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AIBU to not actually have a problem with this?

(59 Posts)
PurplePidjin Sat 17-Nov-12 17:08:29

DP just got a text inviting him out for a curry for a mate's birthday. Mate has been through a rough time lately, the meal is fairly local to us and is a week night. DP is an occasional, sensible drinker.

However, if PidjChick hasn't already made an appearance i will be 41+4. If he has, chances are we'll have a very tiny newborn.

I said to tentatively accept - unless I'm actually in labour or full-on sobbing with hormones, i think he should go and have fun for a couple of hours. This is our first, and i have family and friends nearby.

AIB either U or completely naive?

picnicbasketcase Sat 17-Nov-12 17:09:09

Nope, sounds fair enough.

MrsWolowitz Sat 17-Nov-12 17:11:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

milkysmum Sat 17-Nov-12 17:12:02

I think this would be fine- baby won't suddenly fall out- he would have plenty of time to get back if you went into labour! If baby is here and tiny then you make the decision at that time but I imagine you would still be fine with him going out for a few hours?

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Sat 17-Nov-12 17:12:36

Nope, I'd be happy for him to go unless I was actively in labour on the night.

Princessishavingababyboo Sat 17-Nov-12 17:14:15

He you have not had the baby I would say he should go, not drink and have his phone fully charged. If you have had the little one, see how you and he feels, he might not want to go out.

Good luck with the baby.

PurplePidjin Sat 17-Nov-12 17:17:23

He'll be no more than 30 minutes drive away. If PidjChick shows up on time, dp may well be back at work by then anyway (not been there long enough for paid paternity so been saving up AL) and I'll have to have learned to cope.

Tbh, he gets stressed if he doesn't go out running (1-1.5 hours, same week night) so i would encourage him to do that anyway.

Just wondering how many people would find it odd/hard/not trust their OH etc smile

TheDetective Sat 17-Nov-12 17:39:23

I wouldn't have a problem with it.

I'm 42 weeks today, and my DP went to watch Twilight last night don't ask with my full encouragement!

If he has to leave mid meal - he has to leave. Even if you have a tiny baby, a couple of hours away wouldn't worry me either. In fact, I'd enjoy a bit of peace alone with the baby wink.

But everyone is different, and it is up to you if you are comfortable with it or not!

MyDaydream Sat 17-Nov-12 17:42:36

No problems letting my DP go out for a curry as long as I wasn't in labour, he's sensible and dependable which is why I'm having a baby with him. I'd probably invite someone over for a takeaway to keep me company or enjoy the peace and quiet, have a bath and watch something crap on TV!

MikeLitoris Sat 17-Nov-12 17:43:53

I actively encouraged dp to go out even when i was way past my edd. I couldnt think of anything worse than having him cluck over me all the time.

I also suggested it would be a good jdea for him to pop to the pub for a few when she was a few days old.

Dd and i had some much needed cwtchy time. We went up to bed and watched a film.

I miss those days <sigh>

TheDetective Sat 17-Nov-12 17:44:24

In fact, I just remembered, I was having pains 1:5 when I packed him off to the cinema last night! But then I've had 7 false starts now, so I was hoping sods law and all that... haha!

NoraGainesborough Sat 17-Nov-12 17:47:05

Personally i would let him go unless I was in labour.

I don't get the 'don't let him go out if you have a newborn'. I would love to know why not?

Dh wasn't there every night when I had mine. Mainly because if work but sometimes for fun. But I know dh would have gone on a lads night out if the baby was particularity bad that evening (both mine had colic).

Its about been considerate of eachother. I could have gone out if i wanted. and tbh I quite liked having the evening to myself.

DH is at work now til 1am. Can't wait to get kiddies to bed. smile

Indith Sat 17-Nov-12 17:50:12

I'd be fine with it so long as he had his phone on and didn't drink.

Ragwort Sat 17-Nov-12 17:54:11

No problem at all (unless you were actually about to give birth grin) but I am not the best person to answer as I positively love time alone and my DH and I have always spent lots of time apart, we both have lots of interests and activities that we do outside the home and we agree who will be looking after our DS - have done this ever since he was born smile.

MissChristmastRee Sat 17-Nov-12 18:01:14

I would have given anything to get DP out if my hair for a few hours when DD was newborn so I could have her all to myself grin

I'm of the "unless you're in labour..." Brigade! I would ask him not to have any alcohol though just in case you do go into labour and need him to drive you.

PurplePidjin Sat 17-Nov-12 18:04:07

This thread is restoring my faith in half the population! I thought i was going to get a stream of tales of "Oh no, i couldn't let my p/h out of my sight in case he got slammered and rolled in at 3am"

I've been reading too much in Relationships, clearly!

MyLastDuchess Sat 17-Nov-12 18:08:19

Sounds fine to me (my EDD with DC2 is today).

My SIL has just yesterday had a baby, in a town about 2 hours from here. I won't be going to visit before I have my baby, but I've encouraged DP to go if he wants to. He will go by train, but if he needs to get back in a hurry my FIL will drive him so I don't see the drama. Otherwise it could be ages before we get to go, our baby might not be here for a few weeks yet!

People tend to be pretty flexible when it comes to pregnancy so I'm sure if your DP does have to cancel the dinner at the last moment as you're in labour, his friend won't mind at all. Likewise if you are at home and don't feel like you want to be left alone with the new baby for whatever reason.

ErikNorseman Sat 17-Nov-12 18:09:27

As long as he understands that he can't get actual drunk, and he must be prepared to abandon meal and run home if you are having a newborn meltdown, then even if the baby is here it will be fine.

pictish Sat 17-Nov-12 18:11:24

Sounds sensible to me!

I kwym though. Those I-am-pregnant-so-that-makes-me-the-boss-of-the-world posts really get on my tits.

PurplePidjin Sat 17-Nov-12 18:16:38

Ha, we're off to the in laws tomorrow 2 hours away - if it weren't for my insomnia/tiredness we'd have gone overnight (38+2)! Mind you, the hospital is 40 minutes in that direction so we're not that far away.

Terrywoganstrousers Sat 17-Nov-12 18:18:12

I'm currently 34 weeks pg, DP has a boys night out planned for when I am 37 weeks, and we also have what would normally be a very boozy meal the same week. I have told him he is very welcome to go, but I would be happier if he didn't drink and drove himself to the boys night out, so that if I need him he can get back fairly quickly.
The meal we are going to together, I will drive, so DP can have a couple of drinks and enjoy the wine, but he is going to remain on two-three drinks so if I go into labour, although we'll have to get a taxi, he will still be able to support me. He is happy with these arrangements, especially as he is going for a final blowout with the rugby boys next weekend and is staying in a hotel so he can come in as pissed as he likes and snore all night without bothering me grin

yani Sat 17-Nov-12 18:28:59

Hi Pidj grin
Is the meal for just the two of them?
Does the friend know dp may have to cancel at last minute?
Chances are you'll be snuggling up to babypidj, and will either be glad for a few hours alone with a newborn....... Or a little hormonal maybe, possibly!
Great that dp considered you & great that his friend thinks so highly of him.

DontmindifIdo Sat 17-Nov-12 18:32:10

Well, as long as your DH is the sort to say "no, I'm not drinking" and not be easily led, then I see no problem with it, I'd have no problem with DH going out if I was due but not have the baby. That said, once the baby had arrived, I was a hormonal, sleep deprived reck, and he was also struggling with lack of sleep, so the idea of a night out probably would'nt have appealled...

Clarella Sat 17-Nov-12 18:32:59

I think totally fine - if baby making appearance right then, then obviously friend will be fine with that. Also if your dp is anything like mine he'll be getting anxious himself by then and not being a huge drinker id trust him. If baby has arrived see how things are and as you say, family nearby to visit that eve if nec.

PurplePidjin Sat 17-Nov-12 18:36:01

Most I've ever seen him drink is a g+t then glass or two of wine with dinner. He might have had a 3rd pint once when we were in the pub watching a band and I was bolloxed I packed him off to a car show a month or so back so he could have One Last Fling, he stuck to tea and hot chocolate! (camping in October brrrrr)

Meal is a group effort, and mate knows I'm pg - he's a dad himself, going through a messy divorce, so needs a bit of support iyswim. If necessary I'll get him to drop me at my parents' on his way out smile

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