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For asking bf to get tested for HIV?

(96 Posts)
ekojem Sat 17-Nov-12 14:38:49

Split up with my bf 5 years ago and we got back together two months ago (through fb).

Since we split up he has gone travelling every winter to Thailand and Cambodia. I've seen photos on his fb with plenty of local girls there draped over him, one even feeding him grapes! I've read you can pay these women to stay with you for weeks or even marry you if you give them money.

Also, he told me when he goes there (he usually stays 2 or 3 months) he smokes crystal meth. I read up about it as I was worried about him smoking that stuff and it said it makes you very horny that you will shag anything as you are out of your mind on drugs.

AIBU to ask him to have an HIV test before we sleep together again? We haven't had sex yet because he won't wear a condom. He keeps refusing to go for STI checks. I can't help thinking he is hiding something? He has also refused to tell me about the girls in the photos.

He is going back there in December for two months (he booked it ages ago), should I trust him to stay faithful?

Thanks Jem

WorraLiberty Sat 17-Nov-12 14:40:42


onetiredmummy Sat 17-Nov-12 14:41:37

Yes to test

No to trust


scentednappyhag Sat 17-Nov-12 14:42:23

... No. Just... No.

FannyFifer Sat 17-Nov-12 14:42:40

RUN, RUN for the hills & keep running!

WTF are you thinking, seriously get a grip and ditch this fucking waste if space.

ErikNorseman Sat 17-Nov-12 14:43:00

Omg where to start
He goes on holidays to Thailand and has sex with prostitutes
He smokes crystal meth
He refuses to use a condom or get an Sti test
What on earth are you doing with this 'prize'?
If you insist on sleeping with him then be wise and use a condom. I'm 99% sure he won't be faithful on his little 'trips' and even if he was, his attitude stinks. My real advice though is bin the twat.

thumper1806 Sat 17-Nov-12 14:43:44

YANBU to be concerned re the risk of STI, with any partner who refuses to wear a condom, regardless of anything else.

FermezLaBouche Sat 17-Nov-12 14:44:00

I'm going to hazard a guess and suggest you can do better than this individual.

NoraGainesborough Sat 17-Nov-12 14:45:36

Forget the possible sti's or return visit

Do you want to be with a druggie who uses prostitutes? Please don't convince yourself that these women are anything but poor desperate women who are (more than likely) forced into prostituting themselves.

Really, you want to be with him?

B1ueberryS0rbet Sat 17-Nov-12 14:45:46


What thumper says. and what fermezlabouche says.

honeytea Sat 17-Nov-12 14:48:26

Are you sure he uses prostitues? Could he just have sex with local girls who are wanting to have sex with him?

As for the STI tests absolutely you both should have them done before you have unprotected sex.

Tweasels Sat 17-Nov-12 14:48:29


GobblersSparklyExplodingKnob Sat 17-Nov-12 14:49:47


Please don't do it.

Run for the hills and find your self a man who is not a total fucking cock more worthy of you.

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz Sat 17-Nov-12 14:50:53

Why the FUCK would you want to get involved with someone who smokes crystal meth and 'shags anything'??!!

Do you need your head read or something? This doesn't so much set out red flags as a fucking nuclear war siren.

Are you that desperate to be with a man that you can't walk away from this? Do you have low self esteem?

He hasn't even cancelled his upcoming shagathon in Thailand despite apparently being your 'boyfriend'. WTactualF?!

Signet2012 Sat 17-Nov-12 14:50:55

With a bit of luck his dick will turn green and fall off saving you or anybody else the risk of his irresponsible behaviour.

Must say, sounds like right catch (!)

dashoflime Sat 17-Nov-12 14:51:30

YANBU to insist on a STI test. I have been asked to do this on the past and haven't minded AT ALL.
However, If he is shagging around as much as you suspect he is, you need a condom as well.
Also: he sounds like a twat.

ENormaSnob Sat 17-Nov-12 14:52:00


Get some self respect.

Juustanothermnetter Sat 17-Nov-12 14:53:27

That's disgusting, sorry but crystal meth, payIng (presumably) for sex, no std check, no condoms (I presume the same applies with all the other women). Run FAST!

GhostShip Sat 17-Nov-12 14:54:43

Do you know what crystal meth is?! What the actual fuck. It's a scummy drug. You'll think so when his teeth start falling out.

And why on earth would you want to be with him if you think he's shaggin elsewhere?

Get some self esteem OP and fuck him off. He obviously has no respect for you

stargirl1701 Sat 17-Nov-12 14:55:18

YABU. The question should AIBU to avoid this bloke for the rest of my life?!!!

honeytea Sat 17-Nov-12 14:55:28

Do remember that even if he has an HIV test after his trip away it wont mean he is clear from HIV I think you need 6 months to a year to have a 99% clear result, the virus can not show up in big enough levels to show up before then. So even if he does have a test make sure you still use condoms for a year and then retest.

WorraLiberty Sat 17-Nov-12 14:56:52

He sounds like a wonderful, wholesome man.

Just the type you'd want to show off to your parents and friends...

Whocansay Sat 17-Nov-12 14:58:23

Run like fuck.

DumSpiroSpero Sat 17-Nov-12 14:59:00

YANBU to insist he gets tested.

I'm not entirely sure you're being reasonable in wanting to be with this bloke though tbh.

GilbGeekette Sat 17-Nov-12 14:59:11

My first ever biscuit mejoke ekojem

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