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To want to punch every single noisy opened mouth eater I come across?

(121 Posts)
twinkletoescare Thu 15-Nov-12 16:36:05

Ok maybe not punch BUT DEFO tell them how rude,bad mannered and annoying to anyone within a six mile radius it is?
Kids or elderly I don't's RUDE.

jjuice Thu 15-Nov-12 17:20:14

Hate it with a vengeance. I make everyone at work suck crisps, and if anyone so much as picks up an apple I have to go to somewhere until it's all gone.

We have a coffee slurper in my office...I have yelled at him on many occasions
don't bloody drink it it's too fucking hot he does it on purpose to wind me up now.

We also have a squirrel in the corner who rustles the paper bag on his breakfast teacake, folding it over and over just enough to take one bite then rustle rustle fold fold. I have phoned the butty shop today and asked them to wrap it in cling film. It was bliss.

I think I may have a problem.

HoneyDragon Thu 15-Nov-12 17:20:45


last thread like this resulted in about 75% of mnet scared of the other 25% though. Hopefully they didn't starve to death grin

Cahoots Thu 15-Nov-12 17:20:57

What about tea slurping?

In my opinion it is not quite as bad but still infuriating.

TheDarkestNight Thu 15-Nov-12 17:21:16

Batman - I feel the same, except all mouth noises make me feel ill and ragey at the same time. I can't deal with beatboxing either, or that clicking noise people make with their tongues. Even thinking about it makes me cringe! Ughhhh at gum, and lip-smacking. Those people should be slowly tortured, and there is a special place in hell for those who do it on public transport.

iseenodust Thu 15-Nov-12 17:22:06

Shall we blame the parents or schools ?

OnwardBound Thu 15-Nov-12 17:25:07

I'm another with a DH who eats noisily with his mouth closed!

I don't know how he manages it. I think it's because he eats very enthusiastically and he has a big nose with large nostrils and the sound becomes somehow amplified?

I tell him he sounds like a labrador eating wet food [and he really does!]

I love my DH very much and he is a wonderful man in so many ways.

But when he eats I just want to punch him. I know how this sounds and I do not advocate DV in any way and would never actually do it....

But I just want him to SHUT THE FUCK UP with the vigorous chewing noise!

twinkletoescare Thu 15-Nov-12 17:31:06

jjuice omg I think we were separated at birth!

iseenodust parents and the school...

Lottapianos Thu 15-Nov-12 17:31:06

Ditto Onward. Love my DP too but his chomping makes me want to reach for sharp tools

SecretSquirrels Thu 15-Nov-12 17:31:16

OnwardBound So glad it's not just me.

TessCowDirect Thu 15-Nov-12 17:34:49

My DH is a noisy eater too sad

He never used to be. Now I want to stab him with a fork at every meal.

wavesandsneezes Thu 15-Nov-12 17:36:06

YANBU. And I would extend that to ANY open mouthed eater regardless of whether or not they are noisy. It is vile. And DS (8) would agree - he finds the sight of food being chewed in an open mouth so bleurgh that he physically vomits most of the time that he witnesses it. Bless him, I have been called into school in the past because he has deposited his just consumed lunch back into his lunch box due to this very thing.

LimburgseVlaai Thu 15-Nov-12 17:37:37

My brother eats like a pig. I used to put my fingers in my ears, take my glasses off and sing loudly. We used to have extremely loud shouting matches.

BonVoyageCharlieBrown Thu 15-Nov-12 17:39:28

My sister does this while I'm speaking to her on the phone. sad

I may not be seeing it but listening to it is far worse!

claraschu Thu 15-Nov-12 17:43:49

My son does this, and it is ruining my relationship with him. I have screamed, nagged, sobbed and begged at every meal for the last 10 years, but he keeps doing it.

cheekydevil Thu 15-Nov-12 17:47:22

My dh makes a noise eating a banana! He closes his mouth but his teeth bang together. Who needs teeth for eat a banana for gawds sake?

OwlLady Thu 15-Nov-12 17:49:55

OP, fuck off and stay at home then is my advice

FellatioNelson Thu 15-Nov-12 17:52:11

Oh god, Yanbu. By BIL is the WORST everrrrr for this, and he is a lip smacker as well. He is a really nice guy but I cannot sit next to, or opposite him when we eat. I wait for him to sit then I go to the furthest point at the table.

shrimponastick Thu 15-Nov-12 17:53:23

Oh yes Cheeky DSS has started eating like that recently. No idea, why. Also seems to have a new habit of blowing on every fucking mouthful.


Lottapianos Thu 15-Nov-12 17:55:14

OwlLady there's no need for that!

twinkletoescare Thu 15-Nov-12 17:56:38

owlLady is obvs a noisy eater. Grosse.

twinkletoescare Thu 15-Nov-12 17:58:08

shrimponastick lol @ the blowing on every mouthful...I've had one that done that!

TremoloGreen Thu 15-Nov-12 17:58:22

Oh gosh.

Can I come and unload here?

I've had this problem my whole life. And Daydream, I identify. ILs are lovely people, but their table manners are appalling. I had to deprogramme DH when we were going out. All gross eating habits make me want to cry. This includes: mixing things together (like rice pudding and jam, this started primary school), licking the lids of yoghurt pots and, if I ever see anyone eat the foam off a cappucino with a spoon, I can never look at them in the same way again.

And, breathe.

OwlLady Thu 15-Nov-12 17:59:34

really am I? maybe I have a very disabled child I have to take out and about into the community who cannot eat nicely and I think some of you are narrow minded and ignorant
maybe that's it instead? hmm but nevermind, carry on with your perfect lives and console yourselves that it's just me

twinkletoescare Thu 15-Nov-12 18:02:48

Yes owlLady of course we all think this applies to people with disabilties,people with false teeth etc etc......
Nobody on here has suggested anything about disabled people?
Do you REALLY think we all sit and judge a disabled child eating with their mouth open?

OwlLady Thu 15-Nov-12 18:03:34

hmm the original post says they don't care if people are elderly

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