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A shopkeeper hit my baby

(193 Posts)
LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:06:33

Firstly, we're not in the UK, and here people to beat smack their kids. It is socially normal.

DD (17 months) had a bit of a breakdown in the chemists. She was tired and hungry. I was holding her and a few things at the checkout. She grabbed something and threw it on the floor and screamed. I was just about to pay, so couldn't really leave. She grabbed my neck and clawed me, then bit my shoulder. The shop assistant rang up the amout, then insisted on the correct change, which delayed things further, DD still screaming. She put the stuff in a bag, handed it to me, them smacked DD on the arm. Not hard, but deliberately. At this point she was screaming but not hurting or grabbing.

I didn't know what to do. I just glared at her and walked off. DD carried on screaming.

What should I have done? WIBU to walk off, or should I have said something?

LoopsInHoops Sun 18-Nov-12 23:26:02

smile Hope that sorts it. smile

ripsishere Sun 18-Nov-12 22:14:26

Loops, it's fine. Not great yet, but OK.
We are going to move next August. Fortunately, DH wouldn't sign a two year lease on our flat so we are out on August 6th. I've my eye on a nicer block.

LoopsInHoops Sun 18-Nov-12 14:44:10

Thanks all of you for your advice and humour. Snoopy, you made me laugh so much, thank you. smile

AlienRefluxovermypoppy Sun 18-Nov-12 13:15:57

*Am sniggering a bit at the righteous indignation of someone who works for an oil company berating the OP for taking advantage of the locals in KL.

Cause, you know - working for an oil company in Dubai gives her the moral high ground.*

And, I would have done the same OP, walked out then fumed and wondered and deliberated!! It is a foreign country, and like others have said, they tend to be much more full on with regard to 'helping' with others children!
If it happens again, which it may well do, just say ' I don't smack, and don't like others to, thanks anyway' but I would try and keep her out of hands way in future, oh and well done for handling the clearly barking on here smile

BarbecuedBillygoats Sun 18-Nov-12 12:28:51

I want to nominate this for weirdest thread of the week

LadyMaryChristmas Sun 18-Nov-12 12:08:08

grin Ds takes my old law books to bed with him as they help him to sleep!

GlaikitFizzog Sun 18-Nov-12 10:57:25

I admit, the slander/libel info came from DH who is a legal and I merely asked "slander is spoken, libel Is written isn't it?" I've just asked him again giving context and just about fell asleep at the answer! But he basically agrees with what ladymary said smile

MmeLindor Sun 18-Nov-12 08:22:22

Am sniggering a bit at the righteous indignation of someone who works for an oil company berating the OP for taking advantage of the locals in KL.

Cause, you know - working for an oil company in Dubai gives her the moral high ground.

CordeliaChase Sun 18-Nov-12 03:18:23

OP I would've done the same. I'd have walked out shocked and seethed over all the things I should have done in that situation. If you're DD was unhurt I'd just chalk it up to experience. You can be on the lookout for it happening again.

For the oil and had argument, there are lots of oil companies out in Dubai. Pretty sure Pegasus opened up a branch out there a few years ago, and it wouldn't surprise me if airenergi were also out there. Snoopy could quite easily be a recruiter for an oil and gas recruitment company, which would cover the aforementioned companies as well as a few SThree companies who jumped on the bandwagon. Lots of them out there now. Doesn't make you a professional. %23justsaying

TiredBooyhoo Sun 18-Nov-12 01:28:14

oh dear. this went a bit tits up didn't it?

anyway OP in your shoes i think i would have reacted exactly the same as you did. you were in shock. in my head i'd like to think i would have said "please dont smack my child" but in reality as a previous very wise poster said, in a foreign country everything is different and you have to think of what is the best way of getting your dd out of there with the least upset. i'd say you managed that. anything else would have been likely to create more tension or even agression and your dd was already fretting. you needed to get her out and you probably needed to exhale yourself after the whole thing. FWIW your dd mightn't even remember it happening if she was that wound up by herself. i hope she doesn't. i wouldn't go back to the shop either.

Ah, but it's only libel if you live in the country and pay 38% tax, and dress like a local in a top hat and monocle, and eat crumpets and cucumber sandwiches at 4pm everyday and drink tea with your pinkie finger poking out.

Otherwise you are an outsider can just jolly well suck it up.


LadyMaryChristmas Sun 18-Nov-12 01:03:51

Yup, very soon. As far as things go, online sites publish comments from users, which make the comments libel if they are of this nature. The amendments to the act remove some of the liability off the sites in return for the details of the offender being handed over. It's not great for sites which value the anonymity of its users.

Thumbwitch Sun 18-Nov-12 01:00:13

Fanks, LadyMary! I knew it was a mess. Didn't know it was sorted though. smile

LadyMaryChristmas Sun 18-Nov-12 00:58:52

It's libel, thumb smile The laws regarding this are getting an overhaul in the UK at the moment, so it's a bit of a mess. It should be a bit clearer once the amendments to the defamation act come into force.

LadyMaryChristmas Sun 18-Nov-12 00:56:30

Talk about overstepping the mark though. I'm so pleased she's OK. smile

Thumbwitch Sun 18-Nov-12 00:56:04

Glaikit - I'm not sure whether it's been resolved as to whether defamation on a chat forum constitutes slander or libel - I have a vague recollection that there was some debate over it! Something to do with the transitory nature of the chat forum being more akin to conversation, and therefore more like slander. But OTOH, it is written down so could still be libel.

Does anyone else know?

LoopsInHoops Sun 18-Nov-12 00:53:31

Ah, she's fine. I wasn't so much horrified, just surprised really. It didn't hurt, but was unexpected.

LadyMaryChristmas Sun 18-Nov-12 00:49:37


There's no need for anyone to do that though, you must have been horrified. Is she OK?

LoopsInHoops Sun 18-Nov-12 00:48:13

I know who you are lovely, I've clocked you already wink

LadyMaryChristmas Sun 18-Nov-12 00:47:39

Poor little one. I hope she's OK. sad

(Twas Sybil)

LoopsInHoops Sun 18-Nov-12 00:44:05

S/he is in Dubai, not here. S/he is lying when s/he says s/he has lived here. I don't believe that for a moment. A money obsessed oil employee working in a taxable state thinking it's tax free? Nah.

Bet yes, I'll ask around, see what others think. But I won't be going back there, either to complain or to shop. Was just a bit odd. (Much like this thread)

Rip, how are you getting on anyway? Everything going smoothly?

ripsishere Sun 18-Nov-12 00:25:03

BTW, it did go a bit bats hit for a while.
Snoopy, are you Petronas? I can't think of any other oil derivative firm here.
I always use Petronas, it's at the top of my road.

ripsishere Sun 18-Nov-12 00:23:50

OP, I believe you. we live in Selangor, so not a million miles from you. Yesterday at a wedding, a child was being admonished by his father. With the flat of his hand. It wasn't nice.
I think Mme Lindor has the best advice. Ever.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Sat 17-Nov-12 22:20:50

Baffled! Sorry OP your thread fell down a rabbit hole...

solittletime Sat 17-Nov-12 22:20:46

Op fwiw I have lived in Africa in countries were smacking is acceptable and barely given a second thought, as well as touching and picking up a child spontaneously.

But I am pretty sure smacking someone else's child while the child is in mother's arms would not have gone down well. People were equally aware that foreigners had different views on smacking and respected that cultural difference.
If it is still bothering you I would just ask your local friends if that kind of thing is seen as ok and ask their advice.

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