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I know I ABU but I soooo want to stop this child getting this award.....

(72 Posts)
amck5700 Fri 16-Nov-12 09:41:23

Just read in our primary school minutes that a child who bullied my son and encouraged others to do so is probably getting a national award for sport and my blood is boiling.

They are now both in High School but we chose to put my son to a further away school becasue of the way this boy and the others made my son (and other kids in the class too) feel.

I sooooo want to find out who the award is from and tell them what this boy is actually like. I know I can't do it and I know it is unreasonable to want to do it but still.......

toofattorun Fri 16-Nov-12 09:42:13

I would!!

SoupDragon Fri 16-Nov-12 09:43:32

But you don't know what he is like, only what he was like.

squeakytoy Fri 16-Nov-12 09:43:39

It is possible that he has changed his ways from when he was a child.

BeckAndCall Fri 16-Nov-12 09:44:56

And his award is for sport, not being an all round good guy. Witness awards for footballers........

socharlotte Fri 16-Nov-12 09:45:44

..and it's an award for his sporting ability not kindness!

Of course it is not U for you to want to do it.......

However, the award is for sport and nothing to do with him and your son.

I do sympathise though, my DS has been bullied on and off through primary school and yes, it does make the blood boil. Some awful kid tried to strangle my DS in class and then the same week later he got star of the week and a massive certificate. I did actually complain about that!

amck5700 Fri 16-Nov-12 09:46:36

Unfortunately I do know what he is like - we still like in the same estate and a lot of my sons friends still go to school with him - they only moved up in the Summer.

To be fair he is talented but sports is also about sporting behaviour and that should be on and off the field.

I do agree but having been there I know the response you will get.

When I complained about this kid trying to strangle my DS and then being rewarded I was told they have to encourage to bring out the best in them!

Molepomandmistletoe Fri 16-Nov-12 09:49:09

YABU

It's a sporting award AT A DIFFERENT SCHOOL, it's nothing to do with you or your son.

amck5700 Fri 16-Nov-12 09:49:52

Betty - that is terrible. It is frustrating when they use star of the week as a reward for behaving a wee bit better occaisionally. My younger son came 2nd in a regional Maths competition and it wasn't even mentioned at assembly never mind rewarded.

amck5700 Fri 16-Nov-12 09:50:47

Mole, no the reward is for last year when he was at primary with my son.

Amck - yes very frustrating hence I feel your pain. This is also the same kid who threatened to get his brother to come and stab my son. Again, I went up school about that and I was told that some people talk like that at home so for him to say that wasn't serious but just how they talk to each other. Nice family hey!

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Fri 16-Nov-12 09:52:37

Why dont you email the awarding body and ask them if they have decided to leave out sportmanship and sporty behaviour from their awards from now on?
Tell them what he is like.

amck5700 Fri 16-Nov-12 09:53:11

The primary are also likely to get an overall award for the work they did with a whole group of kids - half of which were involved in the general bullying behaviour. However, that reward is really for the teacher and the hard work he put in in his own time coaching the kids - the club was open to all the pupils - the fact that a good proportion of kids felt they couldn't go because of this boy and other kids is not his fault.

Molepomandmistletoe Fri 16-Nov-12 09:54:03

It still sounds a bit spiteful. Grown adults picking on kids.

pigletmania Fri 16-Nov-12 09:55:37

Seems as though rewards go to those who bully and cause trouble like Betty's ds, where is his reward hmm. Betty I would have complained to teheran head about that, and ask her to mention it in assembly. Every child matters not just the bullies

amck5700 Fri 16-Nov-12 09:55:41

NotQuint - I really do want to do that but at the end of the day he is a child, I am an adult and I should know better and would actually feel like I was stooping to his level. That's why i know I am being unreasonable........but I still feel like I want some revenge. It really sticks in my throat.

Popumpkin Fri 16-Nov-12 09:57:24

I actually would e-mail the organisation giving the award. I doubt you will get anywhere and, as others have said, the award is for sports not kindness so your concerns may not be considered relevant.

YA definitely NBU to want to stop this boy being celebrated though and I probably would give it a go in all honesty.

hackmum Fri 16-Nov-12 09:57:35

I do sympathise OP, and I sympathise with Betty too, having seen naughty, bullying kids being rewarded at DD's old school for the rare occasions when they managed to go a week without thumping someone. It's horrible.

amck5700 Fri 16-Nov-12 09:58:23

My son is thriving at his new school so i know we made the right decision and regardless of this boy etc I think he would be better where he is, so I know I should let it go - I just can't help bearing a grudge.

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Fri 16-Nov-12 09:59:43

Oh, ffs, don't be ridiculous.

Children are allowed to win awards for things they are good at; I presume if he continues to bully in school the school will be dealing with it (and if your school didn't you should be bringing that up with the school for their failings). What that has to do with his sporting ability I don't know.

If you were to interfere, you would be lowering yourself to the lowest level of bullying yourself, which isn't a good example to show to your children.

And as an aside, children with behavioural difficulties who bully at school should be managed better by the school. If they have an outlet such as sport to excel at they are more likely to grow up to be responsible adults. If they have no other outlet, they are more likely to continue as trouble-makers.

Popumpkin Fri 16-Nov-12 10:00:14

Having read my post back, it sounds as though I'm saying I'd make some kind of campaign out of it. I wouldn't do that as it would be stooping to the bully's level - but I would send one polite but informative e-mail.

amck5700 Fri 16-Nov-12 10:00:36

....I just wish I hadn't read the minutes now - I don't go to the meetings anymore as this boys mother was on the comittee and it made me too angry to have to interact. Bearing in mind we were friendly with this boys parents before all the issues started.

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Fri 16-Nov-12 10:00:43

Sorry, I x-posted with your last two posts, and I'm glad you aren't going to do anything smile.

I still think the problem lies with the school who obviously didn't deal appropriately with the bullying issue.

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