sat 17-Nov-12 17:58:04

I get up at 6am to blow dry my hair, apply makeup and put on a dress and clippycloppy shoes. I run my business from home and I feel that I have to feel like I am going to work in order to get anything done. So, if that looks like I have made too much effort to do the school run, the so be it. My kids don't want to play at 6am however much I prod them.

NoraGainesborough Sat 17-Nov-12 17:58:09

Sorry posted too soon.

My point is there are many people as the OP describes. Those that choose not to wear make up, but look down on others. I know some in RL. They are quite funny to listen to though.

On the other hand there are plenty of women who do judge other women for not wearing makeup and doing their hair etc.

I am not sure why anyone cares what others look like. And why some women feel they have the right to tell other women how to look.

LolaDontCryOverSlitThroats Sat 17-Nov-12 17:59:20

I thnk i have managed to convey what i meant a bit better now, along with the help from most of you writing my thread for me but yes nora those are true to my experience, knew i was not completely paranoid.

LolaDontCryOverSlitThroats Sat 17-Nov-12 18:00:45

Nope not imagining it trills , possibly overthinking but it is not imagined read noras post.

Whatnowffs Sat 17-Nov-12 18:03:08

I do make hmm faces at the mums who pitch up to the school in full make-up and heels, not that we have many at our school, looking ready for a night on the tiles. I am one of the scruffy sort you describe, but its nothing to do with motherhood ive alway been a bit ofa scruff. I just think its more stylish to dress appropriately to the casual for the school run i think. Full slap for a night on the town. Thats just me, the mums who dress up for the school run look great, this is good too.

Tee2072 Sat 17-Nov-12 18:03:16

Honey and I are the same.

LolaDontCryOverSlitThroats Sat 17-Nov-12 18:05:15

So whatnow we must all dress smart/casual for the school run?, what if our definition differs, i might find my perspex platforms very casual.

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