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To feel pissed off sometimes what with being young-ish parents?

(12 Posts)
Princesstwat Fri 16-Nov-12 19:16:50

Need a kick up the backside tbh. Dh and I are 23 with 2 kids and 1 on the way. He works ft and I'm a sahm and freelance writer. Ridiculous as it is I just feel really fcuking jealous of ppl sometimes, particularly in our own family. Ppl who had nice weddings while we never had one, nor did anyone make an effort to help us have one. Ppl swanning about looking in pity at us while we sometimes struggle with our kids on a bad day. Just feel upset especially tonight, dh isn't well and ds (3) has been awful today. Knacks red, hormonal and really feel begrudged at some people. Love being a young parent but its so hard what with judgements and money worries sad

Dawndonna Fri 16-Nov-12 19:19:11

I am 54. I still have a 17 year old, and 16 year old twins at home.
By the time you're 45 you'll be out partying again, you won't be as knackered as me and you'll have more of a disposable income with which to party!
Lucky thing!

Caerlaverock Fri 16-Nov-12 19:19:32

You should lucky to me. Enjoy your lovely family and enjoy your second youth when they leave home!

maddening Fri 16-Nov-12 19:23:01

I don't think age has anything to do with it. You will always meet people who you feel judge you (and you might be wrong about some of them smile).And you will always meet people who have it easier.
I would ignore it - giving in to it can make you paranoid.

NoraGainesborough Fri 16-Nov-12 19:26:29

Its got nothing to do with being young. We all feel shit from time to time.

You must be happy the majority of the time or you wouldn't be having a third.

Don't envy people it only makes you unhappy.

carabos Fri 16-Nov-12 19:26:30

I'm 49 and have recently emptied my nest. Party on wink. Seriously, no matter how old you are, three small children is going to be a challenge, financially, emotionally, every way really.

You have lots of energy and this phase is just "the surge". It will be over sooner than you think.

iloveshortshorts Fri 16-Nov-12 19:26:34

me and Dp are young parents, and i too feel that we get judged but dont be upset, enjoy your lovely family smile
hope your Dh feels better so he can help with the children.

NoraGainesborough Fri 16-Nov-12 19:32:16

Honestly op and ilove i was young when i had dd. I felt like you. But then felt i was getting judged for other things when i has ds at 28.

Some people like to judge. Sometimes we are a bit more sensitive and see judgment where there is none. Once you learn to think 'fuck it' and carry on as you choose to parent You become happier.

Ilovecake1 Fri 16-Nov-12 19:38:41

I am a young mum and can understand exactly what you mean at being judged. I raise above that and strive to be the best mum I could possibly be, ignore others and concentrate on your LO!

Princesstwat Fri 16-Nov-12 19:38:57

Really appreciate the replies. Envy is an ugly thing and I have so much to feel grateful for. Do love the kids I guess I feel like we wre only married a v short while before they came along. Stupid thing where we feel we didn't get enough time to enjoy ourselves alone etc, instead had to live with in laws and I fell preg unexpectedly while we had nowhere else to go. Then I look at sil who has had everything handed to her on a plate and her and my bils flashy wedding and feel shit again. Tonight's just crap.

IfNotNowThenWhen Fri 16-Nov-12 19:58:34

Sorry you are having a bad time OP, but just know this:
Become a mother, and prepare to get judged.
You can be judged for being too young, AND too old.
Having too many kids AND only having one
Not being married to your partner AND being single
Working AND not working.

And, while some people do appear to have done everything right, and have the perfect set up, who even knows what goes on behind closed doors.
I have never had a wedding either, and I am dead old (compared to you!)
I don't care, andneither should you. Other things matter more.

Chin up, and keep your eyes on your own paper smile

alittlebitbockety Fri 16-Nov-12 20:24:00

I am 48 with a four year old and I feel judged too. And tired. Very very tired. grin You can't win if you care too much about what people think so best to just get on with it and try to enjoy the way things have worked out for you. For what it's worth - I think when you are 48 you will be thrilled with the way you did it!

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