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AIBU to be miffed because DH feels he is just as tired as I am?

(35 Posts)
ellangirl Fri 16-Nov-12 23:37:58

We have a 3 week old DD who wants to be breastfed every 2 hours at the moment, and a very spirited 3 year old DS. DH is at work full time and gets up half an hour earlier than I'm awake to take dog on quick walk. Given he doesn't feed (therefore stays asleep) or do nappies, and some nights sleeps in spare bed, how can he be just as tired as me? Or perhaps I am being u nreasonableu

RillaBlythe Sat 17-Nov-12 09:17:09

My DP is also more of a wanker than me.

eagerbeagle Sat 17-Nov-12 09:45:53

There is no winner playing competitive tiredness.

You are both tired and need to figure out how to support each other through it. I've been there. Am still there some nights, DD now 13 months. When it gets bad we take turns to sleep at the weekend. DH has a 2 hour nap then loads kids into the buggy and I hit the hay.

Just talk about it. Acknowledge its hard on you both and ask for help if you feel you are hitting your limit.

You are more tired by the way but pulling together is likely to get you further than arguing about it.

AThingInYourLife Sat 17-Nov-12 10:18:49

There's no winner in competitive tiredness because a man who tells his breastfeeding wife who is up every 2 hours at night that he is just as tired as she is a cunt. Which means she's married to a cunt.

Losers all around.

ellangirl Sat 17-Nov-12 14:10:59

Just for the record, my DH is most emphatically NOT a cunt, or a wanker! He is very lovely, just not when he is asleep and snoring at stupid o clock while I wonder 'is the baby asleep enough for me to out her down in the crib? oh no she's woken up again. Bugger. better spend another 20 mins rocking backwards and forwards like a mad woman with her, oh god now she's rooting again, how the hell can she be hungry!?' grin

And for those worried I am making it a game of sleep trumps, my only response to being told he was just as tired as me was 'it's not a competition'.

Anyway, she has been asleep on him for an hour, so now I have cleaned the bathroom, made the bed and done the washing. I now only have myself to blame for being tired as I could have been sleeping hmm

Goldrill Sat 17-Nov-12 14:17:23

DD2 is 4 weeks old and DD1 is 2 years. DP is wonderful and I adore him, but had to learn this time round that any suggestion he is tired had damn well better be followed with a "...but nowhere near as tired as you must be...". He may only do it to humour me but I don't really care at the present moment!

I'm finding it a lot easier to be up feeding all night this tme round - I think having older DD reminds me just how quicly this bit passes and how soon it will really be that I get proper sleep again!

wannaBe Sat 17-Nov-12 14:18:20


It's not a competition, and having a newborn doesn't IMO give special dispensation.

He's at work all day, you can nap when the baby naps. He doesn't have that privilage.

duedec2 Sat 17-Nov-12 14:25:24

She cant sleep if she has a 3-yr-old! But breast feeding does produce hormones that help. Just tough for everyone. But babies grow up so terrifyingly fast and it passes ...

LunaticFringe Sat 17-Nov-12 14:25:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AThingInYourLife Sat 17-Nov-12 14:27:33

Of course having a newborn gives a special dispensation, if by dispensation you mean extra kindness and consideration from your husband.

Going to work really isn't that fucking tiring unless you have a serious health problem or are incompetent.

We've all been working all our adult lives. Why does it suddenly become something so hard that it requires daytime naps just because someone else in the house isn't getting any sleep?

IShallCallYouSquishy Sat 17-Nov-12 14:34:52

I remember my DH being like this in the early days. He'd say "I know I shouldn't be but I'm so tired" or "I know you should be more tired but I'm just knackered". I guess at least he realised I should win have more moaning rights.

But YANBU grin

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