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A shopkeeper hit my baby

(193 Posts)
LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:06:33

Firstly, we're not in the UK, and here people to beat smack their kids. It is socially normal.

DD (17 months) had a bit of a breakdown in the chemists. She was tired and hungry. I was holding her and a few things at the checkout. She grabbed something and threw it on the floor and screamed. I was just about to pay, so couldn't really leave. She grabbed my neck and clawed me, then bit my shoulder. The shop assistant rang up the amout, then insisted on the correct change, which delayed things further, DD still screaming. She put the stuff in a bag, handed it to me, them smacked DD on the arm. Not hard, but deliberately. At this point she was screaming but not hurting or grabbing.

I didn't know what to do. I just glared at her and walked off. DD carried on screaming.

What should I have done? WIBU to walk off, or should I have said something?

GhostShip Sat 17-Nov-12 16:26:48

I believe in hit and hit back.

Don't compare me to someone who hits a child for no reason.

Floggingmolly Sat 17-Nov-12 16:27:55

What did you actually do at the time? Surely you didn't just turn on your heel and walk out without a word? confused

Dominodonkey Sat 17-Nov-12 16:28:04

While this behaviour by the shop assistant was unacceptable and rather bizarre you are mistaken in thinking that smacking is not common in Britain. Plenty of people smack their kids. It's only in the world of mumsnet where people feel that parents who smack are worse than Hitler or Pol Pot.

snooopy Sat 17-Nov-12 16:30:21

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:30:47

I did. blush I looked at her in shock, frowned and left. Then stood outside thinking 'shit! What just happened there? What should I have done?' Then thought some more and came on here to see if anyone could tell me what I should have done.

You're right, either I should leave the country hmm or I should have said something at the time. There's no way I would have hit her!

JaquelineHyde Sat 17-Nov-12 16:30:57

Snoopy what the hell are you blithering on about. The tax that the OP pays or doesn't pay has nothing to do with this!

LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:32:59

Snoopy, why are you purposefully trying to upset me? Is there something lacking in your life? Do you have a chip on your shoulder about people working abroad? Was daddy away a lot and forgot your birthday or something? Seriously, no-one likes nasty people.

LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:33:39

Ps (not that it should matter to you) I pay more tax and earn less here.

Whatnowffs Sat 17-Nov-12 16:34:38

Well I certainly don't smack my DD domino!!!! hmm

If another person laid a finger on my child, i don't honestly know what i would do but i would have probably gone absolutely ballistic, id like to think i woudlnt lamp them one, but i can't say 100% that i wouldn't. It wouldn't be the right thing to do but no-one lays a finger on my child, no-one!

WorraLiberty Sat 17-Nov-12 16:35:01

well hopefully the lack of 40% tax will help you decide what to do. presumably nobody forced you to live in a tax free country?

What the fuckety fuck does that have to do with anything?

LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:35:19

And (in case you're too stupid to work it out yourself, which strikes me as plausible), the question I'm really asking is, 'is this the cultural norm?' I know smacking at home is, but is this? I really don't think so, but I can't be sure as this is the first time I've experienced it.

SugarplumMary Sat 17-Nov-12 16:35:47

Never use the shop again or go in person and complain very loudly to manager and explain you were to shocked at the time to do so or write to head office stating store, time of day and describe the shop assistant and what happened.

If anything liked that happens again make a scene - let your DC know that its not acceptable for a stanger to assult her. At very least that will make it clear to that shop assistant that such behavior is not to be done to your DC again.

I think that much would be the same as in the UK.

LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:35:59


GhostShip Sat 17-Nov-12 16:36:12

Snoopy what the hell are you blithering on about. The tax that the OP pays or doesn't pay has nothing to do with this!


snooopy Sat 17-Nov-12 16:36:28

One expat to another, if you don't like it,leave. KL has great expats and miserablerbilnessess, it is what you make it and shock horror it isn't bloody surrey. We are all making our way

slartybartfast Sat 17-Nov-12 16:36:51

I DOubt it was a hard smack. i think you are getting on your high horse about nothing. and i think you were wrong to glare at shop keeper. tis a differnt country/different attitude. and it was on the arm, not around the face. . and as for hitting her back ... jeez.

slartybartfast Sat 17-Nov-12 16:37:08

you are being precious.

Whatnowffs Sat 17-Nov-12 16:37:28

I also can't promise i woudlnt have done exactly what you did too loops. Is your DD OK? im sure she is fine. I would probably make a complaint to the manager though. Its not acceptable. I know you are in a different culture and to a degree have to adopt a "when in rome" stance, but I think that this was unacceptable.

LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:37:47

I love it here, as it happens. I don't really like this three minute episode of it. hmm Does that mean I should leave?

Ps let me know where you are so I can avoid it.

LoopsInHoops Sat 17-Nov-12 16:38:35

She's fine, it wasn't hard. But it was a shock (to me, not shocking enough to stop her screeching!)

snooopy Sat 17-Nov-12 16:38:45

I lived there for 4 years and never encountered the abuse that you are talking about

JaquelineHyde Sat 17-Nov-12 16:39:50

GhostShip your attitude to violence is ridiculous but I suspect you already know that.

I just hope you don't end up hitting someone one day who happens to carry a knife of some kind. Or do you also believe in stab and stab back and then everything is fine?

Anyway sorry OP. The lady in the shop shouldn't have laid a finger on your DD and I understand you just leaving the shop as you must have been feeling really harrassed. Ring up and make a complaint and never shop there again.

onetiredmummy Sat 17-Nov-12 16:39:55

Sounds to me like the girl just snapped, your DD was screaming all the time which is annoying if you're not used to it. Especially if she wasn't feeling well/hungover/ poorly ears etc

Don't use the shop again & let it go.

Dominodonkey Sat 17-Nov-12 16:40:19

Well I certainly don't smack my DD domino!!!!

Please read my post, I said plenty of people do, not everyone does.

WorraLiberty Sat 17-Nov-12 16:40:21

I lived there for 4 years and never encountered the abuse that you are talking about

And boiled eggs are runny

But again, what does that have to do with the OP's situation?

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