to feel emotionally exhausted by parents evening?(30 Posts)
No matter what is said I always focus on the 'negative' and then go round and round trying to work out if I have damaged my child in some way.
By way of example DS1 is doing well in all areas and the teacher is happy with his progress. She did say that she found him to be a bit of an enigma and quirky.
All I want is to go into school and for the teacher to say 'DS1 is a wonderful child and a pleasure to teach'. It never happens.
Mrs that is just like DS1. He has always been OK but slightly behind. He is now catching up and doing really well. He is certainly a 'late bloomer', but then his learing has always been like that. He won't attempt anything until he knows that he can do it properly first go.
And yes aka you are right. I should be very pleased with his progress and I am of course. I stop being silly now and go and buy him some lego!
akaemmafrost - ditto with my DS.
With DD and DS1 I used to come out of parents evenings aglow with pleasure. Now I want to cry.
My DS is six next month. The teacher described him as the most charming in the class, and the most subtle with it.
He has a lot of form for charm, and the local shops etc are littered with the recipients. He gets an awful lot of free lollipops. Two months ago the dental nurse was asking if he had a girlfriend (yes, and that's another story). I am just worrying that in a few years time I am going to read about him on the Relationships board.
So I am frantically trying to drum in respect for others and work ethic. The rest of the report was glowing, but charmers get that anyway.
tbh, I think most mums who care worry anyway, even if there isn't the need to, because we want to make sure that our dcs are the best they can be and that we do our best for them.
Take parents night comments with a bucket of salt. Remember, the things that make a school pupil shine/fit in well in a school class, are not necessarily the same things which will make your child shine/do well at university and/or the world of work.
I say this as the parent of 4, DS, 2 of them are at university, 1 with 3 years more school, and a toddler. I have rarely had a parents evening for any of them which didn't leave me in tears, frustrated or upset (at least until they were about 15, when the focus at school starts to shift to results rather than "fitting in").
The older two were variously described as
DS2- "lazy, not trying and easily distracted" and "not dyslexic, just a bit stupid/averge/lazy", "in a world of his own", "away with the fairies", and "He has strange ideas about religion" (he is now studying theoretical physics, and now diagnosed as Dyslexic).
DS1 -"lazy, disengaged with school work", "spends time gazing out the window" or drawing "bizarre inventions" across his work sheets. "Has his own agenda" He was also criticised as a 5 yo for using logic and persuasion to get the other kids to play the games he wanted, instead of just hitting them, which would have been "wrong", but also "normal"!!! (now Oxbridge).
Most of the negative comments when it boils down to it, were because they were quirky, different and interested in learning in their own way (very self directed)... all of those can cause problems for a teacher of a class of kids, but the same character traits can be big positives in the last years of school and into university.
Yes Scotch DS1 was described as only concentrating on something if it interested him, in which case he could concentrate for hours. If something doesn't interest him he doesn't put any effort in. I can understand this though and am very similar and tbh would have thought most people are. I only want to do interesting things.
He is also described as being in a world of his own quite often and I know he is as he will be working out what would happen if Sponge Bob and Patrick went on Club Penguin and met some of his puffles and what would happen if the 4 armed garmadon was also there and got Patricks name wrong. etc etc
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