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AIBU about this Will?

(67 Posts)
Rugbycomet Sat 17-Nov-12 10:10:01

Background info...

My parents divorced two years ago. My father has a new partner but she was not the cause of the break up. Although I am not fond of this lady, she has been around for my father over the last couple of years whilst he was ill and very nearly died. In fact he probably would have if she hadn't been there and for that I am very grateful.

My father mentioned to me about ten months ago that he would like to leave something in his will for this lady and how did i feel about it? I said that it was his money but it should be a stated amount and not a percentage and only should they still be together and if she were to die before him, her share should not go to her children so be aware of that.

I have just found out that his estate will be divided into six equal shares. My brother and I will have a sixth each and his three grandchildren will also receive a sixth each. To my horror, this lady will also receive a sixth too.

I feel sick about this. It feels wrong to me but I understand its his money at the end of the day.

He didn't tell me btw about this so as far as he's aware, I know nothing about it.

How would you feel?

TheFallenMadonna Sat 17-Nov-12 10:11:34

You gave him a lot of instructions about what to do with his money...

D0G Sat 17-Nov-12 10:12:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BartletForTeamGB Sat 17-Nov-12 10:12:24

It's his money, not yours, and this woman has obviously been very precious to him.

squeakytoy Sat 17-Nov-12 10:12:34

absolutely none of your business.. inheritance is a gift, not a right

D0G Sat 17-Nov-12 10:13:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

80sMum Sat 17-Nov-12 10:15:35

Erm, it's your dad's money not yours.

AThingInYourLife Sat 17-Nov-12 10:15:37

Sounds pretty fair to me.

D0G Sat 17-Nov-12 10:16:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DilysPrice Sat 17-Nov-12 10:17:12

YABU, just YABU.

5dcsinneedofacleaner Sat 17-Nov-12 10:17:18

a sixth isnt that much for someone he presumably loves? I dont see your problem. My dad has a new partner since my mum died and will leave everything to his new wife (who will then pass it on to her own daughter i suppose) It makes me annoyed but then Im assuming he knows it DOES affect our relationship and WILL affect what happend if his (35 year younger than him) girlfriend decides she doesn't want to be carer for an old man in the future.

Just get on with life - its too short to worry about things you never had in the first place.

Rugbycomet Sat 17-Nov-12 10:18:35

It isn't about the money and as I said, I understand why he should want to leave something for her. I think it's about the percentage as I feel why should this lady get the same percentage as his grandchildren when he's only known her for a very short time.

Obviously if he had died, then she wouldn't have received anything as he's only recently changed his will!

SoleSource Sat 17-Nov-12 10:19:01

Who do you think you are?

Otherworld Sat 17-Nov-12 10:19:06

Seems reasonable to me. YABU

Rugbycomet Sat 17-Nov-12 10:19:34

I am not worrying about it. As I said its his money.

Selim Sat 17-Nov-12 10:19:56

Why are you horrified? She is his partner, he could quite easily have left her the lot.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Sat 17-Nov-12 10:20:27

Well, he is equaling a woman he has known for two years with children he has known their entire life. I can see where you are coming from.

You are as important to him as her. Not sure there is anything you can do though.

But lucky her!

SenoritaViva Sat 17-Nov-12 10:20:39

I am afraid there is nothing you can do. I always think it is unfortunate when people find out about a will when they aren't meant to. To be honest he is leaving 5/6 of his estate to your family and 1/6 to her who he obviously cares about very much.
I am afraid you will have to get over it.

Selim Sat 17-Nov-12 10:21:21

Lots of people don't leave their gcs anything. My dad left everything to my mum, my mum is spending it. I hope she is around long enough to leave us nothing.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Sat 17-Nov-12 10:21:55

It isn't your money. It doesn't sound like he was asking your permission or advice even, just testing the water to see if you would have a massive huff. Which you seem to have done.

AThingInYourLife Sat 17-Nov-12 10:22:16

"Obviously if he had died, then she wouldn't have received anything as he's only recently changed his will!"

Good thing for her she saved his life then grin

41notTrendy Sat 17-Nov-12 10:22:27

I think it sounds fair. And as you acknowledge, you can't do anything about it so you have to put your feelings to one side.

sayithowitis Sat 17-Nov-12 10:22:52

Are you saying that you would rather your Dad had died so that you could have had a fifth of his estate? Really? because that is how it sounds to me.

You acknowledge that if she hadn't been around, he probably would have died. So clearly she is extremely important to him. Frankly, I think I would rather forego a small amount of my own inheritance if it meant I would have had my DD or DSD around for longer than I did.

Rugbycomet Sat 17-Nov-12 10:22:57

Gosh, I am surprised at the aggressiveness for some of you. I know it's his money and he can do whatever he likes and thank you Notquint to see where I am coming from.

Hulababy Sat 17-Nov-12 10:23:04

It is his partner. She means an awful lot to him and she has stood by him and loved him throughout his illness. It sounds like, from your OP, she has done an awful lot for him and has supported him when he almost died.

Why on earth would someone who obviously means a lot to your dad, who I assume he loves and cares for, not be in his will to this amount?

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