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Aibu to think men never truly Grow Up?!!!

(129 Posts)
pumpkinsweetie Thu 15-Nov-12 21:38:44

Having a dh that must have what HE wants, when HE wants and if HE doesn't get it he stomps his feets & sulks for days!!!
HE has to have the latest game/console/chair etc, etc even before i have finished my christmas shopping and then today he's told me HE expects a £300 gaming chair if he gets a job!!-WTAF is wrong with his self entitled arse?
Apparently i have welshed on 'OUR' deal as i said he could have it 'ages' ago apparently-(not realising he meant a £300 one, i thought he meant a cheapo one)!
So he is basing his enthusiasium on maybe getting a job for a fucking gaming chair.
Aibu to think he should grow the fuck up?, especially as it will be a mw job and we won't be able to afford it?

AnyFucker Thu 15-Nov-12 22:06:01

I am very sorry about your brother sad

DontmindifIdo Thu 15-Nov-12 22:07:11

Pumpkinsweetie - you sound like you've had enough, he doesn't support you emotionally or financially, you do it all - even finding a job for him. He doesn't see you as his partner, but his mum.

do you love him?

FreudiansSlipper Thu 15-Nov-12 22:08:28

is he always selfish

Has his redundancy had an impact on his behaviour

Jinsei Thu 15-Nov-12 22:09:50

YANBU to think that your DH needs to grow up. He sounds like an arse.

YABU to think that all men are like this. They're not.

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR Thu 15-Nov-12 22:10:58

Why not do a little research into what would happen if you threw him out? Information is power: if you know what benefits you might get etc and whose name the house is in and all the rest of it, then you can decide on a plan.
Because it sounds like you would be a lot better off without a man like this: not another adult to help you and make your life better, but another dependent to pick up after.

Jinsei Thu 15-Nov-12 22:11:11

I'm sorry about your brother too. Have you got anyone else around in RL who can give you the support that you need?

MORCAPS Thu 15-Nov-12 22:12:06

What is he for?

Bogeyface Thu 15-Nov-12 22:13:29

Totally agree with SGB

You would be so much better off emotionally and financially without this leech.

Presumably, if he had a job then he wouldnt have time to use his gaming chair (I wont go into how I feel about grown men "needing" gaming time.......).

I wouldnt be worrying about his chairs, gaming or otherwise, I would be worrying about the arse that is sitting on them and how to get it out of my life.

Bogeyface Thu 15-Nov-12 22:13:46

grin Mor good Q!

thebody Thu 15-Nov-12 22:14:17

My dh is a grown up and so are my sons in their 20s. They would think a gaming chair of £300 was only fit for a complete wanker.

Please get advice in kicking this idiot out.

pumpkinsweetie Thu 15-Nov-12 22:14:59

I do love him, this behaviour comes in bouts.
For months he'll be attentive, helpful and then i have months of selfishness.
Believe me i'm at the end of my tether.

I didn't really mean to say ALL men are like this, just having a rant and wondering whether there are more like him?
And do these sorts ever grow up?

All i want is my brother back and my dc to have a wonderful christmas, i'm not interested in a man toy i cannot afford.
I wish he felt like that instead of always thinking of himselfsad

thebody Thu 15-Nov-12 22:15:10

Mor, good one.

Bogeyface Thu 15-Nov-12 22:16:25

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

pumpkinsweetie Thu 15-Nov-12 22:16:40

I do wonder myself mor

Bogeyface Thu 15-Nov-12 22:17:13

I should add that the ones that have grown up dont ever behave in such a way that would have you asking the question.

I suggest you lose the manchild and find yourself a grown up.

AnyFucker Thu 15-Nov-12 22:18:25

The only men that are like him are atrociously selfish arseholes

if you had your time again...would you pick a man-child like this ?

No ?

Then it's not too late to put that right

thebody Thu 15-Nov-12 22:19:36

So sorry about your brother. Very hard for you and yours.

Your dh should be helpful and loving all the time as I expect you are.

That's the relationship deal, ok we all have off days but months of sulks, that's not on..

pumpkinsweetie Thu 15-Nov-12 22:22:11

Wish it was that easy, at the moment i'm seriously considering cutting my losses.
I'm seeing how the interview goes/doesn't go & the outcome, whether a new job inspires him-If not we have come to the end of the linesad

I have to atleast try to make it work, as we have been together 8yr and have 4dc but he has to work with me-if not, then thats itsad

Bogeyface Thu 15-Nov-12 22:24:00

ANd what if the new job doesnt inspire him? Or if it does but then after 6 months, he gets the sulks again?

Seems that you spend your life waiting for the good times so you can get through the bad times. You can give a whole life over to that.

Do you want to?

Tactifer Thu 15-Nov-12 22:27:49

Have you asked him about this behaviour? When you say his behaviour comes in bouts, does he feel remorse for being such an a*se when the better times come? I'm wondering if he could he be suffering from some undiagnosed emotional/psychological problem that makes him behave like this (I'm not an expert BTW) But, unfortunately, some men are just a*ses. Whatever, I hope you can find enough joy to have a good Christmas.

OTTMummA Thu 15-Nov-12 22:30:24

Really? After 8yrs and 4dc you think ONE interview and job will change him?

Sorry to say, but he will never change, i would bet my home on it, people like this never do.

Not only is he disrespectful and selfish which inconviences you, but you are allowing your children to think his behaviour is acceptable, so your sons will think it is ok to treat their partners like this, and your daughters will settle for a manchild as a husband,,, that is really depressing.

I don't say LTB, but if he can't support you around a difficult time and help you grieve for your brother and instead goes around badgering you for a £300 chair then is there any point to him?

AnyFucker Thu 15-Nov-12 22:30:48

I diagnose "fuckmyfamilyoverforagamingchairitis"

a terrible affliction and an awful cross to bear for him

that'll excuse explain it

KellyEllyChristmasBelly Thu 15-Nov-12 22:33:32

Many many men admit this but the shock horror brigade on here will tell you that you have a bad one etc etc <yawns>

KellyEllyChristmasBelly Thu 15-Nov-12 22:35:21

Oh and how great and fabulous and respectful their partners are and blah blah <switches off>

AnyFucker Thu 15-Nov-12 22:37:41

I presume you have a fuckwit for a partner too ?

poor you

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