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To get mad at Mums that cross on the red man!!

(49 Posts)
duke Thu 15-Nov-12 19:44:02

Our school is on a the corner of a busy main road and we have waited ages for a pelican crossing. I'm waiting for the green man teaching the ds's to cross safely and other Mums run across on the red man with there kids and I'm saying to mine, loudly on purpose, wait for the green man. It's driving me mad. One boy yesterday had one foot on the road one on the pavement him mum shouted at him to get back then said right quick run. Is it me or is that really bad road safety teaching!!!! Phew rant over.

Woozley Sat 17-Nov-12 09:59:25

I don't blame parents for that. Other people are constantly assessing others' parenting skills, and entire lives, based on observations of several seconds, as constantly demonstrated on this site!

I sometimes hear loud tellings off and think "oh do shut up". I hate it when parenting is done loudly in the hope a passer by might hear how awesome at being a parent you are.

Lovecat Fri 16-Nov-12 11:33:51

As Zzzenagain says, it was a very serious 'you must not do this, it is very dangerous!' type of telling off. We saved our snurking for when we were safely esconsced in the coffee shop we'd been crossing the road to get to...

There's nothing more annoying than having to stop at a pedestrian crossing with no bloody pedestrians crossing. In that respect YANBU. Otherwise if I'm out with my kids and the road is clear we will cross. I remember one mum loudly commenting about a man crossing the clear road without waiting for the green man. He waited for her at the bus stop to pompously and loudly tell her off for being so rude about him in front of her children. She wasn't expecting it and mumbled something about just trying to teach her kids road safety. He said that the crossing was there for when it was very busy and to make a break in the traffic (at peak times when there might not be one) for people to cross safely. He said the lights were a guide only and that she was responsible for getting them safely across the road regardless of whether the green man is there or not. They should be taking their lead from her and not to be swayed by others actions. I could tell that she regretted using him as an example. grin
I have seen adults run across when they have barely nanoseconds to do so. I don't say anything unless the kids say it first. It really isn't our business.

ZZZenAgain Fri 16-Nov-12 10:35:26

hard to guffaw , when they tell you off, they really tell you off! I have to say one thing I love about no longer living in Germany is the freedom to cross streets without being told off. It is absolutely true, they wait for the red light, even on a Sunday when the streets are deserted and there is not a car in sight. They like to go by the book and in particular, I feel, they like others to go by the book.

For small children I think it is generally better to wait for the light to go green. I always made dd check after the light changed whether the cars had stopped before we crossed. I don't actually trust cars to stop on time. At some stage though, I do think you can gradually teach them to judge whether it is safe to cross. You do it when you jay-walk too. There isn't always a light to tell you what to do so you do need to learn to judge distance.

squoosh Fri 16-Nov-12 10:21:31

Lovecat what was your response? I would have guffawed!

Lovecat Fri 16-Nov-12 09:56:54

claraschu , DH and I (way before DD came along!) were told off in no uncertain terms by an elderly Austrian gentleman for crossing a deserted street in Vienna not at the crossing point <the horror, the horror> grin

Round here (apparently the UK's no. 1 spot for unlicensed, untaxed, uninsured drivers sad) drivers jump the lights 4 at a time, drive up the wrong side of the road and try to cut in if they feel the queue of traffic is too long for them to wait, over/undertake where they're not meant to... I teach DD to use her common sense when she crosses and NEVER to rely on people stopping at the red light/green man. I wish this weren't the case.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow Fri 16-Nov-12 09:49:35


Take them to Tokyo. Everyone glares at you if you cross on red, even in an empty road. Honestly, you would think you were stabbing someone the looks you get!

Someone even told me that when they closed all roads to traffic for the Emperor's funeral everyone STILL stopped on the red and waited patiently for green!

squoosh Fri 16-Nov-12 09:30:38

I think the Germans are sticklers for the rules, no green man, no crossing the road. Even an empty road.

TiredBooyhoo Fri 16-Nov-12 09:25:24

is there an issue in germany WRT green men? confused

Startail Fri 16-Nov-12 00:41:02

Depends on age and road sense of DCs.

Bad form if a mum is clearly trying to teach a toddler.

Really felt for the carer of someone with, LD, trying to show him to wait while every one else just ran for it.

duke Thu 15-Nov-12 23:51:07

Of course if I'm on my own and the road is clear I cross and look!! We walk lots and we cross where there are no crossings and I say still check even if its green. We too have nearly been wiped out when a lorry thundered across on green. Sorry Ilovejudgejudy for being sexist should of said mum/dad/carer. The thing that bugs me is the way people drag their kids between the cars 5 metres away from the crossing because they are too impatient to wait.

Woozley Thu 15-Nov-12 22:46:01

In central London I find you just have to take your chances. Quite often on a green man, there is a bus or taxi across the crossing which means you have to zig zag through traffic, or as you start to cross on a clear crossing with a green man a cyclist tries to mow you down. Early in the morning I would regularly stand there waiting to cross on green while two or three cars sailed through completely oblivious to a crossing being there at all. If you cross a zebra crossing when the traffic has stopped, it doesn't mean that the courier motorcyclist who hasn't bothered to stop won't mow you down next to the pavement just as you think you have reached safety.

But yes, round here, I wait for the green man when I'm with the kids.

Scholes34 Thu 15-Nov-12 22:39:02

Clarashu we were recently in London with a 22 year old German, who got very twitchy whenever we crossed the road on the red man . . . then it dawned on me why.

After many years waiting for the green man, I now delight in crossing the road on red!

Tactifer Thu 15-Nov-12 22:05:53

I do cross when I shouldn't, choosing to rely on what I can see, but I draw the line at ignoring the signals when young kids are about. It's difficult to teach road sense to very young kids without relying on the signals, which is why I don't like setting a bad example. But too many motorists see stopping as an inconvenient option rather than a responsibility, even those who should know better like taxi drivers, to make relying on rules alone a safe option.

PiggyPlumPie Thu 15-Nov-12 21:45:22

Sometimes it takes ages for the green man to appear after pressing the button. I still wait even if there is a large enough gap in the traffic because I find it annoying as a driver to have to stop at the traffic light to let Mr Nobody cross the road!! This is with or without children.

Am I just a nutter with too much time on my hands??? grin

Shaky Thu 15-Nov-12 21:39:22

If I am on my own and there is a parent with a child I will wait for the green man, in order to give the child the right example.

squoosh Thu 15-Nov-12 21:32:42

claraschu that's hilarious, an adult, waiting for the green man when there isn't even a car on the road. Some people observe the rules a bit too closely.

WildWorld2004 Thu 15-Nov-12 21:22:39

There is a traffic lights next to us that takes forever to change from red man to green. I can press it when there are a lot of cars & then i am stood there waiting & waiting for the lights to change. The cars have all gone & the red man is still showing. So i cross the road.

I have taught my dd how to cross the road properly as not every road has traffic lights.

Bluegrass Thu 15-Nov-12 21:20:29

They are there to create a break in the traffic on busy roads. If there is a suitable break anyway it seems rather pointless to treat it as an instruction to stand around like a lemon until a light tells you what to do. Common sense and teaching proper road safety trumps abrogating responsibility to a machine every time!

Moominsarescary Thu 15-Nov-12 20:56:50

I wait for the cars to stop, as sometimes they don't regardless of the green man!

tazzle22 Thu 15-Nov-12 20:52:05

I always waited for the green man as well as telling my children to look all around to check that the cars were stopping. These days I am often out with people with learning impairments and we do exactly the same thing..... look around and pay attention all the time but emphasising we do not cross with the red man we cant always see where cars coming from. Its also incredibley hard for young children to judge the speed / time of approaching cars to make good judgments ....... if there is a crossing there is a good reason its in that place !!!!

The main thing is to be consistant ..... it can be really, really hard to justify / explain when and why its ok to break a "rule" ..... best imo to keep to it.

IloveJudgeJudy Thu 15-Nov-12 20:46:40

YABU. especially as you just said mums. What about dads and teaching your DC. to go when you tell them no matter what other people do.

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 20:41:44

basically, it's not always safe when it's green and it's not always dangerous when it's red. use common sense and teach your dcs to aswell.

TiredBooyhoo Thu 15-Nov-12 20:40:46

"only a moron crosses on the red man, stupid example to children."

not if there are no cars on the road and they tell the dcs what they are doing. of course if they are someone else's dc at the crossing then you have no obligation to explain to them why you are making the logical decision to cross at the red man when the road is empty of traffic.

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