WIU to knock this kid off his bike with my car?(148 Posts)
Ok first of all, I didn't. But I wanted to. I really, really wanted to and I'm horrified at how close I came to actually doing it.
I'm shocked at myself and think maybe I have issues and this was not a normal, reasonable or healthy thought.
Sorry but to give you the full facts this may be a bit long.
A few months ago I was driving home, running a little late for school pick up. I hate to park on the school road so I always park a few minutes walk away. To get to the car park you need to drive down a very long and narrow road, it only allows for one car to get through and so you often have to pull into a gap to let oncoming vehicles past.
As I turned the corner to go down this road there was a lad on a bike, riding no handed very, very slowly while texting. I should point out that while 2 cars cannot comfortably drive alongside past each other there is enough room to overtake a bicycle (it leads to a popular cycle route so this is very common). I hung back admittedly feeling a bit impatient and muttering to myself about lack of respect, upstart thinking he was king of the road but certain that he'd send his message or whatever before moving to let me overtake him.
He didn't so halfway down the road with an eye on the time I beeped my horn. He moved over.
Well I thought he was moving over to let me past.
He wasn't he was moving slightly over but not enough that I could safely pass him.
He stopped at the front of my car, spat on windscreen then came to side and used (I think) his phone to violently bang against my passenger window.
As he was banging his bike fell away from him and I sped off.
It terrified me. The look in his eyes was one of pure hatred and rage-I'm certain that if I hadn't been behind a glass window he'd have hurt me. I had my baby in the back seat on the passenger side and had visions of glass shattering over him. It really shook me up. I cried when a mum on the playground asked if I was ok.
I've seen this lad a few times since. He's old enough to have left school, I'd guess 17.
Last night when returning home I saw him on the pavement, on his bike. Again he was riding none handed and on his phone.
I was alongside and knew that we would arrive at the bottom of my road at the same time.
I knew he wouldn't check the traffic.
I knew that I could turn into the road and 'accidently' knock him off his bike.
He was wearing all black clothing, no lights on bike and it was very dark.
I even locked my car doors in anticipation of him jumping up from road to attack me.
As it was I hit my brakes as he glided past in front of my car without so much of a headturn to see the vehicle that was a second away from hitting him.
I'm disgusted to say I'm disappointed that I stopped. I've replayed the scenario over and over all night and kick myself for not hitting him! I have a son almost his age fgs! How can I have even considered this? Have come so close to doing it? Be annoyed at myself for having not done it?
Can any of you say you'd have behaved the same way?
WTF your considering hurting him on purpose but you lock the doors in case he attacks you! You are the violent, dangerous nutter in the situation, the kid might be a bit of a wanker but he at least isn't contemplating murder!
You need to get help with anger management driving around with an attitude like that could lead you to do something that lands you in prision for a long time.
If you had knocked him off his bike you may well have been prosecuted. I'm guessing the area was lit up as you did see him, so even though he was in the wrong for not having lights the police could have argued you should have seen him (and you did). If a car is turning into a side road its the car's responsibilty to check for bikes before turning, you can't overtake a bike and then then cut them up by turning left.
But you didn't do it so well done.
I can see why the thought of doing it is tempting when he's been such a little scrote. But you could have killed him if you had done.
You should have reported him to the police at the time of the 1st incident.
I can see why you feel angry and frustrated but you need to put that to one side when you get behind the wheel. If you think your emotions are interfering with your judgement as a driver, then please pull over, take some deep breaths, count to ten or do whatever it takes to make the red mist disappear.
I assume you contacted the police after the first incident?
Contact the police because someone banged on your car window?
Yanbu to fantasize about teaching him a lesson. He has frightened you and is endangering himself.
You already know that actually hitting him is not going to happen and would be criminal a well as UR.
It's ok to think it but don't do it! If he out that careless I am afraid he will get flattened without your help.
His behaviour was disgusting and he may well be known to the police anyway. I would report him. If you're worried about repercussions you may be able to give an anonymous statement. I would phone your neighbourhood police for a chat.
(Reporting it may keep your violent thoughts in check!)
No, can't say I have ever wished that I could've killed someone.
Yes, I get angry with drivers thinking that they are 'King of the Road' because they can cause real damage but cyclists? No.
I would guess your extreme reaction came from some sort of protective mechanism as your baby was in the car.
No, I can't say I have behaved in the same way, ever. I have wanted to get out of my car and give teenagers a large helping of my opinion though.
The thing is, you still want to knock him off his bike. Do you think you might actually do it in the future?
Fear is doing this to you. I'm not sure what what you can do to get over this.
I think your thoughts/fantasies are fairly normal and I suspect that if people were more honest about feelings of rage and frustration more would admit "murderous thoughts". I also suspect some of this is about protecting your baby.
The thing that is concerning is that you say you are disappointed that you stopped. Are you really? If you really do regret not hurting him, you need to seek some help/support.
I would be terrified if I ever, even for a second contemplated hitting a young cyclist with my car.
That's quite honestly one of the most horrible, disturbing things I've ever read.
It's called an Intrusive Thought and they are very disturbing but not uncommon.
I have them. It makes you feel like you're going nuts - but you're not.
The important thing is that you know you would NEVER act on them.
First off a cyclist has as much right to the road as you. If you can safely pass them do so, but there is no legal obligation for a cyclist to allow you to overtake.
Secondly, wishing to run a cyclist off their bike with the probability of injuring them makes you sound like a complete arse. Go look at your son now and consider that someone has thought about doing it to him. Nice thought? No.
Act like a fucking grown up and try to exercise some caution and restraint.
I understand your anger and frustration. But it's not your job to teach him a lesson and live with the guilt forever. Leave karma to take care of it, sooner or later someone will knock him off. In the mean time I'd put a call in to your local bobby
People forget driving a car is the same as having a loaded weapon
I didn't report it because...well would would I say?
Some kid was riding his bike along the road without moving and when I beeped my horn he smashed against my window and scared the shit out of me and I honestly thought he would've hurt me given half the chance?
And the police would have done what exactly?
I am not usually an angry person. And tbh the scariest thing about last night was how calm I was!!! I noticed him on the pavement parallel to me. I envisioned what 'could' happen when we got to the road at the same time. I thought to myself "there is no street light at the end of road, it's dark, he won't check, it'll be a total accident' Except it wouldn't have been. I hit the brake. I'm glad that a part of me was more sensible. That could've been my DS!!
But yes, to my total shame and for reasons I cannot get my head round I feel regret that I stopped the car. I think I felt that way more so because he was totally oblivious/nonchalant. He cannot have failed to notice that he was mere inches away from being hit.
I do think I have a problem. That cannot be normal and the responses prove that nobody else would have even considered doing anything like that in any way whatsoever
I don't think it's normal to actually regret not knocking a teenager off his bike.
The fact you are still regretting it now is worrying.
I think if I were thinking of killing someone with my car, I'd leave the car at home and seek professional help!
The boy sounds a bit of a dick, TBH, and what he did was very wrong, but it is not worth of being run over!
FFS woman you need help!
Of course you would not be unreasonable.
Cyclists are fair game in is country.
All motorists, on the other hand, are good, upstanding, law abiding citizens, none of whom would ever consider texting while driving, or giving in to bouts of road rage when challenged by another road user.
Unacceptable - From a psychological perspective, this has brought something up for you that has nothing to do with him as an individual. The strength of emotions, the fixation on it for some months - both of those tell me that it is worth exploring what he has triggered. It is possible that what you saw was a side of yourself that you find hard to accept - and in fact your death-wish feelings would confirm this.
I seem to be saying this so often nowadays, but I would definitely consider therapy to get to the bottom of this. I'm not saying he isn't a threat; I have no idea about that. What I am saying, though, is that he mirrored to you something that feels very threatening and which has its origin in you, not him. This is something we all face to a greater or lesser degree at times, and talking to someone who can help you deal with it can not only put it in perspective, but it might also help you discover more about yourself that could be entirely valuable.
Well I must admit I wouldn't have reported the first incident to the police as I don't think I'd have been upset about it like the OP was. Life's too short to get worked up. My take on it was you met an arsehole who was acting like a twat but no damage was done. I'd comfort myself with the thought he probably has a shitty life and will get his cumpuppence for something soon.
However if someone did want to report such an incidence to the police it might make them feel better and lessen the chances of them knocking someone off their bike. I know the police aren't there to make you feel better but I do think that if they wanted to the police could find something to charge someone with for banging on people's cars and spitting. The problem is no witnesses and you don't know who he is so the chances of them been able to do something I guess are slim. But if he does similar again then yes I would report it. The police may well know who he is and recognise a description. People shouldn't be allowed to intimidate people in such a manner, even if all the police can do is warn them off.
I think some of the respondents on this thread are more hysterical and unhinged than the OP.
I agree with Hecate and BelleDame. Have any of you who are screeching that the OP sounds unhinged never had a fleeting though about giving a bad/rude/annoying person a good crack across the face? You'd never do it, but so what? It was a thought and it stayed inside her head.
Viva is right about reporting the incident. It was threatening behaviour and that dickhead lad needs to be taught some manners; just not by knocking the wee knob off his bike. He's just a little twat OP, don't squish him, report him.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.