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I know IAB (a bit) U - more of a long rant, sorry

(3 Posts)
MyLastDuchess Sat 17-Nov-12 15:37:43

Today is my EDD with DC2, and no sign of her yet.

Like many if not most women I am pretty fed up by this stage - chronically tired, not sleeping well, walking is painful, hands are numb from carpal tunnel blah blah. Nothing out of the ordinary. Also spent 3 tiring afternoons this week in hospital for heart trace/scans for reduced movement (nobody is very worried due to anterior placenta making it hard to feel much, but to be on the safe side obviously it's best to get checked out).

In other words, nothing out of the ordinary, just a bit of a bore. In addition, I am also quite nervous about labour due to a bad experience with DC1, plus yesterday my poor SIL had a crash Caesarian section with her 3rd child when she had been hoping for a VBAC ... all went well in the end, as in she and the baby are both healthy, but I feel sad for her and it brought back memories of not being able to see my own DC1 for quite a few hours after the birth. It's not about me, but under the circumstances I was a bit upset for her and rather teary.

Anyway to get to the point: DP is a lovely man and works hard both at home and outside it (I am the main breadwinner but he works more hours). He needs and deserves his time off. But FFS why does he think it's ok to go and leave me stuck at home with DC1 when I can't go out - we live on the 5th floor, no lift, so haven't been able to take DC1 out with me for quite a few weeks now - and not tell me where he's going or when he'll be back without a game of 20 questions?

Why does he not realise by now that even being half an hour later than expected can be a big deal for me when I'm really tired and stuck here with DC1?

He does heaps of the child care but he clearly doesn't understand how stir-crazy I feel by now, as when he is with DC1 they can go to the shop together or go to the park/get some fresh air. Whereas if I am here with DC1 and there's no bread left, for example, then I just have to do without, I have no hope of getting DC1 back up the stairs if he's not in the mood, or picking him up if he has a tantrum.

DP is definitely not having an affair - he doesn't have time to! But FFS why can't he see that I would really appreciate a bit of adult company rather than being stuck at home looking after a toddler without the faintest clue when he will be back? I know it won't be more than about 2 hours but that just feels like an eternity to me at this stage! angryangryangry

Euphemia Sat 17-Nov-12 15:39:33

Have you told him explicitly what you need?

MyLastDuchess Sat 17-Nov-12 15:44:21

Well, yes and no (which I guess means no!). I have made it clear several, if not many, times that I need to know when he'll be back when he goes out (I always do the same mind you, I'm not asking anything I wouldn't do myself). However, I didn't say to him, "No, I don't want you to go out." I do feel that he has a need for a bit of fresh air just as much as I do. And truth be told I am not the most scintillating company at the moment.

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