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To think its bloody typical DH has a migraine...

(34 Posts)
IShallCallYouSquishy Sat 17-Nov-12 12:30:05

When I asked him during the week if he would have DD while I have an afternoon to myself to do Xmas shopping.

Ok, I know he can't help a migraine and they are horrible things to suffer, and I know there are more weekends I can do my shopping, but I was looking forward to it. Waaaah! Where's my toys so I can throw them out the cot?

I honestly never go out without DD for more then 45 mins as she's only just stopped refusing bottles and is back to sleeping well again. I'd written a list and everything sad

Ok, whinge and whine over. Just wanted to moan.

Strix Mon 19-Nov-12 13:43:37

But if you had someone else available and they said they wanted to go shopping...

Pinkforever Mon 19-Nov-12 13:06:12

I have suffered from horrendous migraines since I was a teenager. Never stopped me looking after my dcs because I had no choice....

Strix Mon 19-Nov-12 12:56:05

If my DH wanted me to look after the kids when I had a migraine because he wanted to go shopping, I'd never ever think that was reasonable.

Migraines are so horrible... so so horrible. YABU.

BarbecuedBillygoats Sun 18-Nov-12 11:08:38

Indeed thumb
Will be talking to my gp for sure

Thumbwitch Sun 18-Nov-12 01:05:00

So that's 3 people just on this thread whose migraines have improved/stopped with BP meds. Interesting! Perhaps it's worth asking your GPs, those of you who are still suffering, if you can try it, if you haven't already? No doubt it won't work for everyone (nothing does) but it might be something worth trying.

Migrain varies in it's intensity and duration. Those of you who have migrains you can work through are lucky not to get the ones where anything but horizontality is the only physical option.

My husband suffered them for 50 years. He is a tough old bugger and usually managed to carry on but occasionally he would have one of such magnitude that normal life was impossible. Throwing up, distorted vision, hallucinations...the full Monty.

Medication for hypertension stopped them.

Now we just have to deal with the arthritis, tinitus, deafness and general awkward old sod syndrome.

IShallCallYouSquishy Sat 17-Nov-12 18:51:06

Oh and no family around so wasn't an option.

IShallCallYouSquishy Sat 17-Nov-12 18:50:10

dita that's very sweet of you grin

I'm no annoyed that he has a migraine and shouldn't of come across that way, it's more of a "typical of my luck"

He perked up a bit this evening and I had the joy of sainsburys on my own! At least I got out! He also said he knows I wanted to go shopping and will have her on his own for afternoon next Saturday AND will take her out for hour or so tomorrow if he's better so I can have house to myself to veg out.

And before anyone says he shouldn't be doing it as favour etc, he isn't!

CaliforniaLeaving Sat 17-Nov-12 16:23:26

Poor guy, I can see why you are a bit miffed at the change in plans, but also that theres nothing he can do about it either.
I'm a migraine sufferer too, but have some great meds so long as I take them when I feel it starting. Even then there are days where I take to the bed and leave Dh to it, if he's not here I pretty much lay on the couch and pray for death while Dd nurses me back to health.
If he gets them fairly often I'd recommend a trip to the doc to see what can be done. No one should have to suffer though this on a regular basis if medication could help.

ditavonteesed Sat 17-Nov-12 15:46:20

obviously not everyone has a choice, but it is not ideal, I couldnt fake the migraines I have, I cant even move without throwing up from the pain and while I have managed while dh gets home from work I wouldnt be a safe person to be in sole charge of a baby. However your right if I had to I would, howev er iop's dh doesnt have to, I would be so angry if dh went out and left me with the kids while I was in that state, luckily for me my body seems to have developed the abilty to hold on until we are somehwre safe and another adult is there before it goes completely.
however op I stll think you desreve some sympathy if you have been looking forward to a bit of time on your own, do you have any family around that would like to have dd for an hour while you go for a coffe and a wander or something (if you were here Id have her) more people are willing to help than you think, you just have to ask sometimes.

SweetSeraphim Sat 17-Nov-12 15:31:44

I'm a migraine sufferer, but I still have to look after my children! All sounds a bit convenient to me, tbh.

Can you go tomorrow instead? After a day in bed, he should be feeling much better hmm

Ghostsgowoooh Sat 17-Nov-12 15:15:49

Flamin I can trump your migraine woes grinTry bringing up four dc on your own and suffering with migraines. Now that is hell on earth. My 10 year old looked after my 5 year old and my 2 year old for a day last week because there was no one else as I was in a dark room with cold compress, fighting nausea and I just couldnt move, it was horrible.

If I can get someone there I do, their dad was working that day.

I wouldnt wish a migraines on my worst enemy

ArkadyRose Sat 17-Nov-12 13:39:52

BarbecuedBillygoats No, I think flamin's follow-up to my comment pretty much makes her opinion quite clear.

IShallCallYouSquishy Sat 17-Nov-12 13:39:51

Oh, and as he's asthmatic he's very limited with medication as most aren't suitable for asthma sufferers and he most certainly didn't "just develop it". I heard and then saw the throwing up. Nice!

IShallCallYouSquishy Sat 17-Nov-12 13:37:47

Eeek, go away for a bit and there's an argument!

DH occasionally suffers but when he does they are horrible. Can't move without feeling sick, can't open his eyes unless very dim room. I honestly wouldn't wish it on anyone. And whilst I'm luckily not to be a sufferer if I was, or ill with anything else there would be no question about him doing majority of childcare for the day. I wild just do feeds, as said before she's been a complete bottle refuser and only just started taking occasional one (that I'd have to express anyway).

I didn't ask his permission, it was more a courtesy saying "I want to pop out for a bit Saturday afternoon so you will have DD on your own if that's ok?" rather then "here's the baby, I'm fucking off for a few hours" As I know I'd be mightily pissed of if he did that! It's a big thing for me leaving her too as I've never really done it before. We usually do things as a family at weekends so never really needed to.

He does not shirk his responsibilities, loves his little girl to bits and is a brilliant dad.

I was just having a moan that it's typical it's the weekend I was hoping to do something.


BarbecuedBillygoats Sat 17-Nov-12 13:36:37


I think flamin was trying to point out not everybody has a choice.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Sat 17-Nov-12 13:31:05

Gosh, so much nastiness just because I find it too convenient that a father who needs to be asked to look after his own child develops a migraine the one time he agrees to do it.

DowagersHump Sat 17-Nov-12 13:24:18

Can you go tomorrow instead?

ArkadyRose Sat 17-Nov-12 13:22:37

Thumbwitch Not all migraines respond to preventitive medicine; not everyone can take preventitive medicine - due to other meds they're taking, etc. I couldn't take most of the more effective ones myself because I was on lithium (obviously not now whilst PG), and the ones that I could take just didn't work over half the time. It depends on what's causing the migraines - amd unfortunately 9 times out of 10 there's no obvious apparent cause so you ust have to play medication roulette trying different drugs & combinations, hoping you find one that works and has tolerable side effects that aren't just as bad as the migraines in their own way.

Flamin, not everyone is the same is you. If you managed to cope singlehanded with kids whilst migraines, then bully for you - but you don't get to act morally superior just because not everyone else can do the same. You're not any better than OP's DH - you're just different. That's all.

susiedaisy Sat 17-Nov-12 13:19:23

Didn't have raised bp but was given meds anyway as an attempt to stop the migraines and it has significantly reduced them thank god!smile

Thumbwitch Sat 17-Nov-12 13:11:53

Interesting Susie - did you have raised BP for long?

whois Sat 17-Nov-12 13:06:37

"I can only assume you have never had a migraine flamin,

Don't assume anything. I've suffered from chronic migraines since I was 19. Still managed to raise my daughter singlehandedly."

But if you didn't HAVE to look after DC while having a migraine then it's preferable not to! If I had a migrane I'd be pissed off if the kids were left with me while DP went Xmas shopping (in November).

susiedaisy Sat 17-Nov-12 13:04:56

thumb it is bp medication that has finally brought mine under control

HeathRobinson Sat 17-Nov-12 13:02:02

Does he get out of looking after his dd a lot?

Thumbwitch Sat 17-Nov-12 12:58:39

I understand your frustration. My Dad was a chronic migraine sufferer (until he went on BP medication when they reduced enORMously - although the raised BP was only a recent thing) and he always seemed to get them at the most inconvenient times, often when there was a social thing on. He genuinely had one, he got them for 3d at a time, lying in dark room with cold cloth on his forehead, that kind of thing - but it was VERY frustrating that they kept coinciding with things we all wanted to do.

Does your DH get them very often? If so, why doesn't he have decent preventative medication?

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