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To want to punch every single noisy opened mouth eater I come across?

(121 Posts)
twinkletoescare Thu 15-Nov-12 16:36:05

Ok maybe not punch BUT DEFO tell them how rude,bad mannered and annoying to anyone within a six mile radius it is?
Kids or elderly I don't's RUDE.

jjuice Sat 17-Nov-12 21:45:36

Perfect sneeze is so loud they can hear it in the next town with an exaggerated Aaaaachooooooo noise.

I love sneezing really loudly. clears my brain and gets on the food slurpers nerves.

Jackinthezombie Fri 16-Nov-12 20:16:11

Carefull, you might turn into this guy. here

twinkletoescare Fri 16-Nov-12 18:54:25

I love how this has turned into a sneeze bashing thread! grin

Growlithe Fri 16-Nov-12 18:32:39

We need to define the perfect sneeze. grin

TessCowDirect Fri 16-Nov-12 18:24:33

DSis does those ridiculous tiny sneezes.

Like a little squeaky "chee"

Pointless, absolutely pointless.

MrsDeVere Fri 16-Nov-12 18:22:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lavenderhoney Fri 16-Nov-12 18:19:43

Comedy sneezes! And shouting -a whooshooo! While they do it.
Food slurping, and not just soup. And munching noisily with mouth open- I have to get away.

I can't bear people eating on the phone either esp apples and crisps - and I say ' look, call me back when you have finished your snacks' ( is that rude?)

Gum chewers. Hate them. And popping gum. Makes me really edgy.

That's why I dont go to the cinema, it's like being crushed onto an economy flight complete with crappy small seats, film ruined by all the munching, endless crunching of crisps and ice from the the giant buckets of coke people seem to need. With rustly packets. And nuts! Stop licking yor fingers! And open the bag! What's with the tiny corner torn off and sticking your finger in the bag and struggling.

Think I need a sit downsmile

Growlithe Fri 16-Nov-12 18:19:17

Yes DH does the big AHHHHHHHHHCCCCHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO thing. Twice. It is completely for effect. He also snores in a ridiculous way. It is just showing off.

MrsDeVere Fri 16-Nov-12 18:02:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Growlithe Fri 16-Nov-12 17:49:58

MrsDV I thought my DH was the only one who has to sneeze twice in a row. Stupid big comedy loud ones too. even when the DCs are in bed. It drives me insane.

Tanyaaah Fri 16-Nov-12 09:28:40

I used to work with someone who would sit and eat an entire yoghurt with his tongue. EVERY DAY.
It was so disgusting I had to eat my lunch back in the workshop.

BibiBlocksberg Thu 15-Nov-12 23:03:44

Fellow Food Noise Open Mouth Chew rager here, vile, utterly vile!

Bag rustling is also one of my 'triggers' -'people take the piss out of me because I cut bags of crisps and other noisy food containers with scissors.

Gets the job over and done with in a second without having to listen to endless rustle rustle rustle noises.

Also work in an office that's so quiet you can hear your blood rushing through every single vain.

I want to commit murder every lunch time when the crisp munching starts all around me.

I've learned to moisten each crisp down so it's inaudible now (to save being a hippocrite for one)

I may do a national tour of talks on 'crisp moistening' and considerate scissor using smile

TeaMakesItToTheTop Thu 15-Nov-12 22:21:43


And I match your load eating and give you sniffing.

Ewgh. Both of them give me the RAGE. I shuffled in my chair all the way from the West Country to London last week because I was sat opposite someone who did both. The shuffling was to stop me shouting at him THE RULES OF THE TABLE.

Does anyone know what age the eating loudly becomes an issue? DS4 is 2 and at the moment I don't need to shout "Eat with your mouth closed and talk with your mouth empty" at him like I do at DS3 (8) if he forgets the RULES OF THE TABLE. I need to know how long I've got to train him. blush

MrsChristmasVamos Thu 15-Nov-12 22:20:00

This drives me nuts.

It's a real pet hate.

I know I must make a noise when I eat, so I am sure that sometimes I am irrational.

DS is the worst culprit. Only because when you tell him to eat whatever it is quietly, he does. Might just be cos he's an alien teenager.

However, would have gladly caused DH pain just now. Just had to listen to him eating a huge bowl of Crunchy Nuts. WHY does it feel like it will never end ? Then, just as you get used to it, it stops.

I may get him back in a while by devouring a few bags of crisps. The deep ridge ones. Except I wouldn't cos he says it doesn't bother him ! Which I find odd, cos certain foods I eat get on me nerves if they are too loud.

I am weird, I know that, in my defence. grin

ConfusedPixie Thu 15-Nov-12 22:19:09

YADNBU, my Mum does this. We reprimand her for it now and just leave when she's eating. She also talks with her mouth full of food <<boak>>

wigglybeezer Thu 15-Nov-12 22:13:38

You all need to google misophonia, Ds2 has it and it makes family life very difficult sometimes as he can't stand the ( minor) noises his brothers make. I am about to try a hypnotherapy tape on him.

Cortana Thu 15-Nov-12 21:57:31

Owl, I PM'd you earlier hun xx

MrsDeVere Thu 15-Nov-12 21:13:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsDeVere Thu 15-Nov-12 21:12:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jjuice Thu 15-Nov-12 21:10:18

owl hope the rest of the month is better. wine or brew

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 15-Nov-12 20:57:51

Shutup above mentioned former boss used to slurp as well.


Alisvolatpropiis Thu 15-Nov-12 20:56:31

My former boss did this. Whenever there was a work do,we would fight not to sit opposite him. Once sat down nobody would move to go to the toilet or anything because the person sitting opposite him would move and then we'd fight over seats again.

How he didn't notice I will never know. He was an utter cunt. I loathed him. The chewing with mouth open and spraying people with food just clinched it for me.

ArbitraryUsername Thu 15-Nov-12 20:42:03

I cannot stand the sound of people scraping food off the fork with their teeth. It makes my skin crawl. So I put up with unfathomable closed-mouthed noisy eating but I tell anyone whose teeth are scraping against metal to stop or they're getting no more food.

*Onward bound*: my DH also has a big nose and nostrils... Maybe that is the source of the problem. He claims it's to do with the shape of the inside of his mouth. He doesn't seem to be able to prevent it, but it does make me feel quite stabby (especially when he's being annoying).

Shutupanddrive Thu 15-Nov-12 20:03:44

Also has anyone mentioned slurping? angry

tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 15-Nov-12 20:01:03

that last msg was for tremolo btw

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